


Hundreds of Problems

by KindaTrashWriting



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer, Child Abuse, F/F, Foster Care, Foster Parent Medda Larkson | Medda Larkin, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay Newsies, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, I'll add more tags as i go, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapping, M/M, Oops, Original Character(s), Past Character Death, Self-Harm, Sorry again, Suicidal Thoughts, i mean yes but no, mainly races family, more yes than no, my bad - Freeform, sorry - Freeform, sorta - Freeform, this is barely edited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:07:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 34
Words: 55,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27619493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KindaTrashWriting/pseuds/KindaTrashWriting
Summary: Racetrack Higgins had way too many problems.His friends were aware of some of those problems.Anthony Higgins, however, had no problems whatsoever.That's what his family believed, at least.Racetrack Higgins had way too many problems, and most of them were destroying him from the inside.Idk I'm bad at summaries, I got a Beginning in elementary school whenever we had to do them. Anyway, read it if you want to :)
Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly, Racetrack Higgins & Katherine Plumber Pulitzer, Sarah Jacobs/Katherine Plumber Pulitzer, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Comments: 67
Kudos: 61





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Y'all! This is my first fic I've posted. I think it'll be between 5-10 chapters. I'll probably post the second in a day or two. Anyway, since this is my first fic, please tell me if I missed any tags or anything. I don't want to trigger anyone if I missed something. That being said, there are a few curse words in here, sorry if you don't like it. There are also a few slurs- mainly against the LGBTQ+ community and I censored a few of them since they make me uncomfy. Anyway, I think that's it. I hope you enjoy :)

Racetrack Higgins had way too many problems. 

Most people that knew him as such were well aware of said problems. Anthony Higgins, however, had no problems whatsoever. At least that’s what his family thought. For now. Racetrack had no place at home, just as Anthony had no place outside of home. That was the way Race liked it. He wanted, no, needed to stay that way. Honestly, Race wasn’t sure if he’d be able to survive any other way. He’d been living like that since he realized he had a crush on his science fair partner in 4th grade. His science fair partner that very much was not a girl. Race had gone home that night and heard his parents spewing hate for all the “homos” and f*gs”. From then on Race was only Anthony at home. He needed to be able to shed who he really was at home, in order to not get more than the usual slap or punch. That’s just the way Race lived his life. What was wrong with that?

✧✧✧ 

“Hey Racer!”  
Race turned around to see Jack speed walking toward him, barely missing all the students in the crowded hallway.  
Jack caught up to Race, near breathless and started, “Can you come to Jacobi’s diner tonight? We’re all meeting up after school.”  
“Jesus, Jackie, coulda just texted ya know. Woulda saved you some breath,” Race joked, “but nah, I can’t. My folks said they need me home tonight to look after Gabby.”  
“She’s, what, 12? She can handle an hour or two alone.” Jack argued.  
“First off, she is 9. Second, my parents would kill me if they found out I left her alone,” Race answered, only slightly exaggerating.  
“Fine, but ya better be there next week, alright Racer?” Jack inquired, backing away so he could get a headstart to his last class.  
“You got it Jack,” Race sighed, turning to head to his own class. Race looked up at the clock on the wall, “shit,” he muttered underneath his breath. He couldn’t get another tardy, that was something his parents definitely did not like. If he got another tardy it would be a phone call home, and phone call home means angry parents, and angry parents me-  
*Ring*  
“Shit shit shit shit shit-” Race hurried through the halls and got to his class only a minute late.  
“Higgins, nice of you to join us. Take a seat and see me after class,” his teacher, Mr. Wood, announced.  
“Yes, sir,” Race muttered, sliding into his chair. The rest of the class went by, but Race wasn’t able to pay attention to any of it. His leg was extra bouncy today, whether that be from his ADHD, anxiety, or both, he couldn’t tell. He was snapped out of his daydream by the school bell, and quietly started to pack up his stuff before walking to Mr. Wood’s desk.  
“I’m sure you are aware this is your tenth tardy this week, Anthony,” Mr. Wood remarked.  
“Yes, sir,” Race responded, looking at the ground.  
“And you know that this requires a phone call home?”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“And you know that if you get anymore it will result in detention and possible suspension?” Mr. Wood questioned.  
“Yes, sir. I’m sorry it won’t happen again,” Race sighed, hoping his voice didn’t reflect how nervous he felt.  
“I sure hope it doesn’t, Mr. Higgins. This is your education you’re missing out on. You can go now, and you better be on time tomorrow,” Mr. Wood scolded.  
“Yes, sir, sorry,” Race muttered before walking out of the classroom. He knew he should hurry home, since he was already late, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care at the moment. Race took deep breaths in an attempt to maintain his composure. He didn’t want to think how much of a shitshow it would be when he got home late.  
Race got home about half an hour later. His family’s apartment was close enough to school that his father made him walk year round. Race took a deep breath before opening the door to his home.  
“Anthony,”  
Race flinched at the harsh sound. He knew this wasn’t going to end well.  
“Come here, boy,” Race reluctantly obeyed and walked into the living room to see his father, sitting rather stiffly on the couch. His father stood up and walked over to Race, “You want to tell me why I got a call from school today saying you have been tardy ten times this month? And on top of that, you get home late on the day I get this call,” his father hissed.  
“I’m sorry, sir I-” Race started before being cut off with a sharp slap on his cheek. His head jolted to the side, and Race had to restrain himself from clutching his now sore face.  
“I don’t want your excuses, Anthony. They’re never good anyway. I get another call from the school this year and you’ll regret it,” his father threatened.  
“But-” Race started before being roughly thrown to the wall by his father. His head snapped back and hit the wall with a load knock, leaving Race dazed.  
“I said I don’t want your excuses, boy,” his father snarled, “go to your room and if I hear a peep out of you before I say you can come out, it’ll be the closet tonight.”  
It’s always the closet, Race joked to himself as he silently made his way to his small bedroom. He collapsed onto his bed, wanting to lay down, but thinking better of it, since his dad would find any reason to be mad right now. He instead opted for working on his homework until his parents left for the event tonight that probably didn’t even exist.  
The event did, in fact, not exist. Not that Race was really complaining, the likelihood of him doing something wrong went down, so at least he was relatively safe tonight. What wasn’t good was that Race had school tomorrow, and he was pretty sure his cheek was bruised, which meant either makeup or lying to every single person who asked about it. He didn’t like either of those options. Race sighed, at least it can’t get much worse than this, Race thought to himself.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> I wasn't going to post another chapter today, but I did this instead of my homework, so here you go. Nothing too bad happens in this chapter, but there is some mention of non-graphic blood. Feel free to remind me if I forgot to tag anything. Enjoy :)

Racetrack Higgins was not excited for school. He knew people would want to know what happened to his face, and he still didn’t have a good enough story. The only thing he could think of was getting mugged on his way home. That was plausible right? It had to be, it was all Race had.  
Race quietly emerged from his room and walked to the kitchen. He opened the fridge before he heard a voice behind him.  
“Not today, boy. You really thought you’d get some breakfast after last night?” His father taunted.  
“No, sir. Sorry,” Race replied, not daring to look up at his father.  
“Get going now. Don’t want to be late now do we, Anthony,” his father stated, not even trying to make it sound like a question.  
“No, sir.” Race picked up his backpack and walked out the door. 

✧✧✧

Race decided that he would try to keep his head down in school to avoid as many questions as he could.  
“Hey Racer! What happened to your face?” He heard his best friend, Albert, ask beside him.  
So much for that idea. Race turned toward his friend and replied simply, “got mugged.”  
“Damn, do you know who did it?”  
“Never seen ‘im before in my life. He just kinda tried to get my bag, he hit me so he could grab it. Picked the wrong kid to mug though. I ain’t got much for people to steal. He just got 20 bucks or something,” Race muttered, not wanting to look at Albert, just in case he could see through his lies.  
“Well shit dude. Anything we can do to help?”  
Race looked up and found that most of his friends were there, staring at him with varying levels of concern and fear.  
“Uh no, I’m fine. Thanks though,” Race sputtered before speed walking off to his first class. He really couldn’t afford to be late today. 

✧✧✧

His friends stared after him as he walked away. Albert turned to the rest of them, “Something’s wrong. He’s acting weird.”  
“Are you sure? Maybe he’s just having an off day? I mean he was just mugged,” Specs suggested.  
“No, I think Albert’s right,” Jack started, “He’s had off days in the past, but this year it’s like every day.”  
“Do you think Medda would know what to do?” Crutchie asked, turning toward his older brother.  
“I’m not sure, but it won’t hurt to ask her when we get home today,” Jack responded.  
The group nodded and muttered words of agreement before splitting up to get to their own classes. Jack and Albert had the same class so they walked together. Albert turned to Jack and said, “do you think everything is okay? Like at home I mean,”  
Jack sighed, “I don’t know. I wish I did. He’s gotten a lot more jumpy the past few years, that’s for sure. I can’t help but think that maybe it got worse or something.”  
“You mean like it’s always been there, but it’s gotten worse?”  
“Yeah I mean elementary school wasn’t bad, he would occasionally come to school with a bruise or two on his face, but we were too young to think anything of it, ya know? I think that when we got to middle school his pops decided he was old enough to take more.” Jack explained.  
“How can we help him?” Albert asked.  
Jack looked over to his friend, “we can’t, Al. There’s not enough proof right now. Racer has to come to us himself, but I doubt that’ll happen. If we’re right, then he’s been hiding this from us for years.”  
“Jack, we've known him since we were five. Do ya- do ya think it was happening then?” Albert questioned.  
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Jack muttered.  
“Jesus, Jack. That’s 10 years.”  
“I know, Al, but there ain’t anything we’s can do.”  
Albert looked at Jack, “Are you going to talk to Medda?”  
Jack nodded, “I’ll make sure of it. She won’t tell, but she’ll help us figure out if Race needs our help to get out of there.”  
Albert looked up with wide eyes, clear realization written on his face, “Jack, do you think they know Racer is gay?”  
Jack looked at the ground, “Al, I think we would know if they knew.”  
Albert nodded, knowing exactly what Jack meant by that, but still hoping it wasn’t true. 

✧✧✧

Race sighed. He was pretty sure his friends only half believed his story. That half being the part where he was hit in the face. He had hid his home life for 10 years now, and he would hide it for however long he needed to now. Race knew his fears of foster care weren’t completely unfounded, but he also knew his father had increased his fear with threats. He was always told that any foster home he landed in would be way worse than he experienced at home already. On the other hand, Jack and Crutchie had landed in a great foster home with Medda. But they were put there when they were under the age of ten, and they were both adopted by Medda within a year of living with her. No one would want to adopt some random 15 year old, Race thought to himself.  
Race was suddenly brought out of his thoughts when someone slammed into him, causing Race to tumble to the ground, but not before the side of his head hit the jagged and metal corner of a row of lockers.  
“Shit! I’m so sorry I didn’t see you!” Race heard above him.  
Race groggily looked up at the boy. His face was twisted with worry and he looked to be about a head shorter than Race. He could be wrong, of course, since his head was now bleeding and he was also on the ground.  
“Are you okay?” Mystery boy asked, squatting down closer to Race’s level, “Oh fuck, you’re bleeding!”  
“Racer?”  
Great, Race thought, another person.  
Race could make out a blob of red hair running toward him, “Oh my god, Racer are you ok? What happened?” He asked, turning to the mystery boy.  
“I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and I ran into him. I think he hit his head, it’s bleeding.” The short boy explained.  
“I’m assuming you’re new?” Albert questioned, receiving a nod from the other boy, “I’ll go get the nurse, you stay here with Race.” With that Albert stood and ran off.  
“Can you, like, say something?” The mystery boy asked, “I wanna make sure I didn’t give you brain damage or something.”  
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” Race mumbled, his head throbbing.  
“Well you’re definitely not good, but at least you’re talking,” The boy sighed.  
“What’s ya name?” Race squinted up at the boy.  
“Um, Sean Conlon. You can call me Spot, though.” Spot answered, “What about you, Racer? Is that your full name?”  
“Nah, m’ full name’s Racetrack.”  
“Racetrack, huh? Is that a family name?” Spot joked.  
“Sure is,” Race laughed, “My grandpa had the same name.”  
“I’m sure he did.”  
“Oh my! Anthony, how are you feeling?” The nurse, Hannah, inquired.  
Spot raised his eyebrows at Race and mouthed “Anthony”.  
Race rolled his eyes and turned his attention to Hannah, “A little fuzzy and lightheaded. My head hurts.”  
“I’m sure it does, Tony. You got a nasty gash there. It doesn’t look like you’ll need stitches, though. Let’s get you to my office so you can be patched up.” She looked at Albert and Spot, “Why don’t you boys come with us so I can get you a pass to your next class.”  
Oh yeah, Race remembered, his next class was the class he was supposed to be on time to. Mr. Wood was not going to be happy, but at least Race had a valid reason this time.  
Race sat in Hannah’s office to get patched up and then left to get to class. Spot happened to be in the same class, so he waited for Race just in case Race passed out on the way or something.  
“Sorry about that Race” Spot apologized.  
“Don’t worry about it Spotty. Nothing a bandage can’t fix.” Race responded, jabbing Spot in the ribs.  
“Don’t call me Spotty,” Spot retorted with mock anger. They had reached their class and Spot opened the door, allowing Race to go in first.  
“Higgins, nice of you to join us,” Mr. Wood noticed Spot standing slightly behind him, “and I see you have an accomplice now.”  
“Actually, Mr. Wood, we have passes today. I just so happened to accidentally split my forehead open 15 minutes ago,” Race retorted, lifting up his mop of blonde curls to reveal his rather large bandage on his forehead.  
“I see,” Mr. Wood sputtered, “very well, boys. Take a seat now.”  
Race and Spot sat next to each other, and definitely paid attention to the next half hour of class.  
Race sighed, and thought to himself, at least it didn’t get much worse today. Plus he got a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> I would love some constructive criticism. I will try and update this tomorrow!  
> Feel free to follow my tumblr @complete-newsies-trash  
> Have a great day/morning/night :)


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! This chapter has some more graphic depictions of child abuse. It's not too bad, but if you would like to skip it, start reading after the first break. The sentence I would start with is "Jack and Crutchie sat at the dining room table, anxiously waiting for their mother to get home." I will give a brief summary of what happened there in the endnotes.   
> Feel free to remind me if I forgot to tag anything!  
> Enjoy :)

Race should have known better than to think he could have a good day. The moment he got home everything went downhill. It was Friday, which meant he had to spend two full days at home. Race already knew he wouldn’t be allowed to go anywhere because of the previous night. He quietly opened the door to his apartment, bracing himself for the weekend ahead. Sure enough, his father was waiting for him on the other side of the door.   
“Nurse’s office? What for?” His father demanded.   
“I fell,” Race answered simply, looking down at the floor.   
“Oh, I’m sure you did, boy. Did you tell?” His father accused.  
“If I told I sure as hell wouldn’t be here right now,” Race spat out angrily. That anger was quickly replaced with overwhelming dread as he realized what he just did.   
“Backtalk now, huh?”  
“It ain’t backtalk when you ask me a question,” Race blurted out before he could stop himself, “and it definitely doesn’t help when I go to the Nurse with my face already bruised up!”  
That was the line that got Race a punch in the face. He stumbled backward but was able to catch himself before he fell.  
“You shut your mouth right now!” His father threatened.   
“I’m sure a fresh bruise or two won’t make anyone suspicious!” Race hissed, looking straight at his father. This newfound confidence was definitely not doing Race any favors at the moment.   
“So you’re a man now, huh? Finally sticking up for yourself? Think you can take me now, boy?” His father taunted, shoving Race back into the wall.   
“Can’t you just leave me alone?” Race yelled.   
This, apparently, made his father much angrier. Race could tell what was coming, but he was backed into a corner and had no way to escape it now. He braced himself for the hits he knew would start coming. And sure enough, they did.  
His father’s fist slammed into the side of his head, making it snap to the side. The next fist landed on his ribs, causing Race to double over. His father took this vulnerable pose to push Race up against the wall. His body slammed into the drywall, causing his already throbbing head to get much worse. Race’s vision went blurry, and before he knew it he was thrown to the ground. His father started to hit and kick Race any place he could. Race’s arms covered his head in an attempt to prevent any more damage there for the day. The pain was constant for many minutes before it slowed.   
Race glanced up. He heard the slam of a door, his father must have gotten bored. Race felt something warm drip down his face, but he couldn’t tell if it was tears, blood, or both. He coughed, causing more pain to flare up in his ribs. He'd be surprised if some of them weren't cracked at the very least. Race felt the thump of footsteps getting closer and looked up to see his father stomping towards him.   
His father grabbed his arm and harshly pulled Race off the ground. Race was unable to keep in his cry of pain at this motion. He felt himself getting dragged down the hallway. He was shoved in a room. No, not a room. A closet. He was in the closet now. The door was slammed shut and Race was plunged into darkness. He did not like the dark. He heard the click of the lock, then nothing else.   
Race’s breathing was heavy and shallow. Every move he made caused his body to ache even more. There was still something dripping down his face, and he was pretty sure his lip was split. His left eye was sore, almost numb. He wouldn’t be surprised if it would swell shut in the next hour or so. Race was shoved into the closet at an awkward angle, but when he tried to correct himself the pain got immensely worse, so he just laid there instead. Race resigned himself to closing his eyes and slowly drifted out of consciousness. 

✧✧✧

Jack and Crutchie sat at the dining room table, anxiously waiting for their mother to get home. They had agreed to talk to Medda about Race, but were still trying to figure out how exactly to phrase it.   
“Can’t we just say it?” Crutchie asked, turning toward Jack.  
“Say what, Charlie? ‘Hey mama, not to alarm you or anything, but Race might be getting abused or something. We don’t really know, though, so let’s not be too hasty now…’” Jack blurted.  
“Well, I suppose that is one way to tell me.”  
Jack spun around, “how much of that did you hear?”  
“Enough,” Medda answered, sitting down at the table with Jack and Crutchie, “Let’s talk about what you do know, Honey. You said you think Race is getting hurt at home?”  
Jack nodded, “He comes to school with bruises a lot, but most of the time they’re covered by makeup. I don’t think anyone else notices it, but I had to do that when I was little, so I know what that looks like.”  
“He’s also gotten a lot more jumpy and nervous around people, especially teachers,” Crutchie added.   
“Does anyone ever ask about his bruises?” Medda inquired gently.  
“Yeah, he usually just says he fell or ran into something. Which we usually believe, since he’s so clumsy,” Jack explained.  
“Did you not believe his last story?” Medda asked.  
“He said he got mugged. He fumbled a lot during the story. I think he thought he used the falling and running into something excuses too much,” Crutchie replied, looking down at his hands.   
“Is there anything else?”   
“Nothing else really. He’s been home a lot more often the past few months, and some days he just doesn’t seem like himself,” Jack revealed, “I just don’t know what to do, Mama. I think he’s been hiding this from us for years.”  
“I’m afraid he will continue to hide it, Sweetheart,” Medda said sadly, “he hides it because he doesn't want anyone else to know. He is probably ashamed of it.”  
“Why doesn’t he think he can come to us?” Crutchie asked.  
“Baby,” Medda started, reaching for Crutchie’s hand, “I’m sure he knows he can come to you. However, I think he’s scared. I’m sure his parents have ingrained in him that he can’t trust anyone. Even though he wants to ask for help, there's probably a voice holding him back from doing so.”  
“I just don’t like it, mama,” Crutchie whimpered.   
The family sat in silence for a few minutes, unable to say anything else. They were brought out of their thoughts by a knock on the door of their apartment. Jack silently got up to answer it.  
“Albert?” Jack questioned once he opened the door.  
“Have you heard from Race?” Albert inquired quickly.  
“No, why?”   
“He was supposed to come over to my house to study, but he never showed up. He usually texts when he can’t make it, but it’s been three hours and he never texted, and he also isn’t responding to my texts. I have this bad feeling, and I realized I’ve never even been to his house, so I don’t even know where he lives, and I can’t believe I haven’t realized that until now and I-”  
“Albert,” Jack said, putting a hand on Albert's shoulder in an attempt to ground him.  
“Sorry, I-” Albert took a deep breath, “Sorry, I was rambling. I’m just really worried.”  
“Yeah, me too, Al,” Jack revealed.   
“We all are, dear,” Medda said, “why don’t you boys come sit at the table. We’ll figure something out.”  
“Thank you Ms. Medda,” Albert responding, following her and Jack into the dining room.  
“Okay,” Jack started, “what’s our plan?”   
“Track his phone?” Albert suggested, “I think Finch could do that for us.”  
“Okay, and say we do track his phone, that only gives us the apartment building he’s in. We’d have to knock on every door in the building,” Jack responded.  
“And what are we going to do if we find his house? We can’t just barge in there. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Race’s parents before,” Crutchie added, “so if one of them answers the door, what are we supposed to do?”  
“Boys, I wish I could tell you something different, but I don’t think you can do anything. It’ll be nearly impossible to find him, and if you somehow find where he lives I doubt his parents will let you see him,” Medda explained softly.   
“We can’t just do nothing!” Albert exclaimed.  
“Al,” Jack said, “She’s right. We can’t do anything. We have to wait until he contacts us or until school on Monday.”  
Albert sighed, “I guess so.”   
“I’m sorry boys. I wish I could do more,” Medda admitted. 

✧✧✧

Race jerked awake at the sound of the closet door being unlocked. He looked up, expecting to see his father.   
“Gabs?” Race rasped, looking up at his little sister. Her cheeks were glistening with what he could only assume were tears, “What are you doing?”   
“I don’t like when Dad puts you in here,” Gabby whispered, “I stole the key.”   
Race shifted so he was sitting up, and motioned for his sister to come closer. She dived at him, wrapping him in a much-needed hug.  
“I’m sorry he hurts you,” Gabby whimpered.  
“It’s not your fault, Gabs. It’s better than him hurting you,” Race whispered, stroking his sister’s blonde curls that matched his own so well.   
“Was he always so mean?” Gabby asked, shifting so she could look at her brother’s face. She cringed when she saw how awful it looked.   
Race sighed, “No… he was better before mom died,” one thing none of his friends knew was that Race’s mom had died when he was 7, barely a year after Gabby was born. His father then married Janet, a woman he had already been having an affair with only 3 months after their mom died, “he was still mean, but it got worse because mom couldn’t stop it anymore.”  
Gabby looked up at Race, “You should leave.”  
“What?”  
“He’s going to be really mad tomorrow. You should leave now. Let him cool off for tomorrow,” Gabby explained  
Race looked at his sister. She shouldn’t have to think like that. Especially when she was only 9, “okay, I will. Do you know where my phone is?”   
Gabby nodded, “I stole it too.”   
“Thank you, Gabs,” Race said, quietly pulling himself up, much to the protest of his body. He tiptoed to his room, Gabby following closely behind him. Race quickly packed his bag with some clothes, money, and other items. He turned to his sister, pulling her into a hug, “I love you, Gabs. If he does anything to you, text me as soon as you can, okay?”  
Gabby nodded, “okay, I will. I love you too, Tony.”   
“I’ll be back within a week.” Race said before tiptoeing out of the apartment and to the street. The cold air hit Race harshly, causing him to let out a violent shiver. It was two in the morning. Race only had one idea of where to go.   
The Larkin household.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you skipped: Race returns home, and everything goes downhill. He is beaten by his father pretty badly and locked in the closet as an extra punishment. He goes unconscious in the closet. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Kudos make the heart happy :)


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! We're getting a bit more angsty now. I have updated some tags, so make sure you're comfortable with reading this before you start!  
> This chapter is a bit shorter. I wanted to make sure I updated today, but it's still around 1,500 words, so not too bad.  
> Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

Race walked through the cold streets of New York City toward the Larkin house. He was limping and he couldn’t feel his face, but he pressed on. It was only about a 20-minute walk, but Race’s injuries were slowing him down significantly. He just wanted to get out of the cold. Even at two in the morning, there were people walking outside, but no one paid attention to the limping teenager. Race definitely preferred it that way.  
After walking for what felt like an hour, Race finally reached the building. He inserted the code that Jack had given him and stepped inside. He was immediately flooded with warmth as he made his way toward the elevator.  
Once Race made it to the fifth floor, he knocked on the door of the Larkin apartment. He wasn’t sure if he was expecting an answer or not, but his legs gave out before he could think about that for too long. Race dragged himself so he was sitting against the wall next to the door, and knocked again. This time, the door opened.  
“Hello?” A sleepy Medda called. She poked her head out the door and saw Race sitting on the ground, “Oh my! Race, baby, are you alright?”  
Race shook his head lightly, his eyes rolling shut.  
“Hold on, baby. Just give me a second,” Medda ran back into the apartment and into Jack’s room, where Albert was also staying the night, “Boys? Boys wake up.”  
“Mama? What’re ya doin’?” Jack asked groggily.  
“Race is here.”  
“Race?” Albert sat up.  
“Yes, Race. He's in the hallway, I need your help to get him up,” Medda explained. She motioned for the two boys to follow her, “Race, sweetie. Do you think you can stand up for me?” Race shook his head, “okay baby. Jack and Albert are going to help you get inside and then you sleep in a nice warm bed, alright?” Race nodded.  
Jack and Albert started to pick up Race as gently as they could before following Medda into Jack’s room. They carefully laid Race on the bed and pulled the covers over him, but he seemed to fall asleep the second his head hit the pillow.  
“We’ll talk about this in the morning, once he’s more aware. Try not to wake him, alright?” Medda sighed, “Goodnight boys, I’ll see you in a few hours or so.”

✧✧✧

Race woke up to the sound of hushed whispers coming from another room. He vaguely remembered leaving his house and, oh yeah, now he was at the Larkin house. Race pulled himself out of bed, despite the immense pain every movement shot through his body. He quietly limped out of the room and toward the dining room.  
“Mama, he came here beaten half to death, and we’re just going to let it slide?” Jack hissed.  
“I’m not saying that dear. All I’m saying is that you give Race a chance to explain,” Medda scolded.  
Race took that moment to walk into the room.  
“Race, baby. Take a seat. I’ll get you some breakfast. Would you like some toast?” Medda asked, guiding Race to a seat at the table.  
“Yes ma’am. Thank you,” Race affirmed, thankful that Medda let his use of “ma’am” slide for now. Race shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He could feel his friends’ eyes on him, and he didn’t like that one bit. He looked up, and sure enough, they were all staring at him.  
Race let out a frustrated sigh, “What?”  
His friends looked at each other, clearly not expecting Race to actually say something.  
“What happened, Race?” Albert demanded, a bit too harsh for Race’s liking.  
“Nothing. I’m fine,” Race mumbled.  
“Sure as hell don’t look fine to me, Racer,” Jack countered.  
“It ain’t any of your business, Jack,” Race snapped.  
“It becomes my business when you get hurt, Race,”  
“Boys, let’s wait until Race has had some breakfast before we talk, okay?” Medda said, setting a few slices of toast in front of Race, “Race also needs to get cleaned up before we talk anymore. Do you want to take a shower, baby?” Race nodded, his mouth full of toast, “Well, once you’re done with breakfast, you can shower, and then I’ll see if there’s anything I need to patch up, alright?”  
“Yes, Ms. Medda. Thank you,” Race responded. He really wasn’t looking forward to this talk. Maybe if he stalled a bit he would be able to come up with a story. His mind, however, was still pretty fuzzy and he had a splitting headache, so thinking wasn’t doing him much good. Race sighed, he would figure it out. He always did. 

✧✧✧

The group had gathered in the living room once Race had showered. He looked much better without any blood matted in his hair. He only had a few things that needed patching since most of his injuries consisted of different shades of bruises. Race refused to let anyone look at his ribs, much to Medda’s dismay.  
They had all been sitting there for a few minutes. It was clear that no one was sure how to start the conversation. Race’s leg was bouncing excessively, clearly from anxiety and too many days without his meds for his ADHD. He just wished someone would start talking so he could get this over with.  
Since Medda apparently was a mind reader, she started, “Race, I’m sure you don’t want to talk about this, but,” she paused, searching for the right words, “but I’m afraid this is something we have to talk about. I think that you are aware of our suspicions, but we aren’t going to voice them until after you tell us what happened, alright?”  
Race nodded. He still hadn’t come up with a good story, “Um… I got in a fight,” Race lied.  
“With who?” Medda questioned.  
“Some kids at school?” Race did not mean for that to come out as a question.  
“Can you tell me who?”  
“Um… N-no,” Race replied, looking down at his hands. He was starting to wish he had just slept on a park bench or something last night. He could tell everyone in the room saw right through his lies, including himself.  
“Race, dear, I’m sorry,” Medda sighed, “I don’t believe you, honey.”  
“Why not?” Race sputtered.  
“Because it’s clearly a lie, Racetrack,” Jack shouted, causing Race to flinch at the sudden sound. Jack, of course, noticed and lowered his voice, “I’m sorry. We just… we want to help you, Racer. But we can’t do that unless you let us.”  
“I don’t need any help, Jack. I’m fine,” Race insisted.  
“You clearly ain't,” Albert countered.  
“Well if you’s so sure about that why don’t you tell me what my problem is?” Race exclaimed.  
“You ain’t safe!” Albert replied.  
“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Race stuttered.  
“Oh, I'm sure you don't, you-”  
“Albert,” Medda scolded, “there’s no need to get angry with Race. He isn’t doing anything wrong.”  
“Sorry, you’re right,” Albert turned to Race, “sorry.” Race scoffed in return.  
“Race?”  
Race turned towards Crutchie. The boy had been so quiet the whole time that Race almost forgot he was there, “yes?”  
“You know you can come to us, right?” Crutchie asked softly.  
“Yeah. I know,” Race sighed, “I- I have to go,” Race quickly stood to get his backpack and coat.  
“Woah, Woah. Racer, where are you going?” Jack asked standing to follow his friend out of the room.  
“I, uh, Gabby. She… I’m supposed to walk her to soccer practice today. I have to go. I’m sorry,” and with that Race raced (haha raced) out of the apartment. 

✧✧✧

Race had no clue where he was going. He had spent the day jumping between coffee shops, cafes, and different shops just to get somewhere warm. But it was now past 11 at night and Race had just been kicked out of the Cafe he had been in to charge his phone and do his homework. He had already disabled his phone, so his dad and his friends wouldn’t be able to find him unless they tried really hard.  
Race found himself walking towards a small park. There were no people around, and it didn’t have a playground, so the chances of him being disturbed would probably be lower. He walked to a bench, deciding that he would sleep there for the night, and try to wake up before sunrise so no one would find him. Race definitely didn’t want someone finding a practically homeless kid since that would most likely result in him being delivered back to his apartment. Race knew his dad needed a few more days to cool off before he could return home.  
Race collapsed on the bench. He was exhausted. He had nowhere to go. Every place just seemed like a bad option. He just wished his mom was still alive. She was trying to get him and Gabby out of there. She knew they weren't safe. Race felt silent tears slide down his face. He could’ve been happy. Actually happy. Not just the kind of happiness that pops up sometimes when you blissfully forget about all the problems in your life. No, Race wanted the kind of happiness where he didn’t have to regret it. Where he wasn’t constantly being suffocated by things that he could barely control. He wanted the kind of happiness where he could actually be carefree for a day or two. He wanted to be able to only have problems that didn’t constantly take up a part of his mind. Race was sobbing now. He couldn’t help it. He wanted an escape. He wanted to leave. He wanted to get out.  
But Race couldn’t do that. Not to his friends. Not to Gabby. Gabby needed Race, and he needed her. Some days it felt like he was just hanging on for her sake. Who knows what would happen if he lost her too. That’s why he couldn’t ask for help. He could be separated from Gabby. Race couldn’t do that to her. He couldn’t do that to himself. Sure, he suffered for it, but wounds heal. Bruises disappear. Most things aren’t permanent.  
Race’s sobs began to subside, and he slowly drifted to sleep, curled up on a random bench, somewhere in Manhattan. Alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Yes, I did laugh when I wrote "Race raced", deal with it. (I say that with love)  
> Please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> Anywho, hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Have a nice day/night/morning :)


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! This chapter is kinda sad but nothing super bad happens. There's also some solid Katherine and Race friendship. I've always liked that friendship for some reason and I don't think there is enough of it, so I made it myself.  
> Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

Race had been gone from his house for nearly three days now. It was Monday, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to school. His dad could get him from school. Race wanted to wait another day or two, just to be safe.  
Race soon found out that he was reported missing. By his father. On top of that, everyone at school knew he was missing. Just about all of his friends had texted him this morning, telling him about the fact that every homeroom had to talk about Race. Jack had also mentioned that Medda had gone to the police, and told them about Race’s stay with the Larkins.  
Race was basically a fugitive now. He hadn’t committed any crime, of course, but a lot of people now had access to a picture of him. Which meant people might actually look at him. He would be forced back to his house. Lord knows none of the cops are going to bother caring about some runaway teen. They’ll just pick him up and throw him back into the deepest pits of hell.  
Race’s friends were also much more worried now. He had been unaccounted for about two days. No one had any idea where he was. But Race knew he couldn’t hide forever. He’d eventually get caught, or go back on his own. He never thought his father would put out a missing person report. Race didn’t even think his father would’ve cared that he left.  
Race sighed. His mind was racing. He assumed his father was still angry. Probably because he thought Race somehow broke out of the closet. Looking back that might not have been the best plan in the long run, but Race couldn’t go back now. He could only think of one place to go. To his friends. 

✧✧✧

“I still can’t believe we just let him leave,” Albert muttered.  
“We couldn’t exactly keep him from leaving,” Jack scoffed, “that’s basically kidnapping, Al.”  
“It ain’t basically kidnapping, Kelly,” Albert countered.  
“It kind is, Albert,” Crutchie added.  
Albert rolled his eyes. The small group was walking to Jack’s car. The school day had just ended and they were still waiting to hear from Race. Every minute that passed without a text or call from Race increased their already substantial worry. Every single person at school knew about Race going missing. They also knew about how he was likely a runaway, which brought up all kinds of questions. None of which Race’s friends wanted, or knew how to answer.  
“Jack!” A worried voice shouted behind them.  
The group turned toward the voice and saw the Jacobs’ twins running toward them. Worry was etched on their faces.  
“What is it, Davey?” Jack asked, pulling his boyfriend closer to him. He could sense the anxiety rippling off of Davey.  
“We found him,” Sarah breathed, “Katherine is with him. We didn’t want him to run off again.” Sarah began speed walking back toward where she came from, gesturing for everyone to follow her.  
“Where did you find him?” Albert asked.  
“He was in the alley between the High School and Middle School. He seems exhausted, almost disoriented,” Sarah explained.  
Soon enough, the group approached the alley. They were not prepared for what they saw next. Katherine was sitting on the ground, holding Race in a soft but grounding embrace. He was sobbing, holding Katherine like his life depended on it. She was gently combing through Race’s blonde curls with her fingers, trying her best to console him. It seemed to be working since his sobs were slowly dying down. Race and Katherine had always had a strange connection. No one knew how it happened, but one would often go to the other if they needed help.  
The group didn’t get much closer, not wanting to scare off Race. Katherine looked up, gesturing for them to come closer. She knew Race wouldn’t run. Not right now. Race’s sobs had finally subsided, but he was still shaking. He looked so much smaller, curled up in Katherine’s arms. It was heartbreaking.  
“Tony,” Katherine called softly. Race looked up. Katherine was the only one who called him Tony. Katherine smiled at him, still holding him softly in her arms, “Hey, Tony. You’re safe, okay? I got you.” Race nodded.  
Race shifted uncomfortably. He knew a lot of his friends were here. He also knew he had just been sobbing his eyes out only a few minutes ago. Race gently pulled himself out of Katherine’s embrace. He looked up at his friends, “Hey, guys…”  
“Hey yourself Racer,” Sarah responded.  
“Sorry I stole your girlfriend there for a minute, Sarah,” Race joked.  
Katherine snorted, “at least you seem to be feeling a bit better.”  
“Yeah, maybe I just needed a good cry or something,” Race responded.  
“Personally, I would prefer if the ‘or something’ didn’t involve disappearing for two days, Race,” Albert said softly, receiving sounds of agreement from the rest of the group.  
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” Race mumbled.  
“It’s alright, Race,” Katherine paused, “well, it’s not alright. We’re not mad at you. We were just worried. No one knew where you went. You could’ve been dead in some dumpster in the Bronx for all we knew.”  
“Race, I know you don’t probably want to talk about what happened, but come to us instead if this ever happens again,” Davey explained, “I know you went to the Larkin’s, but you should’ve stayed there.”  
Race sighed, “I- I know. I’m sorry.”  
“Where are you going to go now, Race?” Crutchie asked.  
“Home. Or I guess to the police station since I’m still missing.”  
“Race you can’t seriously be considering going home,” Jack exclaimed.  
“I don’t have a choice, Jack!” Race yelled.  
“Tell them! Tell them why you ran. They won’t put you back there if they know what he does,” Jack insisted.  
“They’ll take Gabby. She can’t be taken away, Jack. She needs me,” Race desperately yelled.  
“She needs a home where her dad isn’t fucking abusive, Racetrack!” Albert exploded, “and so do you. You aren’t safe and we know it. Your dad hits you and your mom just stands there and lets him. Does she join in too?”  
“My mom’s dead, Albert,” Race spat.  
The entire group fell silent. Realization dawned on Race’s face as he comprehended what he had just said. Only Katherine knew. Race had confided in her a few years ago after Katherine had revealed that her own mom was also dead.  
“I- I’m sorry, Race I-”  
Race cut Albert off, “You didn’t know, Al. I just- you guys don’t understand. I need to go back there. My dad… he said that if I ever tell someone he’d make sure me and Gabby are separated. He has friends, friends that could actually make sure that could happen. I need Gabby, and she needs me. I don’t think I could… um, go on without her.”  
Another wave of silence fell over the group. Sarah and Crutchie had tears rolling down their cheeks, and it was clear everyone else was holding them back. Katherine slowly pulled Race back into an embrace.  
“Tony, we love you. We don’t want to see you hurt, or lose you. So, if you don’t want to come forward right now, or ever, we will support you. No matter what,” Katherine sniffled. She had stopped holding back her tears. Soon everyone else had joined in the embrace, surrounding Race with the love that he hadn’t had a chance to experience in the past ten years.  
They stayed there for several minutes, before slowly pulling away from each other. Katherine looked at Race, “do you want me to take you to the police station?”  
Race knew she did not really mean it as a question, but he nodded anyway. He turned to the rest of the group, “I’ll see you guys soon.” With that, the group went their separate ways. 

✧✧✧

“Where’d you go?” Katherine asked. They had only been driving for a few minutes.  
“Around,” Race sighed, “I’m not really sure. I didn’t really pay attention. I slept on benches, though.”  
Katherine let out a watery laugh, “Promise me you’ll come to me next time? I was so scared when I saw your face show up on the news Saturday.”  
“Yeah, I’ll come to you.”  
“Why’d you run? Like what exactly provoked it?” Katherine questioned.  
“I wasn’t going to. Gabby said my dad seemed extra mad this time. She let me out of the closet. She told me to run.”  
“I’m sorry, Race. I wish there was something I could do to help.”  
“Kat, you’re doing it right now. I know I can always come to you. You’re one of the few people I actually let myself trust fully,” Race explained, “thank you for not telling them.”  
“It wasn’t my place to tell them about your home life. You are the one who gets to decide when and if you do that,” Katherine said.  
The car fell into a comfortable silence for the rest of the ride. They arrived at the police station, and they both walked in.  
The secretary looked up, “how can I help you?”  
“Um, I’m Anthony. Anthony Higgins. The missing kid,” Race stumbled through his explanation.  
“Oh!” the secretary turned to mumble something into her radio, “I have an officer on their way to help you. Are you planning on going with Anthony?” The secretary asked Katherine.  
“Yes ma’am. I’m his friend,” Katherine said.  
“Alright then.”  
An officer approached Race and Katherine, “How about you two come with me. I’m Officer Williams. We’ve already contacted your family. They will be here shortly, but before they get here, I want to hear why you ran away, alright Anthony?”  
“Yeah, that’s fine,” Race mumbled, “Am I in trouble? Like is something going to happen to me?”  
“Of course not, Anthony. As far as we are concerned you didn’t commit a crime. We just need to know why you ran away, in case it’s not safe to send you back home,” Officer Williams explained, “so can you tell me why you ran?”  
“It’s stupid. My dad and I got into an argument and I was mad. I don’t even remember why I decided to leave. It was hours later. Then I was too stubborn to go back home,” Race explained, doing an excellent job of lying.  
“That’s it?” Officer Williams asked  
“That’s it. As I said, it was stupid. I should’ve gone back home, but I was angry.”  
“Alright then. Thank you, Anthony. You two can stay here until your family comes, then we'll talk it through with your parents and see what the next steps are.” Officer Williams walked out of the room, gently shutting the door behind him.  
Race felt Katherine take his hand. A silent promise that everything would be okay. Race felt little comfort with this gesture. He could practically feel his heartbeat speeding up. The door suddenly flew open. Race’s father began walking toward him.  
“Anthony!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> I hope you enjoyed :)


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! There are some depictions of child abuse in this chapter. I don't think it's too graphic, but if you'd like to skip, I would stop reading at the sentence "Robert walked back into the living room..." and begin again at "Race woke up, surprisingly, in his bed."   
> Nothing else besides that!  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race braced himself for a hit but found himself engulfed in a hug instead. That was definitely strange. He couldn’t remember the last time his dad had hugged him. He probably never has. Race cautiously returned the hug. His father suddenly pulled away and grabbed Race gently by the shoulders.   
“We were so worried, Anthony. Please never scare us like that again,” his father said. Race almost would’ve believed the man's words were sincere.   
“I won’t. I’m sorry Dad,” Race apologized.   
“Tony!” Gabby came barreling into Race, diving into his arms.  
“I’m sorry Gabby. I shouldn’t have left,” Race whispered.  
“It’s alright. I just missed you,” Gabby assured.   
“Janet is on her way, Anthony. She’s relieved we found you,” His father said, putting a strong hand on Race’s back. Any passerby would think it was a kind gesture from a father to his son, but Race knew it was the exact opposite of that. It was a warning.   
Officer Williams walked in and announced, “I hate to cut this family reunion short, but we need to talk about next steps,” he turned to Katherine, “you’re welcome to leave, miss. This is more for the family anyway.”  
“She can stay,” Race said quickly.   
“Alright then, let’s get started, shall we?” Officer Williams gestured for the group to sit at the circular table in the middle of the room.   
Race’s father started, “Legally speaking, are there going to be any consequences?”   
“No. Running away is not a crime. However, there are some things we recommend so that this doesn’t happen again. First off, Anthony will need a curfew. A pretty strict one at that, and it should be for a couple of months at the very least,” Williams explained.  
“What time would you recommend?” Race’s father asked.   
“Well, Mr. Higgins-”  
“Robert, please,” Race’s father interrupted.   
Williams nodded, “of course, Robert. It really depends on what will work best for Anthony. You still want to give him some freedom, but the freedom needs to be restricted right now. I’d recommend 8 pm every day except for Friday and Saturday. I would say 8:30 or 9 pm on those nights, depending on what you’re comfortable with now,”  
“Is there anything else I’m not allowed to do?” Race asked.   
“That’s our main recommendation, especially for first-time runaways. If this becomes a frequent occurrence, or if Anthony starts acting out in any other ways, like stealing or substance use, we would recommend a treatment facility,” Officer Williams sighed, “Any questions?”  
“No, officer. Thank you for your help,” Robert said, “I think we just want to get home. It’s been a long day.”   
“Alright, I was glad to be of help,” Williams looked at Race, “I hope I don’t have to see you here again, alright kid?” Race nodded, “Alright, you folks can show yourselves out.”   
Robert turned to Race, “let’s get going.”  
“Yes, sir,” Race took Gabby’s hand in his own and followed his father out of the precinct, Katherine following closely by Race’s side. Once they reached his dad’s car, Race turned toward Katherine, pulling her into a hug, “I probably won’t see you tomorrow, but I’ll try to text you, okay?” He whispered.   
“Okay. I’ll tell the others if you don’t show tomorrow,” Katherine promised.   
Race watched as she reluctantly turned around and headed back toward her car. Race turned to get in his own car. He could feel the anger coming off of his father, but they pulled out of the parking lot without a single word being said. The silence was making Race extremely uncomfortable, and it was clear by the way Gabby was shifting in the backseat that she felt the same way.   
“What the fuck were you thinking, boy?” Robert hissed, “you could’ve brought DCS down on our asses.”   
“I didn’t mean to-”   
“Didn’t mean to what? Get caught?” Robert laughed, “I should’ve just told them about your little issue with cigs. Could’ve had a break from you without getting much attention for it.”  
Race’s eyes widened, “How did you-”  
“How’d I find out? You ain’t the best at hidin’ when you’re out for a smoke. And you definitely can’t cover the scent up well enough to fool me,” Robert berated, “if you ever pull that stunt again, I’ll make sure you’re shipped off to one of those facilities in a matter of minutes. Maybe I’ll even add in that you have a drinking problem. Think they’ll keep you longer?”  
Race gulped. He didn’t want to go to one of those facilities. He had been trying to quit smoking for months now, and now he only smoked once or twice a week. Which was a huge improvement from once or twice every couple of hours only a few months ago. Also, Race doubted that his father would let Gabby or any of his friends visit if he went to rehab.   
The remainder of the car ride was silent. Once they got to their apartment building Robert roughly ushered Race to their own apartment, with Gabby following closely behind. Once inside, Robert shoved Race onto their ratty couch.   
“Stay,” Robert demanded, “Gabriella, go to your room. Don’t come out until I tell you to.”   
“Yes, Dad,” Gabby said, reluctantly turning to retreat into her room.   
Robert then turned back to Race and grabbed the bag he had brought with him from Friday night, “Stay right there, boy,” Race’s father threatened before stomping into Race’s room. Race could hear him searching through his stuff, most likely looking for Race’s cigarettes. He was probably going to use them as leverage against Race.   
Robert walked back into the living room, a lit cigarette hanging between his lips. He looked at his son and smirked, “take your shirt off.”  
“Wh- what?” Race asked, shrinking in on himself.   
“Can’t rough you up like usual, boy,” Robert gestured to the cigarette, “I gotta teach you a lesson somehow.”  
Race suddenly realized what his father was planning on doing. He was really starting to wish he hadn’t ran on Friday. But Race couldn’t do anything, so he slowly pulled off his hoodie. He felt so exposed, his previous scars from his father on display. Race looked at the ground, not knowing what else to do. He was quickly shoved onto the ground. Robert roughly grabbed Race’s curls and pulled Race up onto his knees. Race let out a cry, which earned him a hit in the back of the head.   
Robert laughed, a sound sickening to Race’s ears, “I think I’ll have a good pack of cigarettes, shame I lost my ashtray a couple of days ago, ain’t it, son?”   
Race didn’t respond. He was shaking, both from the cold of the apartment and from fear. He tried to distract himself, but the smoke from the cigarette was slowly giving the living room an awful haze. Race wanted to cry, but his father always told him “men don’t cry”. That phrase was stupid. Jack cried all the time, but he was pretty manly.   
Suddenly a searing pain hit Race’s back. He bit his lips to keep back his cry. His skin was sizzling, he could hear it. His eyes were tearing up, despite Race’s efforts to hold them back. His mouth was filled with the taste of blood. Race had never felt this kind of pain. He couldn’t even tell if the cigarette was still on his back.   
Race’s vision was swimming, turning black on the edges. He could feel himself drifting out of consciousness, but he couldn’t stop it. The pain was subsiding, likely from the lack of a fully conscious brain. So Race let himself go, and he faded from consciousness. 

✧✧✧

Race woke up, surprisingly, in his bed. He was sure he would’ve been shoved in the closet instead. His back still hurt. He looked at the time on his alarm clock. 1:37 am. Race slowly got out of his bed and walked, or stumbled, to Gabby’s room. He quietly pushed the door open and knelt next to Gabby’s bed, gently shaking her awake.   
“Tony?” Gabby asked groggily.  
“Yeah Gabs, it’s me,” Race whispered, “I need your help.”   
“Okay, what do I need to do?”  
“Can you get some soapy water, a towel, and the box of bandages from the bathroom?” Gabby nodded. Race sighed, “good. Meet me in my room, okay?”   
Race stumbled back to his room, collapsing on his bed. After a few minutes, Gabby walked in, gently shutting the door behind her and turning on the lamp on Race’s bedside table.   
“Gabby, my back is hurt, okay? It’ll probably look kinda scary, but I can’t clean it or bandage it on my own. Do you think you can help me?” Race asked.   
“Yes. I can help.”  
“Thank you,” Race slowly turned around so that his back was facing Gabby. He heard her gasp.   
“Oh, Tony. It looks like it hurts,” Gabby whimpered.   
“It’s not so bad,” Race lied, “I need you to dip part of the towel in the soapy water and dab it onto my back. After you’re done with that, pat it dry with the other part of the towel,” Race explained.  
Gabby did as she was told, only pausing when Race let out a violent flinch when she touched some of the worse burns. She gently pat his back dry before quietly announcing she was done. Race then helped her to wrap some gauze around his torso until it covered all of the burns.   
Race turned around and brought Gabby into a gentle hug, “Thank you, Gabs.” Gabby just nodded in return, unable to voice anything in response. Race looked down at her, "why don’t you head back to bed, you have school in six hours. I love you.”  
“I love you too, Tony,” Gabby said before turning to go back into her own room.   
Race watched her quietly shut the door as he was plunged back into the feeling of being completely and utterly alone. Race sighed, at least he would see that one cute boy he met on Friday.  
Race just hoped he hadn’t scared Spot off with his hundreds of problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I finally gave Race's dad a name. Sorry to all the nice Roberts out there.   
> This fic is becoming longer than I anticipated (wow big word, thank you 3rd grade). I am thinking about making it into a series since I have so many ideas, but I will make sure this fic by itself has a satisfying ending. Feel free to let me know what you think!   
> Please let me know if I missed any tags!   
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed :)


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Nothing really to say about this chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race took a deep breath as he prepared himself for walking into school. He knew everyone would be talking about the kid who ran away for at least a couple of days. Race did not need that kind of attention. He tugged his hood over his head a bit more and walked into the building, frantically searching for one of his friends. He finally spotted Katherine and Sarah at the end of the hall and bolted towards them.  
“I can’t do this,” Race breathed as he approached the couple, “I really can’t do this.”  
“You can do this Tony. Just try and breathe. Everyone will forget about this by next week, okay?” Katherine assured her friend.  
“You have at least one of your friends in every class, we’ll make sure you’re not alone, got it Racer?” Sarah explained.  
“Yeah, yeah I got it,” Race mumbled.  
“How about we head to our class early today?” Katherine asked, “that way we can get out of the noisy halls.  
“Yeah I think that’s a good idea,” Race nodded.  
Katherine led Race through the halls, arriving at their first class 15 minutes early. They entered the classroom, waving at their English teacher, Ms. George. Race walked to the back of the classroom and slumped into a seat in the corner, Katherine taking the one beside him.  
“Did something happen last night?” Katherine asked, her voice hushed.  
Race nodded, “He found my cigarettes, and then he- he said he couldn’t rough me up like he used to so he made me take it off and- and he smoked all the cigarettes but he didn’t put them out in the ashtray he- uh...he put them out on my- on my b-back,” tears were silently trailing down Race’s face as he recalled the previous night, “I had to get Gabby to help m-me clean the burns and bandage them.”  
“Oh my god,” Katherine choked, barely able to comprehend how someone could do that to their own child, “I’m so sorry.”  
Race shrugged, grimacing as the movement irritated his burns, “It could be worse. I’d be dead if he found out I am gay.”  
“Don’t say that, Tony,” Katherine scolded lightly.  
The conversation suddenly stopped as a couple of students entered the classroom. One of them spotted the two in the back and turned to her friends, likely to point Race out. The group huddled together in hushed whispers, making Race extremely self-conscious. Then Spot walked in because of course he did. He also saw Race, but decided to head towards him instead of joining in with the whispering.  
“Ignore them. They’re stupid,” Spot said as he approached Race.  
“Great so they are talking about me,” Race muttered.  
“Well… yeah,” Spot shrugged, “but fuck them. You don't need to share what happened if you don’t want to. They ain’t entitled to that.”  
And fuck. Race now had a crush on this boy who was still choosing to be around him despite going missing the day they met.  
“Uh, Race? You with us?” Spot asked.  
“Huh? Oh yeah just zoned out for a second. Sorry,” Race said.  
“No big deal, mind if I sit back here with you guys?” Spot asked, receiving a nod from Race. Spot cleared his throat, “Um, you don’t have to answer this, but are you guys… gay?”  
Katherine snorted, “Damn, you got a good gaydar, dude. What’re you?”  
“I’m bi,” Spot answered.  
“Lesbian,” she looked at Race, “and Racer is gay,” Katherine added.  
“Thank god I split your forehead open on Friday, Race or I wouldn’t have found my people,” Spot joked.  
“I don’t think you can take all the credit for that, Spotty. I think I did an awfully good job of falling if I do say so myself,” Race countered.  
Spot smirked, “Alright, I’ll give you that. Now I gotta ask, what’s with the name? Like where’d you get it?”  
“A lot of people in our group have nicknames. Mine comes from elementary school. We had a track near our playground and I used to race people on it. Pretty anticlimactic,” Race explained.  
“What isn’t anticlimactic is that the first time someone called him Racetrack is because he face planted in the middle of a race. Jack had to bring him to the nurse and called Race ‘Racetrack’ to make fun of him and it’s just stuck since then,” Katherine added on.  
“I was attempting to avoid that part of the story, Kat,” Race scowled.  
Spot laughed, “I happen to think that was the best part of the story.”  
Race sputtered, “I- wha- you know what? You don’t get an opinion. You weren’t there.”  
The bell rang, signaling the start of class, but Race could not pay attention. He kept glancing at Spot. Although short, the boy made up for the lack of height with a surplus of muscles. He looked like he could crush one of the Delanceys with one hand. But what really caught Race’s attention was Spot’s smile. It was a little crooked and there was a bit of a gap between the two front teeth, but it made Race giddy nonetheless.  
Once class ended, Race encouraged Spot to join his table at lunch. Spot agreed, and Race went off to his next class, which was study hall in the library. He had a slight headache, probably from his hell of a weekend, so he stopped at the nurse’s office to get some pain killers. Hannah happily offered them to Race, politely inquiring how he had been and that she was worried when she found out he was missing. Race apologized, but Hannah brushed it off, handing him a pass so he could get to study hall.  
Race headed towards the library. He walked for a minute before being roughly shoved up against the lockers. Race looked up and was met with the ugly sneers of Oscar and Morris Delancey.  
“Where’d you run off to, huh Racer?” Oscar asked, “We heard you almost got caught smuggling some drugs.”  
“That’s ridiculous Oscar. If I was smuggling you sure as hell wouldn’t know,” Race spat.  
“Oh, feisty today are we?” Morris laughed, “I’d be careful Race. There’s two of us and only one of you.”  
“You dicks,” Race growled.  
“I thought you liked dicks, f*g,” Oscar said.  
“Don’t call me that,” Race demanded, “I didn’t think you were that dumb.”  
“We ain’t the dumb ones here buddy. You’re the one agitating us without anyone around to save you,” Oscar laughed.  
“Just get lost. I don’t wanna deal with this shit right now,” Race said.  
“Oh did you hear that Oscar?” Morris asked, “the f*g told us to get lost.”  
“I don’t like the sound of that,” Oscar laughed, “maybe we should knock some sense into him.”  
The first punch came so suddenly Race didn’t have time to prepare for it. His head snapped to the side, an intense pain exploded next to his left eye. A sickening crack rang through the hallway, but Race felt no new pain.  
“Get out of here,” A voice growled, clearly directed at the Delancey brothers. Race could hear them running the opposite way. A gentle hand touched Race’s arm, and the person began to speak to him, “hey Race. You okay?”  
Race looked up, “Yeah. I think I just need an ice pack. Thanks for that, Spot.”  
Spot laughed, “no problem, but I think we need to stop getting into situations where I bring you to the nurse.”  
Race giggled, “Yeah, maybe.”  
“Look, Race, I know this might not be the time, but I like you. A lot,” Spot looked at Race, “would you maybe want to go on a date sometime?”  
“I would really like that, Spot,” Race smiled.  
“Great, let’s talk more at lunch? I think we should get you to the nurse.”  
Race nodded, “yeah that sounds great.”  
Maybe this day wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> I honestly don't think this chapter is that great. My depression isn't so hot today, but I still wanted to get a chapter out today. I also wanted to establish Spot and Race's relationship, so this is more of a filler chapter to do that.  
> Please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> I hope you enjoyed :)


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing really to say about this chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Maybe Race should stop thinking that his days weren’t actually bad. Because sure enough all of his problems had caught up to him by the end of the day. His back and head were throbbing, he was constantly shaking from the lack of ADHD medicine, he was clearly going through withdrawal because of the lack of said medicine and the lack of nicotine, his depression was really starting to set in for the afternoon which made him feel completely numb, and to top it all off he had had a total of four panic attacks today. Race was beginning to think he was cursed.  
And yet Race still pushed through the day, hiding all of his not so good feelings from his friends. They were already too worried about him. Katherine was definitely eying him at lunch, most likely suspicious about his mellow demeanor. Even with all the shit he went through, Race could usually produce a joke or two, or at least a laugh. But today all he could do was lightly smile and answer simply whenever the conversation pertained to him. Race could tell his friends found it unsettling, but he really could not bring himself to care at the moment. He only had to get through three more classes, and then he could go home where he hopefully wouldn’t be bothered.  
The rest of the school day was relatively uneventful. Katherine insisted on driving Race home and he begrudgingly agreed. Katherine tried to talk to Race, but a simple ‘I can’t today’ from him made her cease her questioning. Race just wanted to get home and sleep until he had to make dinner for the family. Lucky him. At least when Race made dinner it was almost guaranteed he would get to eat some of it.  
Katherine dropped Race off at his complex and watched as he went inside. He dragged himself up the stairs to his apartment and was met with the sound of light sobs when he opened the door.  
“Gabby?” Race called, worry etched in his voice.  
“Come here, Anthony!” A woman's voice called.  
Race ran into their small living room, being met by a sight he wished he could unsee. Janet was holding Gabby on the ground, rocking slightly. Janet’s cheeks glistened from previous tears, as more slowly trailed down her face. Gabby was sobbing into Janet’s shoulder.  
“I’m sorry, Anthony,” Janet croaked, “I’m sorry.”  
Everything Race had thought he knew about Janet was wrong. She wasn’t sitting idly by as his father hit him or kicked him. She was in the same situation as he was. Scared to leave the abuser that controlled so much of their lives. Race could see the redness on her cheek, recognizing it as a clear hit, one that likely would be bruising soon.  
“He- he hurts you too?” Race asked quietly, kneeling to join his step-mother and sister on the ground.  
Janet nodded, “I’m so sorry, Anthony. I want to get you two out of here, but I’m so s-scared of him.”  
“I get it. Don’t apologize, I was wrong about you. I thought you just let him hurt me,” Race whispered, “what happened today?”  
“He came home d-drunk. Gabby got in his way and he slapped her. I- I didn’t know what to do. He never hurts Gabby, just you,” Janet whimpered, “I snapped. I- he always makes me leave or makes it so I can’t tell what’s happening when he hurts you. He’s never done it in front of me before. I got so angry. He’s like a whole other person. He’s not that way when he hits me. It- it's always just a slap or something. But… I could tell he wanted to do more than just slap her once.”  
“I wish I had known,” Race said, unsure of how to respond to his distant step-mother.  
“Now you do,” Janet sighed, “I don’t know what to do. He’s threatened to call immigration on my parents. They’re from Mexico. I can’t- I can’t do that to them.”  
“I understand,” Race assured.  
“Anthony, you shouldn’t have to suffer because I’m not brave enough to get help. I can’t even leave with you two. He didn’t give me any custody other than picking you up from school,” Janet explained.  
“Janet,” Race said softly, “you don’t need to explain yourself. I’m sure as hell not brave enough to get help either, and I had the perfect opportunity to do so yesterday,” he paused, “you’re parents aren’t the only ones from Mexico, are they?”  
“No, I am too. I started dating your father when I was 19 and about a year later my parents told me that I had been born in Mexico and that they had illegally immigrated here when I was only three months old. I technically live here illegally, as do my older siblings. I can’t hurt my family like that.”  
Race nodded, “do you want to get out of here?”  
“More than anything,” Janet responded, “but I can’t leave you behind either.”  
“Yes, you can. You need to. My father won’t call immigration as long as I’m still here. He’ll take his anger out on me, not on you,” Race explained.  
“Anthony, I can’t let you do that,” Janet exclaimed.  
“It’s your only chance. It’s your family’s only chance. I have a bit more than two years before I can get out of here and take Gabby with me. Your family has their entire lives at risk here. You need to go, Janet,” Race insisted.  
“Okay. Okay, I will,” Janet paused, “I need you to text me or call me in a few days. I need to know you’re okay, or I’m coming back.”  
“Alright. Now go pack, I don’t know when he’ll be back. Only bring the essentials,” Race said.  
Janet gently passed Gabby into Race’s arms and went to pack a duffel bag full of personal items. She sadly said goodbye to Gabby and Race, continuing to apologize throughout the farewells. Race assured her she was doing the right thing and promised to call in a few days. With that, Janet left, leaving Race attempting to figure out how to make his dad mad enough that he would forget about Janet. This was proving increasingly difficult because his fogged up mind could not take that much thinking at the moment. Race instead opted for sitting and waiting. 

✧✧✧

Race jumped as the front door was thrown open. He quietly continued to wash the dishes from his and Gabby’s dinner as he awaited the arrival of his father in the kitchen. Race put the dishes in the cabinet and popped a small serving of pasta in the microwave for his father.  
“Where’d she go?” Robert slurred, stumbling into the kitchen.  
“Who are you talking about, Father?” Race asked quietly.  
“Your mother. Where is she?”  
“She’s dead, Dad.”  
“No no. I mean the new one. Janet,” Robert said, laughing, “I got you a new one, don’t you remember son?”  
At this moment Race was incredibly glad that his father had drunk enough to make him become the relatively nice version of himself. Race gently guided his father to sit at the counter and put down the bowl of pasta in front of him. He started, “Janet is visiting her family for a few days. She said it was an emergency and none of her calls to you would go through. She asked me to tell you,” Race finished off his lie, feeling pretty proud of himself for fabricating it right then and there.  
“Oh. That’s okay then,” His father took a bite of the pasta, “where’s this from son? We should buy it again.”  
“It’s from mama’s old recipe book, Dad. It’s Nonna’s recipe,” Race answered. He had always loved his Italian roots. His mother had taught him many Italian phrases and recipes when she was alive. She would always call him ‘Bambino’. His mama also called him ‘Antonio’ because she said that’s what she wanted to name him, but his father said it was “too foreign”. That’s also the reason Race can’t speak Italian around the house. His father gets furious.  
“I’m going to bed, alright Anthony?” Robert looked at his son, “you should too. You look tired.”  
“Okay, dad. I will,” Race assured.  
Robert stumbled over to his son, “I love you, Anthony.”  
Race suddenly found himself in his father’s embrace. He couldn’t help but sink into his father’s arms, grasping at what little love his father seemed to have for him. His father slowly pulled away and stumbled to his bedroom.  
Race’s eyes began to tear up. He hated that somehow, despite everything that man had done to him, he still loved him. Race still loved his father, and he despised himself for it. But he couldn’t help it. They were family, and family is important, no matter what.  
Race just hoped his love for his own family wouldn’t end up destroying him and everything else he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I revealed Janet was good and yes then I got rid of Janet. Sorry about that.  
> Anyway, I'm probably going to try to not make this fic more than 15 chapters, but we'll see where it goes.  
> As always, please let me know if I missed any tags.  
> I hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> Also, I love reading any and all comments (even when it is just 'S P R A C E'). They make me smile even on a bad day :)


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing to say about this chapter!  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race was actually having a pretty good week. After the little Janet debacle, Race’s father had just muttered something about “stupid fucking bitch” and let it be. Race had gotten out of the situation completely unscathed, much to Janet’s delight. She and her family had moved to a different state and were safe for the foreseeable future.   
The weekend went by without incident and Race arrived at school on Monday giddier than ever. Spot had agreed to take him on a date the next day since it was Thanksgiving break and they only had classes on Monday and Tuesday. Race got through his first few classes and arrived at lunch with a bounce in his step.   
“What’s got you all riled up on this bleak Monday, Racer?” Jack asked, clearly still half asleep.  
“Nothing, it’s just been a good couple of days,” Race answered, “Nothing happened over the weekend and I finally got all my meds in the mail.”   
“That’s great, Tony,” Katherine said, sliding into the seat beside Race.   
“Yeah, Race. We’re happy for you,” Davey smiled at Race, “just remember that if you need anything we’re all here.”  
“Okay, mom. I got it,” Race joked.   
The rest of the school day flew by. Race soon found himself walking home, still as happy as he was when he left that morning. He walked into his apartment, receiving a half-assed greeting from his father. Race miraculously didn’t have any homework, so he instead asked Gabby if she wanted to make cookies to which she joyously responded yes.   
Before starting Race walked over to where his father was sitting on the armchair in the living. Race started, “do you want me to make dinner tonight?”   
Robert grunted, “Nah, I’m heading out soon. I’ll leave you some money for pizza or something.”   
“Okay, well Gabby wanted to make cookies, but I’ll be sure to clean up right away,” Race explained.   
“Good.”   
With that Race nodded and headed into the kitchen. The interaction with his father had left Race a bit unsettled, but he brushed it off, turning his attention back to Gabby and the cookies. And for the first time in a long time, Race laughed freely in his own house. 

✧✧✧

Race could barely remember anything he was supposed to have learned at school. He was way too excited for his date with Spot to focus on anything else throughout the day. Race nearly bounced as he waited for Spot to pack his bag at his locker.   
“Take a breath, Racer. Don’t want you to pass out before our date,” Spot laughed.   
“Sorry, I’m just a bit excited,” Race smiled.  
“Yeah, I’m ‘just a bit’ is the correct measurement for your level of excitement,” Spot answered, closing his locker. He took Race’s hand and led him outside. Spot started, “I wasn’t really sure of where to take you, so I’m taking you to some of my favorite places back home.”   
“Where is home?” Race asked, “didn’t you just move here?”   
“Yeah, but I’s from Brooklyn. My parents got divorced and my mom got majority custody. She and I moved to Manhattan so I transferred schools,” Spot explained.   
“So you’re from Brooklyn, huh?” Race paused, “that explains the accent.”   
“So it does,” Spot laughed. The two approached Spot’s car and got inside, falling into a comfortable silence as Spot drove. Soon enough they had arrived at a small cafe in Brooklyn.   
“Oh my god, this place is so cute!” Race exclaimed as they got out of the car.   
“I’m glad you like it. It’s a small place, but it does well with regulars,” Spot said. The two walked in, taking a small booth in the corner of the cozy restaurant.   
A young waitress approached them, “Welcome to 60th Street Cafe! Can I- Spot?” the waitress suddenly stopped.   
“The one and only,” Spot said then gestured at Race, “this is Race.”   
“Hi,” Race added awkwardly.  
“Hello, I’m Sabrina, but you can call me Hotshot,” Hotshot responded with a smile, “Where have you been, Spot? You kinda just left without saying anything.”  
“I’m sorry about that Hotshot. My mom didn’t really tell me we were moving, so one day I came home with all my stuff packed and we left. I’m in ‘Hattan now.”   
“That makes sense. I’ll make sure the fellas know you didn’t just dip on us for no reason,” Hotshot looked at Spot and Race then smirked, “I’ll let you get back to your date now. I’ll get you some water to start.”   
The remainder of the night passed smoothly, both Spot and Race enjoying their time together and agreeing to make it official and start dating. They drove back to Manhattan, making comfortable small talk in the car. Far too soon, in Race’s opinion, they arrived back at Race’s apartment complex.   
Spot pulled into a parking spot, meeting Race at the front of the car when they got out.   
“I really liked spending time with you tonight, Spot,” Race said shyly.   
“I did too,” Spot sighed, “I’m really glad I get to call you my boyfriend now.”   
Race laughed. He stared down at the shorter boy. He really wanted to kiss him, but was it too early? What if he ruined their relationship by kissing him on the first date? What if Spot didn’t like the kiss? What if-  
“I can practically see your brain running a mile a minute, Racer,” Spot teased.   
Race laughed, and out of a moment of pure confidence, smashed his lips against Spot’s. Spot quickly returned to the kiss, grasping onto the short curls on the nape of Race’s neck. They pulled away simultaneously, both breathing deeply.   
“That was nice, Spotty,” Race sighed.  
“Yeah, it was, Racer,” Spot smiled up at Race, “we should do it again sometime.”   
“That we should, but not right now,” Race sighed, “I still got a curfew since I ran away.”   
“Well, then I guess I’ll just have to see you more every day to make up for lost time at night,” Spot stated.   
Race giggled, “yeah I guess you will. Goodnight Spot.”  
“Goodnight Racer.”   
Race watched as his boyfriend climbed into his car and drove off, waving after him. Race laughed to himself. He hadn’t had a week as good as this in a long time, and he sure as hell missed it. Race practically skipped up to his apartment, a big smile on his face. He opened the door to his apartment, not prepared for what was coming.   
As soon as the door closed Race found himself violently shoved against the wall, his head snapping back and hitting the wall, making his vision blur.   
“You wanna tell me why I just saw you kissing another boy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is kinda short, I didn't have much time for writing today. Also, I don't really know how to write romance so I did my best.   
> I'm going to try to make this fic 2-3 more chapters, and then I'm probably going to make this into a series- let me know what you think!   
> Thank you for reading and please let me know if I missed any tags!
> 
> Also, kudos and comments are welcome, they make me smile :)


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!   
> It's a bit graphic at the start of this chapter, so if you don't vibe with that, I'd start after the first break (Katherine waited anxiously in her living room as she awaited her friends’ arrival.). Also, there is a homophobic slur in there but I censored it.   
> Hope you enjoy :)

“W-what?” Race sputtered, terrified.   
“Don’t play dumb, boy. I saw you in the parking lot,” Robert hissed.   
“I- I really don’t know w-what you’re t-talking about,” Race tried to lie.   
“I already thought you were a disappointment, but now you’re a f*g too?” Robert scoffed, “should’ve known.”   
“Just let me go,” Race pleaded, “I ain’t doing anything wrong.” That clearly wasn’t the correct thing to say, since it got Race a sharp slap on his cheek.   
“Every fucking thing you do is wrong. You’re a disgrace,” His father mocked, “and I’m gonna make sure you know it, boy.”   
“Please, dad. Ple-” Race started before receiving a punch to the gut. He let out a pained sound as he folded in on himself, but the next hit came too quick. Race toppled to the ground, already a bit disoriented. The hits came quickly, covering Race’s entire body. His arms were fruitless in their attempt to cover his head from further injury. Race was writhing in pain, he didn’t think he could keep in his cries for much longer. Every part of his body throbbed.   
The hits suddenly stopped. Race could hear his father shuffling away. He breathed a sigh of relief. He should’ve waited for said sigh, because soon his father was back, standing over Race with a bottle of liquor in his hand. Robert took a long gulp of the liquor before setting it on the counter. Robert was clearly already buzzed, and this liquor would just make matters worse for Race.   
Race couldn’t bring himself to look at his father, but when he heard his father pulling off his belt, Race quickly looked up, despite the pain it caused him to do so. Race shook his head lightly, unable to vocalize his fears. His father raised the belt in the air and sent it snapping down on Race’s already bruised body. Race let out a whimper he was unable to keep in, angering his father further. The belt came down faster, barely a second between the lashes. It flew through the air, hitting Race with a sickening sound.   
Robert had once again grabbed the bottle of liquor, opting to sip on it as he continued to inflict pain on his son. Race could no longer hold in his light cries. He could barely tell what his father was doing, he just knew he was in indescribable pain. The liquor bottle slipped out of Robert’s loose grip, smashing on the ground next to Race. Race was now covered in shards of glass and alcohol in addition to the blood that seemed to be flowing out of every single one of his appendages and the bruises that were certainly littering his body. Race was kicked in the side, causing him to roll over onto the remainder of the broken glass, including a few large pieces that managed to slice into Race’s side. Race cried out violently, resulting in another wave of anger from his father. Miraculously, Race went unconscious only a few minutes in, fading away from the pain. 

✧✧✧

Katherine waited anxiously in her living room as she awaited her friends’ arrival. She had texted them after finding out that no one had heard from Race in a day. The last one to see him was Spot, the previous night. She was quite close to a panic attack at the moment, but Sarah and Davey had arrived, running straight to the living room. Sarah engulfed her girlfriend in a gentle hug as Davey sat a comfortable distance away from the couple on the couch.   
Within ten minutes the rest of their friends had arrived, all confirming the lack of communication from Race. They were all clearly worried, given the last time Race didn’t talk to anyone he had disappeared for over two days. No one knew what to do. There was nothing they could do, not unless they knew where Race was, or what had happened.   
Spot sat quietly, still adjusting to being in the friend group. They had also, though reluctantly, informed Spot of Race’s situation. Spot was terrified now, and he rarely got scared.   
The group continued to sit in silence, the news playing in the background in hopes something about Race would come up. Nothing did. Everyone had turned their phones up to full volume in order to make sure no one missed it if a call or text came from Race. After another hour or so of waiting, a phone rang out with the sound of an incoming call.   
Katherine’s face lit up, “it’s Race,” she said before answering the phone and putting it on speaker for the group. Katherine started, “Tony? Hello?”   
“It’s Gabby,” the little girl’s voice wobbled as she spoke, “he needs help. I don’t know what to do.”   
“Is your dad home, Gabby?” Katherine asked quickly.   
“No… he left for poker night. He won’t be back for a few hours.”  
“Okay, Gabby. We’re on our way. Stay there and don’t touch Tony. You don’t want to accidentally make it worse,” Katherine explained softly as the group tightly piled into two cars.   
“Can you stay on the phone?” Gabby asked, “I’m scared.”   
“Of course I can. We’ll be there in ten minutes,” Katherine assured.   
“Is Tony going to die?” Gabby asked hesitantly, tears evident in her voice.   
“No, of course, he isn’t,” Katherine said, “he’s really strong Gabby. He’ll be fine,” Katherine sighed. Race could already be dead for all they knew. They could be driving to find their friend's corpse.   
Katherine looked out the window, “we’re almost there Gabby. Only a few more minutes.”  
“Okay,” Gabby sobbed through the phone.   
Katherine wanted nothing more than to engulf the young girl in a hug but instead attempted to make soothing noises through the phone. Sarah dangerously pulled into a parking place, jumping out of the car with Katherine, Spot, Jack, and Albert following her. They ran up to Race’s apartment.   
“Gabby we’re here. You need to let us in,” Katherine explained, the door opening in front of her after a few seconds.   
Gabby led the group to where Race’s limp body laid bloody and bruised on the ground.   
“Oh my god,” Jack exclaimed softly, grabbing onto the counter to steady himself.   
Spot quickly dropped onto his knees next to Race, gently reaching to take his pulse. He sighed in relief, “it’s there, but I can barely feel it. He needs help. Like hospital help. We need to call 911.”   
The group exchanged nervous glances, knowing that Race wouldn’t want them to do that. Spot sighed, “look, I know what Race may have told you in the past but-” Spot paused, covering Gabby’s ears gently, but effectively, “but Race is going to die if we don’t get him to a hospital soon.”   
All of them nodded. Albert wiped a tear from his cheek, “I’ll call.”   
Less than ten minutes later Race’s unconscious body was loaded into an ambulance on a stretcher. Katherine and Gabby rode with him, while the rest of the group followed in the cars. Race was whisked away immediately upon arriving at the hospital, leaving the group to anxiously sit in the waiting room. They all called their parents, informing them of the situation. Medda had insisted on coming to the hospital to wait for Race.   
While the group was waiting, a few police officers arrived, asking a few questions before leaving the teenagers alone. Most of them had tears streaming down their face, or constantly rubbing at their eyes to prevent tears from escaping. Medda arrived, bringing some food for the group, insisting that they had to eat, even if they didn’t feel like it.   
The nurses had limited answers for all of the group's questions, especially since Race’s guardianship was currently uncertain. Medda had insisted that the police be on the lookout for Robert, but so far no reports of him had surfaced.   
Katherine slid into the seat beside Spot. He looked up slightly, just barely acknowledging Katherine’s presence. She sighed, “I can tell something’s wrong, so what is it?”  
Spot shook his head, “it’s my fault, Katherine. We kissed in the parking lot. His dad probably saw it, and now Race might die because of me.”   
Katherine lightly put her hand on Spot’s arm, “it most certainly is not your fault, Spot. It is that… that bastard of a father’s fault. Not yours, not mine, not anyone but Robert’s fault.”  
“I just can’t help but think it’s my fault,” Spot murmured.   
“I think a lot of us feel like that, we all made decisions that helped lead to this. But when it comes down to it, Robert was the one to choose to hurt Race, not us,” Katherine explained.   
“Yeah… yeah, you’re right,” Spot sighed.   
He just hoped he would see Race once more, without any bruises or blood covering his beautiful face.   
He just wanted Race to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.   
> Um anyway... if you skipped Race basically gets the shit beat out of him really bad and goes unconscious. Kinda gets stabbed as well :/   
> Anywho, please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> Hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> Also, your comments are giving me life :)


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing really to say about this chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race awoke with a start, quickly looking around as his eyes adjusted to the bright white room. He blinked, trying to fix his vision. He looked to his side. Someone was talking to him, but he could barely hear them. All Race could hear was the sound of his own labored breathing.   
“Race!”  
Race snapped his head toward the voice, finally recognizing it as Medda’s. She slowly reached out to gently push Race back against the bed. That’s when Race saw Gabby, cowering in the corner. He had scared her. Race felt tears start to trail down his face, but he couldn’t say anything. There was a mask covering his nose and mouth, making it difficult for Race to move his mouth and speak. He blinked, his eyes feeling heavy. Race slowly drifted back out of consciousness, hearing the light cries of his sister as he disappeared. 

✧✧✧

Spot waited anxiously for Jack to get back from his phone call with Medda. The group had been forced by their parents and other guardians to go back home after Race hadn’t woken up by the third day. Obviously, no one wanted to do that, but they all realized that Race would be upset if he found out they had missed any school because of him. It was now Monday, and they were back at school. It had been five days since Race had been taken to the hospital, and he was yet to wake up.   
Jack quickly approached the lunch table, sitting back down in his seat beside Davey before starting, “Medda said he woke up,” after seeing the group's joyous faces, Jack quickly added, “only for a few minutes. But it’s still good, it means he’ll probably be alright.”   
“Did he say anything?” Katherine asked.   
“Not exactly,” Jack sighed, “Medda said he kinda shot up, like if he woke up from a nightmare or something. She doesn’t think he understood where he was, he kept looking around and blinking. He was only awake for a minute or so,” Jack trailed off.   
The teenagers exchanged looks with each other, before silently going back to their lunches. Most of them were not hungry, but Medda made each of them promise to eat their lunch every day, and no one wanted to break a promise with Medda. It was always weird when Race was gone, but it wasn’t for a reason like this. No one could joke around when their friend was potentially dying only twenty minutes away. So they all sat in silence, only talking when Jack or Crutchie had an update from Medda. 

✧✧✧

Race blinked awake, his head rolling to the side. Medda perked up at the movement, meeting Race’s eyes with a gentle smile. She whispered, “I’ll be right back, baby,” before swiftly leaving the room and returning with a nurse. Said nurse gently went around Race, quickly doing what was required of her before leaving. Medda stopped her before quickly murmuring something to the nurse, to which the nurse responded with a nod.   
Race watched as Medda gestured to her side. Gabby slowly melted into Medda’s hold as she guided the two of them back to the chair beside Race’s bed. Race watched as Medda pulled Gabby into her lap.   
Medda smiled softly at Race, “Hey, baby. I’m going to reach up and take that mask off so it’s easier to talk, okay?” After receiving a light nod from Race, she slowly reached up and gently removed the mask from Race’s face. Medda started to speak again, “how are you feeling, honey?”   
Race cleared his throat, “not so great,” he rasped out, “Is there water?”   
Medda nodded, filling up a small cup of water and handing it to Race. Once she noticed how much his hands were shaking, she helped him bring the cup to his lips.   
“Thank you,” Race mumbled, “how long was I asleep?”  
“A little over a week. It’s Friday now,” Medda explained.   
“What happened?” Race paused, “well I kinda know what happened, but how did I get here?”   
“I’m not sure about the details, but I do know that Gabby called Katherine, and then she and most of your friends found you at your apartment. They called 911 after that, and you were brought here.”   
“You were asleep for a day,” Gabby murmured.   
Race looked at his sister, tears were slowly cascading down her face. He shakily reached his hand out for her to take, “I’m sorry, Gabs. I’m here now.”  
Medda stood up, “it’s about lunchtime, I should call Jack so that your friends know you’re awake,” she paused, “the nurses are going to be back in here in a few minutes. They said you still should be on oxygen for now, but you don’t need the full mask.”   
Race nodded, watching Medda leave before he turned his attention back to his sister. She wouldn’t meet his eyes. Race started to tear up, he had scared her and he didn’t know what to do. He sighed, “Gabby. Can you look at me? Please?”   
Gabby raised her head, “I’m sorry. I don’t like looking at you when you’re hurt. It’s scary,” she croaked.  
“It’s okay to be scared, Gabby. I’m scared too. I don’t know what’s going to happen next,” Race explained, “Look, Gabs, we might get separated, but that doesn’t mean I love you any less. More people will want a sweet nine-year-old than they would want a fifteen-year-old with hundreds of problems.”   
Gabby whimpered, “so I won’t get to see you every day?”   
“I don’t know. But you have to promise me that if you find a family that really does want you, and loves you, you will stay with them. Even if I’m not with you,” Race said, “can you promise that?”   
“Yeah. I promise, Tony,” Gabby sniffed.  
“Good.”   
The siblings sat in comfortable silence until a nurse came in to help Race get situated. Race sighed. He was really tired, but he was afraid that if he fell asleep he wouldn’t wake up for another week. But his body betrayed him, and he drifted off into a comfortable slumber. 

✧✧✧

Spot saw Jack running to the lunch table, almost tripping on multiple occasions. He quickly slid into his seat next to Davey, his breathing labored. Jack smiled, “Racer’s awake. Actually awake this time.”   
The lunch table erupted into sounds of joy and happiness. They were all smiling, truly smiling. Spot looked at Jack, “can we see him?”   
“Yeah, Medda said we can all come after school. We can’t all be in the room to start, she said like three or four of us at a time, but we can see him,” Jack explained.  
Spot smiled to himself. It had been a week and a half since he had spoken to Race, and he wanted nothing more than to spend some time with his boyfriend. The remainder of school went by surprisingly fast, and Spot soon found himself in the back of Katherine’s car with Sarah, Jack, and Davey. They had agreed to take one car so that more people could get there at the same time. Sarah and Davey also offered for the other three and Albert to go in first. Albert, Crutchie, Specs, and Finch were in the other car right behind them.   
Once they arrived, they waited anxiously for Medda to come and lead them to Race’s room. Spot rocked back and forth on his feet as thoughts invaded his head. What if Race blamed him for what happened? What if Race wanted to break up? What if Race hated him?   
“I can see you panicking, Spot,” Katherine said, “it’ll be fine. I’m sure Race can’t wait to see you.”  
“Yeah, I’m sure you're right Katherine,” Spot snapped, immediately regretting his harsh tone. He turned to Katherine, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.”   
“It’s okay, Spot. You’re stressed, we all deal with that differently.”  
Spot nodded before he saw Medda walking toward the group. She gestured for them to follow her. She stopped right outside of Race’s room, turning to face the teenagers. She started, “Race is asleep,” she paused at the concerned looks on their faces, “not that, lovelies. He’s just exhausted. He’ll probably wake up soon, but I’m going to let you in so he can wake up with you in there. I’m sure it’ll be a pleasant surprise. I’m going to take Gabby to get some food, I’ll be back in half an hour or so. Be good.”   
Medda opened the door, allowing the four teens into the room. Spot looked at Race. Though taller than Spot, Race looked incredibly tiny in the hospital bed. It looked like every single part of Race was either bandaged or bruised, Spot could barely see his pale skin underneath it all. Race’s breathing was shallow and slightly uneven. His heart rate monitor beat steadily, allowing Spot and the rest of the world to know that Race was still alive. He was still hanging on. At least for now. 

✧✧✧

Race could hear muffled voices, likely trying to not wake him up. Whether or not that was what woke him was unclear, but now they were preventing him from falling back asleep. Race sluggishly opened his eyes, gazing up at three of his friends and his boyfriend. They hadn’t seemed to notice he was awake as they were still quietly arguing.   
“You’re being too loud, Spot,” Jack hissed, “you might wake him.”  
Race grumbled, “I ain’t sure who woke me, but I sure as hell am awake now.”  
All four heads shot towards Race, each with ridiculous smiles on their faces. They gathered around Race’s bed as Jack started, “how ya feelin’ Racer? We sure missed you.”   
“I’m alright, probably because of the pain meds I’m on, but better than hurtin’,” Race shrugged.   
Albert let out a breathy laugh, “I’m sure it is, we got most of the group here if you wanna see ‘em.”   
“Yeah, I’m kinda tired, so you can tell ‘em to come now or I might fall asleep again,” Race laughed, wincing at the painful movement.   
“Well, we’ll go get them, come on Jack and Albert,” Katherine specified.  
“But-” Jack quickly cut himself off as he received a glare from Katherine. Both he and Albert followed her out of the room.  
Race looked up at Spot, who seemed to want to look anywhere other than at Race. Race frowned, “Spot? Can you look at me?”   
Spot nodded, “yeah, yeah. Sorry.”   
“Are you alright?” Race asked quietly.   
Spot scoffed, “you’re sitting in a hospital bed, every bit of you broken or bruised, and you’re asking me if I’m okay?”   
“Yes, I am,” Race stated.   
“I mean,” Spot paused, running a hand through his hair, “I guess so. I don’t like seein’ you here, all hurt and whatever. It’s… um… it’s scary,” A tear escaped Spot’s eye, which he quickly wiped away, “I just feel like it’s my fault that you're here and then I feel like a dick for feeling like it's my fault because I’m making it all about me and that-”  
“Spot,” Race interrupted, “It’s okay. It’s okay to be scared and it’s okay to feel like it’s your fault, even though it’s not. You were the last person to see me, so of course you feel guilty.”  
“I just assumed he hurt you because of the kiss,” Spot mumbled.   
“He did,” Race answered, “but I initiated it. He wouldn’t have gotten that mad if I hadn’t initiated it, or if I had quickly pulled away. He got mad because he’s a homophobic asshole who saw his gay son kiss another man.”   
Spot sighed, “I’m still sorry.”  
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”  
“Doesn’t make me less sorry.”  
“But there’s literally no reason to be sorry.”   
“I’m going to be sorry if I want to.”  
“Oh just get that stick out of your ass and kiss me, Spot!” Race exclaimed. He was quickly met with Spot’s gentle lips on his own. It wasn’t quite as physically passionate as the last one, but it far surpassed the emotional passion from the previous kiss. Spot slowly pulled away, looking down at Race.   
For the first time in his life, Race was content. He couldn’t honestly say he was truly happy, but he actually believed he might be able to get there. Someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know I basically brushed past the fact that he was stabbed- it will return. Also, this is unrelated, but it took me five tries to spell 'Spot' at one point. I'm one of those gays that can't spell AND can't do math. I also spelled 'spell' wrong while writing the last sentence.   
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!   
> I love reading any and all comments you read :)  
> Hope you enjoyed :)


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing really to say about this chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race was tired of being stuck in the hospital. Apparently being asleep for eight days would make doctors a bit worried. Race just wanted to go… somewhere. He couldn’t exactly go home, but he felt suffocated being stuck in bed the whole day. Race just wanted to leave. He had been awake for two days, shouldn’t that be enough time to be able to figure out if he was gonna die or not?   
Race just sat watching tv that he barely paid attention to all day. He was bored out of his mind. Race looked up as he heard a knock on the door, shouting a weak “come in” before Medda walked in with a man behind her.   
“Hey, baby. Can we talk for a second?” Medda asked as she and the man pulled up two chairs next to Race’s bed. Once Race nodded, Medda started, “This is Bryan Denton, your social worker.”   
“Hello, Race. I’m told that’s what you prefer to be called, is that correct?” Denton asked.   
“Yes, sir,” Race responded.   
“Bryan is just fine, Race,” Denton said.   
“Right, sorry, s- Bryan,” Race fumbled.   
“It’s okay, Race,” Denton assured, “I’m here to talk about placement with a foster family.”  
“Before you start panicking, Race, I intend to take both you and Gabby in, I just need to get my license renewed,” Medda explained, “Gabby is being placed into a good group home for now, and we’ll be finding one for you.”   
“But I thought Gabby was staying with you,” Race said quickly.   
“She was, but I don’t have my license renewed because I adopted Jack and Charlie. I couldn’t keep her any longer, I’m sorry,” Medda clarified.   
“How long will it take for you to renew it?” Race asked.  
“Only a week or two, baby. After that you two will come live with me, okay?” Medda assured.   
“Okay,” Race sighed, “do you know when I’m getting out of here?”   
“They want to keep you for a couple of days, then you can leave,” Medda explained, “they said your stab wound isn’t healing right, that is their main concern right now.”   
Race looked confused for a second, “Then why are sending me h- away?”   
This time Denton spoke up, “the stab wound is the only thing they are concerned about, but they think that you are well enough to leave, as long as you don’t overexert yourself. If you do overexert yourself you could end up making your injuries worse.”   
Medda nodded before adding, “and try not to get into any fights when you go back to school,” when Race started to object Medda clarified, “I know it’s not usually your fault, sweetie, but just try to avoid them.”   
Race grumbled, “okay, Ms. Medda.”   
“Just Medda, dear,” Medda said.  
Denton stood slowly, “Alright, Race. If there’s nothing else you want to know today, I should get going. I’ll be back to take you to your group home in a few days.”   
“Okay, thank you, s- Bryan,” Race said.   
“I’ll see you later, kid,” Denton said before leaving the room.   
Race leaned back into his pillow. Normally he would be all for meeting new people, but Race just wanted to go home, before his life was more complicated. Before he was stupid enough to kiss Spot in the parking lot. Before he ran away. He just wanted things to be normal again. 

✧✧✧

Two days later, Race was back in regular clothes, waiting alone for Denton to pick him up. They had to meet with Race’s school counselor and principal to discuss… something that Race didn’t remember because he wasn’t paying attention. Then he would be dropped off at the group home run by Todd Kloppman. Race was not looking forward to the day.   
A knock sounded on the door, and Race slowly hobbled out of the room. His legs were relatively okay from his father’s onslaught since Race’s torso and head took the brunt of the attack, but it still hurt for Race to walk.   
“You ready to go, Race?” Denton asked, slowly grabbing Race’s small bag of items from him.   
“Yeah,” Race mumbled. He followed Denton to his car, silently getting into the passenger seat beside him. The rest of the car ride was quiet, Denton only starting small talk a few times before figuring Race didn’t really want to talk. Which was correct.   
Denton pulled into the visitor parking at Race’s school and got out of the car, gesturing for Race to do the same. Reluctantly, Race followed Denton inside the school and into the main office. They waited a few minutes before they went back into the principal’s office, where Principal Roosevelt and Mrs. Jones were waiting.   
“Anthony, it’s nice to see you,” Principal Roosevelt said kindly before turning to Denton, “I assume you are Bryan Denton?”   
“Yes, Mr. Roosevelt. I’m Race’s social worker,” Denton responded.   
“I’m Mrs. Jones, Anthony’s guidance counselor,” Mrs. Jones introduced.   
“Shall we get started?” Denton asked, sitting down and gesturing for Race to sit beside him.   
“Yes, of course,” Mr. Roosevelt said.   
“Well, I’m here to temporarily change Race’s address and to discuss what he will need for the next few weeks or so to adjust in his day to day life,” Denton explained, “I’ve already sent you the information for the group home Race will be staying in for the next week or so.”   
“Is there anything we can do to make it easier for Anthony to come back to school?” Mrs. Jones asked.   
Denton looked at Race, who just shrugged in response. Denton sighed, “He can’t do PE for at least a few months, so he needs to be exempt from that. I’ve also heard that he has some… trouble with a few kids at that school, so I would try to keep them separated when possible. It might take Race a bit longer to get to his classes safely, so his teachers need to be aware of that and they should not count him tardy.”   
“Is that all?” Mr. Roosevelt inquired.   
“Unless Race can think of anything, I think that is it,” Denton looked expectantly at Race.   
Race sighed, “no that’s good. Thank you.”   
“Well, we are happy you’re back, Anthony. Don’t hesitate to talk to me or Mrs. Jones if you need anything,” Mr. Roosevelt smiled.   
Race nodded, “thank you, sir.” Race followed Denton out of the office, pausing to quietly ask, “it’s lunch hour, do you think I could say hi to my friends?”  
“Of course, Race,” Denton smiled, “We don't have a lot of time and I have to follow you since the system thinks you’re at risk for running since you ran away before.”   
“It’s fine, I understand,” Race said as he walked toward the lunchroom. He smiled as he spotted his group of friends and quickly headed to the table. No one noticed him coming, so he quietly slid into his seat next to Spot. Race smirked to himself before saying, “what’re y’all talking about?”   
All heads shot towards him, smiles spreading across their faces. Spot turned to Race and engulfed him in a careful hug as he said, “I thought you weren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow?”   
“I’m not, just had some things to take care of before I go to my group home,” Race looked back at Denton, who tapped his wrist, “speaking of my group home, I have to get going. Bryan doesn’t have all day. I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Race said as he stood up, receiving goodbyes from the table. Race headed back toward Denton and followed him outside.   
Denton looked down at Race, “Was that your boyfriend?”   
Race sputtered, “I- wha- yes?”   
Denton nodded, “He looks nice.”   
“He is,” Race confirmed, before adding, “to me at least.”   
“That’s good.”   
They drove to the group home in silence, which Race was surprisingly comfortable with. He was starting to like Denton, he seemed pretty nice. They arrived at the group home only ten minutes later. Race was hesitant to get out but followed Denton despite himself. The door opened revealing a smiling older man, who Race assumed was Todd Kloppman.   
“Hello, I’m Mr. Kloppman, I run this group home,” the man introduced himself.   
“I’m Anthony,” Race said.   
“Is there anything you’d prefer to be called?” Kloppman asked.   
“Uh, yeah… um Race,” Race answered awkwardly, “if that’s alright, sir.”   
“Of course it is, Race,” Kloppman said, “and there is no need to call me ‘sir’. It makes me feel old.”   
“Oh, yeah. Sorry,” Race apologized.   
“Perfectly fine. Why don’t you two follow me?” Kloppman gestured inside.  
Race followed Kloppman upstairs and into a room with two sets of bunk beds and four small dressers. Race glanced around the room. It definitely was nicer than his bedroom back home. Race shook his head, he was mad at himself for even considering that place home. He had almost died there.   
Kloppman gestured to a bottom bunk on the right of the room, “this is your bed and this dresser is yours,” he gestured to the one at the head of the bed, “you can put your stuff away after the tour.”   
“Okay,” Race said quietly, glancing at his backpack that only had a few items of clothing in it.   
Kloppman seemed to notice Race eyeing his bag because he said, “we can go grab you some more clothes this afternoon before the other boys get home, alright?” After receiving a nod from Race, Kloppman continued as he walked through the house, “this is one of the bathrooms, the one you’ll use. We have a shower schedule, which we’ll work you into tonight after dinner,” Kloppman walked downstairs with Race and Denton following, “this is our main room, sort of like our living room. Here is our dining room, I try to have all the boys eat together each night. Through here is the kitchen, some boys help make dinner or clean up after. Usually, we would have the newer kids help, but I’m going to skip on that one because of your injuries-”   
“I can cook,” Race interrupted before quickly apologizing, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.”   
“It’s okay,” Kloppman assured, “do you like to cook?”   
“Yes, I know some of my mama’s recipes by heart. I would make them for my sister and me when my dad wasn’t home,” Race explained shyly.   
“Well I’m sure the boys would love to try some new food, do you want to try cooking tonight?” Kloppman asked.   
“Yeah… yeah, I would like that,” Race said.   
“Excellent, since we have a few hours before the boys get home, would you like to go to the store for some clothes and whatever ingredients you need,” Kloppman turned to Denton, “do we need to do anything else before you leave?”   
“Nope, everything you need to know about Race is in his file. I should be good to head out,” Denton answered, “I’ll be back in a week or so to take you to Ms. Medda’s, okay Race?”   
“Okay,” Race nodded, “thank you, Bryan.”   
“Of course,” Denton answered. Race watched as Denton left, feeling extremely awkward and nervous now that he was alone with a random man he barely knew.   
“Alright, kid,” Kloppman sighed, “you want to get going?”   
“Um, sure,” Race responded, following Kloppman outside and to the large van for the group home. He slowly got into the passenger seat. Race was started to make mental notes of activities that hurt more than the usual amount, some of which were getting in and out of cars, going up stairs, and sitting down and standing back up.   
Kloppman started the car and backed out of the driveway before starting a conversation with Race, “So, Race, tell me a bit about yourself.”   
“Okay,” Race thought for a bit, “well I have a little sister, her name is Gabby and she’s nine. My mama died when I was about seven. She was Italian and taught me how to cook. She was actually born in southern Italy, but she had blond hair and blue eyes so she didn’t look like your stereotypical Italian. Gabby and I look like her. I also have always loved to dance, but my dad never let me take lessons because he said that would make me gay. I mean I am gay, but it’s definitely not because I like dance…” Race trailed off, “sorry I tend to ramble sometimes.”   
Kloppman laughed, “that’s perfectly fine Race. I just want to get to know you a bit better. So will we be having Italian for dinner tonight?”   
“Uh yeah, I was hoping to make some pasta or something I guess,” Race said.   
“Sounds like a plan, just tell me what you need,” Kloppman offered.   
“O- okay,” Race stuttered.   
“Is something wrong?”   
Race looked at his lap, “No, I just- no one has really done that before. My dad just sorta half-assed his way through parenting.”   
“Well there is no half-assing in my house, Race,” Kloppman assured, “I may not know you that well, but I care about you. I care about all the boys. When you walk into that door for the first time, you become my family. Got it?”   
“Yeah, I got it,” Race smiled at the man, “thank you.”   
“There’s no need to thank me for something you should have experienced your whole life. Can I speak honestly here Race?” after receiving an eager nod from Race, Kloppman continued, “when I saw your case file, I was shocked. I’ve seen some bad cases of abuse, but in my experience, I’ve never had to take a break from reading a file before. I’m so sorry that you’ve been through so much, and I’m sure that hasn’t even covered half of it. I just want you to know you’re safe here.”   
Race nodded, “I can’t say I fully feel safe, Mr. Kloppman, cause that would be a lie. It’s not anything you’ve done, I’m just scared. It’s hard for me to trust.”   
“I understand, Race, and I am in no way offended, okay?” Kloppman said.   
“Okay, thank you, Mr. Kloppman,” Race said. Race still didn’t want to be at the group home, but so far it was quite the upgrade from his shitty apartment with his father, aside from the fact that Gabby wasn't there.   
Although Race wasn’t totally uncomfortable, he definitely felt like he could get through the next week or so, as long as nothing crazy happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make him go to a group home with Snyder, but I needed some happiness for Race. I think I'm going to try to make this fic a comfy 15 chapters, so it should be done in a few days or so.   
> Anywho, please let me know if I missed any tags!   
> I hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> I love y'all's comments :)


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing really to say about this chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race was in the kitchen preparing food for dinner with Kloppman. He had learned a bit about the other boys but was really anxious to meet them. Kloppman had said they would start getting back any minute now and the thought of living with seven other boys that Race didn’t know at all was starting to scare him.  
Race jumped at the sound of the front door flying open followed by shouts. Kloppman seemed to sense how uncomfortable Race was as he leaned over and said, “I’m sorry about that, they can get a little loud sometimes.”  
“It’s okay,” Race hesitated, “I… I just don’t like sudden noises. Bad stuff usually followed.”  
“I got it,” Kloppman smiled, “how about I go to the main room so that I can help corral the boys. Are you okay in the kitchen on your own for a bit?”  
Race gulped, “yeah, just about ten or so minutes before everything will be prepared and then we can wait until closer to dinnertime to start the actual cooking.”  
“Great, I’m looking forward to it,” Kloppman said before retreating from the kitchen and into the main room.  
Race sighed, his heart still beating a bit too fast from the door opening and slamming against the wall. He took several deep breaths, but an overwhelming sense of dread began to encompass him. Race quickly put the utensils he was holding onto the counter, before backing into a wall. All he could hear was the sound of his heartbeat and his labored breaths. Race squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the tears start to trail down his face. His chest was seizing as he tried to get enough breath to attempt to calm himself. Race slid down the wall, curling into himself despite the pain that surged through his torso when he did so. It felt like it had been an hour since he had taken an actual breath of air. Race felt like he was suffocating as he continued to gasp for air against his body’s protests.  
“Race?”  
Race glanced up, he could see Kloppman, though he was extremely blurry. Race tried to say something, but all that came out was a light sob.  
“Okay kid, can you hear me?” Kloppman asked. Once he received a nod from Race he continued, “alright, close your eyes and just try to keep taking deep breaths. Focus on my voice, alright? Don’t listen to anything but my voice. I’m right here, you’re safe. No one is going to hurt you, Race. Everything is going to be okay, just keep taking deep breaths,” Kloppman smiled as Race began to calm, “yes, just like that. You’re doing great.”  
Soon Race’s panic attack subsided and he slowly opened his eyes to look up at Kloppman, “I’m sorry,” Race croaked out.  
“Nothing to be sorry about, kid. Panic attacks happen,” Kloppman assured, “is dinner done enough that you wait an hour or so to start again?”  
“Yeah,” Race sniffed.  
“How about we go upstairs and you can rinse off your face?” Kloppman asked. After Race nodded, Kloppman helped him to his feet and up the stairs. He waited patiently as Race rinsed off his face in the bathroom.  
Race walked out of the bathroom and was greeted with Kloppman’s gentle smile. Race followed Kloppman down the stairs and into the dining room.  
Kloppman turned to Race, “do you think you could meet the boys now?”  
Race nodded and followed Kloppman into the living room, where seven boys were talking quietly with each other. They quickly noticed Race and Kloppman and ceased their conversations, waiting for one of them to start talking.  
Kloppman looked at Race, who seemed less than welcome to introduce himself at the moment. He gently led Race to a seat on one of the couches that he deemed far enough from the other boys before starting, “boys, this is Race. He will be staying with us for a week or so,” Kloppman paused in case Race wanted to add anything before continuing, “Race, this is Mike and Ike, they’re twins, next to them is Henry. This is Mush, Elmer, and JoJo, you’re staying in the same room as them. Last but not least is Buttons,” each of the boys waved when their names were called, but Race was already forgetting their names.  
“As long as it’s alright with you, Race, the boys usually ask new kids some questions,” Kloppman said, “but you don’t have to answer a question if you’re uncomfortable with it.”  
Race sighed, “yeah, that’s fine.”  
Elmer spoke up first, “Where are you from?”  
“I’m from ‘Hattan, just about half an hour from here,” Race answered simply.  
“You got any siblings?” Mike asked.  
“Yeah I got a little sister, Gabby,” Race responded. The group continued to ask Race simple questions until Mush spoke up.  
“Why’re you in foster care?”  
Race cringed internally, he really had no reason to hide it anymore so he spilled, “My dad wasn’t the best father. Always kinda hit me around, even when my mama was still alive. Got worse after she died. Went too far a couple of weeks ago, almost killed me for kissin’ another boy. Some of my friends found me after my sister called ‘em and I went to the hospital. I was in a coma for a little over a week.”  
“Damn,” Buttons said, “that’s rough.”  
Race shrugged, “I guess. They still ain’t found him, my dad. He’s on the run.”  
“Ain’t you scared of him coming after ya?” Ike asked.  
“I guess, but as long as he’s comin’ after me, my sister is safe,” Race replied.  
“Where is your sister anyway?” JoJo inquired.  
“At another group home in the area,” Race said, “They didn’t tell me cause they think I’ll bolt and take her with me.”  
“Why would they think that?” Henry asked.  
Race sighed, “I ran like a month ago. Was gone for almost four days and they still think I’m at risk because of it. Not that I could really get far with broken ribs and a stab wound.”  
“You got stabbed?” Elmer exclaimed, the other boys matching his surprise.  
“Yeah, my old man threw a bottle at me and it broke. Then he kicked me into it and I rolled over and got stabbed by some broken glass,” Race explained.  
“You’re surprisingly calm about this,” JoJo said.  
“I barely remember it, so it doesn’t bring back as many bad memories when I think about it,” Race shrugged, “some things make me panic, though.”  
Kloppman broke into the conversation at this moment, “speaking of that, you boys need to be a bit better about slamming doors and other sudden noises, okay?” After receiving nods from all the boys, Kloppman turned to Race, “Do you want to continue dinner now?”  
“He got stabbed and you're making him cook?” Elmer asked, clearly confused.  
“Oh, no, I offered. I like to cook,” Race said, “I could use a little help, though.”  
Kloppman nodded, “Elmer, JoJo, why don’t you help Race?”  
The two boys followed Race into the kitchen, where he instructed them on how to help him make dinner. The boys within an hour and began setting the table. As Race sat down at the table, he realized he couldn’t remember the last time he had a family type meal. Probably not since his mother was alive. Race savored the feeling, hoping that he wouldn’t have to go so long without again. 

✧✧✧

Race was laying on his bunk bed, unable to sleep. The entire house was quiet, save from the sound of snoring coming from Elmer above him. Race had always had trouble sleeping in new places, despite most being better than his thin mattress back home. There was just something different about sleeping in a place you weren’t familiar with. He didn’t exactly feel safe at his apartment, his father had dragged him out of bed enough times to ensure that. However, he still had Gabby.  
Race wished he could just run and get her, but he couldn’t do that for multiple reasons. First off, he didn’t even know where she was, and second, he definitely would get in trouble for running away again. Instead, Race grabbed his phone and quietly went downstairs and into the living room. He sat on the couch and called the only person he could talk to at the movement. After a few rings, a voice groggily answered.  
“Race?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was kind of a filler, but I've decided to make this a series because I have a lot of different ideas for this. I also might start a canon era fic but I'm still debating on that one.  
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> I hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> I love reading your comments, and kudos make the heart happy :)


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing really to say about this chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race sighed, “Hey, I’m sorry I woke you.”  
Spot sniffed, “no, you... uh, didn’t wake me.”  
Race laughed quietly, “I can tell you’re lying, you still sound half asleep.”  
“Well then, it’s fine,” Spot paused, “what did you need?”  
“I just… I don’t know. I couldn’t sleep and everyone is so nice here and that somehow makes me uncomfortable. I also had a panic attack today in the kitchen and I think they know but none of them brought it up,” Race sighed, he could feel his eyes burning, “It’s just weird. Everything feels weird.”  
Spot cleared his throat, “Well, I can’t say I know what you’re going through, because I don’t. But it sounds like you're safe, and you’ll still have me and all our friends at school. As long as you don’t… you didn’t bolt did you?”  
“No… I wanted to just so I could see Gabby but they won’t tell me where she is,” Race confessed.  
“I hate to say this, but that’s probably for the best, Race,” Spot said quietly.  
Race sighed, “yeah, yeah, I know, but it still sucks. It’s even worse cause I know that they did the right thing. I would’ve bolted by now if I knew where she was.”  
“You only have a week or so until you get to go to Medda’s with her, okay?” Spot assured, “pretend you guys are at camp or something.”  
“You honestly think my father ever sent us to summer camp?” Race lightly joked.  
“I mean… probably not, but everyone knows what summer camp is so I still say what I said was valid,” Spot defended.  
“Fair,” Race sighed, “I should probably be getting back upstairs before they actually think I ran. Goodnight Spotty.”  
“Goodnight Race,” Spot said, “and don’t call me that.”  
Race smirked as he hung up. Spot was definitely one of the only good things that happened to Race this year. Which ended up making him sad. Race couldn’t even think of another actually fully good thing that happened. He was snapped out of his self-pity when he heard someone practically running down the stairs.  
“You woke up and he was just gone?” Race heard Kloppman ask. Race's eyes widened, he was in for it now.  
“Yeah, but the only thing missing is his phone,” Race heard someone, JoJo probably, respond, “I didn’t see if he was anywhere else though, I thought I should wake you first.”  
“Good, you did the right thing, JoJo,” Kloppman walked into the living room and turned on a lamp, dimly revealing Race curled up in the corner of the couch.  
Race was shaking. This was it, he had officially fucked his life up all over again, just when things were starting to get better. He curled in on himself even more before he started frantically apologizing, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- I didn’t- I w-was just c-calling, I didn’t mean t-to worry you.”  
Kloppman quickly made his way to Race, which just made Race panic even more. Kloppman cursed under his breath, “I’m sorry, Race, I shouldn’t have approached you that fast. You’re not in trouble, kid. We just didn’t know where you were for a minute there, it’s all okay now.”  
Race looked up, tears staining his cheek, “b-but I did something that I wasn’t supposed t-to. Dad always l-locked me in the c-closet when I didn’t listen.”  
JoJo sucked in a breath, causing Race to turn his attention to him. JoJo slowly approached Race, kneeling next to the couch once he got close enough, “Mr. Kloppman doesn’t do that here, you’re safe now Race.”  
Race nodded slowly, loosening a bit from the tight ball he had crumpled himself in. He was suddenly very tired. Race took a deep breath and started, “um, I’m sorry. Can I go to b-bed?”  
Kloppman sighed, “Yes, but I think we might need to have a small talk tomorrow, alright Race? Just to make sure you’re okay.”  
Race nodded. He followed Kloppman and JoJo back upstairs before collapsing on his bed and falling asleep only a few minutes later. 

✧✧✧

Race nervously adjusted his backpack as he walked toward the school with the other boys. JoJo had apologized for making Race upset the previous night, which Race brushed off by telling him it wasn’t his fault. Race had actually found out that JoJo and Elmer were in some of his classes, but they somehow didn’t run in the same crowd. Race then discovered that meant that JoJo and Elmer didn’t have any friends except for each other, so Race invited them to sit with his friends at lunch, which they graciously accepted.  
Race was already expecting questions to arise after he had been absent from school for nearly three weeks. His friends had informed him of all the rumors swarming from Race running away to him going to Juvie. There was also a weird one about how Race had found out he had fathered a child and went to live with the mother and his newborn. That one was the most ridiculous because Race was pretty damn gay but to each their own.  
Race made his way through the halls, attempting to ignore the whispers that seemed to follow him after every turn. He went to his English class as fast he could, which granted was not very fast. He didn’t even bother to drop any of his stuff in his locker. Race was extremely grateful that Ms. George always let him stay in her classroom before class, no questions asked. Only a few minutes later Katherine walked into the classroom, quickly making her way towards where Race was sitting in the back of the room.  
He glanced up at her, “Hey, Kat.”  
“Hey, Tony,” she said as she slid into the seat beside him, “Are you doing okay?”  
“I guess,” Race sighed, “I feel like I can hear everyone talking about me. Like everywhere I go people are whispering and glancing at me.”  
“Well if anyone gives you any shit, I’ll beat their ass,” Spot said as he approached Race and Katherine. After receiving a glare from Katherine he added, “respectfully, of course.”  
Race laughed, “My knight in shining armor.”  
“Don’t knights have a minimum height requirement?” Katherine joked, “you probably have to be at least five feet, right?”  
“Haha, very funny, Katherine,” Spot deadpanned.  
“I thought it was funny,” Katherine retorted, “I guess you just couldn’t reach the joke.”  
Race snorted, “okay, let’s just leave it at that, I need you guys to like each other.”  
“Fine,” Spot said, “But only for you, Race.”  
“Simp,” Katherine muttered.  
“Pardon me, Katherine, but I didn’t quite hear what you said, would you mind repeating it?” Spot said with mock anger.  
“What? I didn’t say anything, dear friend,” Katherine smirked, “might want to get your ears checked.”  
The banter stopped suddenly as more people started to flood into the classroom. Many sneaking not so secret glances at Race. He huffed, sliding down further in his chair before quickly sliding back up because it hurt to sit anyway except regularly. Which was a problem because Race could rarely sit in a chair how he was supposed to.  
Race looked up as he heard someone approach him. That someone just happened to be Oscar Delancey. Great.  
“I heard you went to Juvie, Race,” Oscar berated, “sounds rough, what’d you do?”  
“I didn’t go to Juvie, Oscar,” Race scowled, “mind your own fuckin’ business.”  
“Don’t mind if I do, wouldn’t want to be caught up with a criminal anyway,” Oscar said before turning to take his seat at the front of the classroom.  
Race heard Spot huff angrily beside him. Race put a hand on Spot’s arm, silently urging him to let it go. He felt Spot shift slightly, settling angrily into his seat. Race turned to him, “I know you wanna go punch him in the face, but please restrain yourself for a few weeks, love.”  
“Yeah, I got it,” Spot muttered, “I just don’t like it.”  
“Neither do I, but I don’t wanna get in any more trouble,” Race said. The conversation was left at that as Ms. George started class. 

✧✧✧

Race leaned against the side of the school building, waiting for JoJo and Elmer to come out so that they could head back to the group home. Most students had already left, aside from a few stragglers, but Elmer and JoJo had to finish up a presentation in their speech class and were staying after for another half hour. It had only been about 15 minutes and Race was beyond bored.  
After another five minutes, he heard the main doors open and a pair of footsteps approach him. Race opened his eyes, only to be met with the Delancey brothers instead of Elmer and JoJo. Race scoffed, “what? Ya’ here to hit a guy while he’s down?”  
Morris smirked, “Seems like it would make it easier on us, Anthony.”  
“Don’t call me that,” Race growled.  
“Why not, Tony? Ain’t it your name?” Oscar said.  
“You ain’t allowed to call me it,” Race hissed.  
“Well, then what’re we supposed to call you? F*g?” Oscar mocked, shoving Race back into the wall.  
“Just leave me alone,” Race said, attempting to prevent this altercation from turning into a full-on fight. Unfortunately, the Delancey brothers did not have the same idea as Race’s jaw was soon surging in pain.  
The Delancey’s threw more punches, one, unfortunately, landing on Race’s still-healing stab wound and breaking open the stitches.  
Oscar looked panicked once he noticed blood seeping through Race’s shirt, “shit! Morris, stop!”  
“Why?” Morris asked before he spotted the steadily growing bloodstain, “fuck, let’s get outta here.”  
Race watched as the Delancey’s quickly retreated. Race had dropped his phone during the struggle and kept trying to pat around to find it. The pain was unbearable and caused his vision to blur. Race, at last, found his phone, clutching it close to his chest as he half haphazardly made his way to lean against the wall of the school.  
He quickly found Elmer’s contact and called him. Elmer picked up after the third ring, “Race? We’re almost done we-”  
“Bleedin’,” Race muttered into the phone, “I’m bleedin’.”  
“What? Where are you?” Elmer asked frantically.  
“Outside… on the side of the building,” Race felt really tired, “I’m tired… might take a nap.”  
“No!” Elmer shouted, “no, keep your eyes open, Race. We’re coming.”  
“Hurry up, it hurts,” Race mumbled.  
“Race?” This time the shout came from JoJo. He rounded the corner, immediately spotting Race, “shit! Elmer, it’s bad. I think we need to call 911.”  
“I’m on it,” Elmer responded, pacing a few feet away from Race as he made the call. Once the call was in he said, “I’m going to go find Mr. Roosevelt. Stay with Race.”  
Race watched as Elmer ran back into the building before his eyes slipped shut. He could hear JoJo begging him to stay awake and the distant sound of sirens, but he couldn't keep them open any longer. So he drifted away from the pain and into unconsciousness. 

✧✧✧

Race woke up to a steady beating and the sound of quiet voices. He slowly opened his eyes, groaning when he realized he once again was in the hospital. It had barely even been a day since he had gotten out.  
The groan caught the attention of Kloppman as he soon appeared by Race’s side, “Hey, kid. How’re you feeling?”  
“Like I just got stabbed,” Race mumbled, “again.”  
“I’d imagine,” Kloppman said, “You don’t have to stay here overnight or anything, likely another hour or so and they’ll discharge you. But you are staying home from school tomorrow.”  
“Makes sense,” Race said, “what happened?”  
“We were hoping you could tell us the full story, but something broke your stitches and you began bleeding out. You passed out due to blood loss,” Kloppman explained.  
“Delancey,” Race said.  
“What?” Kloppman asked.  
“One of the Delancey brothers hit me there,” Race clarified, “I assume you can see the bruises on my face?”  
“Well, yes, but they weren’t that bad so I didn’t think much of it,” Kloppman said.  
“Yeah, they only got a few good hits in before they saw the blood and bolted,” Race explained.  
Kloppman nodded, “thanks for telling me, Race. We should be out of here in an hour or so.”  
“Do you have my phone? I should text my friends,” Race asked. Kloppman handed him the phone, before leaving the room for a reason Race wasn’t really listening to. Race opened the group chat and typed a simple ‘won’t be at school tomorrow sorta reopened by stab wound lol’. Race kind of regretted adding the ‘lol’ but whatever. He already sent it so there was nothing he could do about it now.  
As expected, Race’s friends were rightfully worried, but he just sent something along the lines of ‘I don’t want to talk about it right now’ and left it at that. He just wanted to leave the hospital and get some food. Race was really hungry. He had skipped meals before, but usually, he didn’t lose any blood right after.  
Race looked up as Kloppman quietly entered the room with Elmer and JoJo in tow. Kloppman sighed, “the doctors are discharging you in about half an hour. We have to pick up some meds on the way back. Do you want to get something to eat on your way home?”  
“Uh, McDonald’s?” Race asked.  
Kloppman shook his head, laughing, “I should’ve known. I’ll ask the boys what they want.”  
Race nodded, leaning back into his pillow. He might’ve just ended up in the hospital again, but Race finally felt like his life was looking up. He still had hundreds of problems, but he could feel them slowly fading away and leaving room for happiness. True happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized Race passes out a lot in this fic. Oops. Anyway, we're gonna wrap it up next chapter. Other than that nothing to say really.  
> Let me know if I missed any tags!  
> Hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> I love reading y'all's comments :)


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Remember that one time when I said this was going to be the last chapter? I lied. I was in denial. I thought I could end it. I can't yet. So this is not the last chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race sat in the passenger seat of Denton’s car, his leg bouncing up and down uncontrollably. He had spent almost two weeks in the group home, and although he would miss the boys and Kloppman, Race was beyond excited to see Gabby again. They had only gotten a few monitored phone calls since they had been separated at the hospital, and Race was just ready to finally be with his family again.  
Denton glanced over at Race, noticing his bouncing leg, “You excited, kid?”  
Race nodded, “Yeah, but I also forgot to take my meds this morning for my ADHD and I just remembered, maybe I should take it now.”  
Denton laughed, “yeah, maybe. We’ll be there in about ten minutes, okay.”  
“Okay,” Race said.  
Race was, granted, a little nervous. Medda’s apartment was pretty big because of her days as a movie star before she adopted Jack and Crutchie. Race just hoped he and Gabby wouldn’t end up in the tabloids like Jack and Crutchie did all those years ago. Medda was still decently well known as she owned a theatre on Broadway and ended up in the news once or twice a year.  
Soon, Race realized that they were pulling into the parking garage beneath the apartments and his nerves spiked again. What if he fucked up living with Medda too? What if he was such a problem that she got rid of him? Would she keep Gabby? Race shook his head. He was being ridiculous. Medda had always been kind to him, even when he showed up at her apartment at two in the morning.  
Race followed Denton upstairs, gripping his small backpack of all his belongings tightly. The elevator ride up to the Larkin apartment was quiet, which Race preferred. When things were quiet nothing bad usually followed. As long as he didn’t screw anything up.  
They stopped in front of the door of the place Race would soon call home. Race looked up at Denton, “can you knock?”  
Denton looked down at Race, “Is something wrong?”  
“No, nothing’s wrong I’m just kinda nervous,” Race said, “Sorry.”  
“Nothing to be sorry about, kid,” Denton assured before knocking on the door.  
Race waited nervously as he heard Medda walking before she opened the door. She smiled gently, opening her arms wide for Race to fall into. She rocked him slightly, mumbling, “Welcome home, baby.”  
“Thank you Ms. Medda,” Race said, pulling away from the hug.  
“Of course, honey. The boys wanted to throw you a party, but I didn’t think you’d want one today, so it’s scheduled for tomorrow,” Medda explained, guiding Race and Denton further into the apartment.  
“Yeah, that’s good. I don’t think I could have a party today,” Race sighed, “is Gabby here yet?”  
“She’s on her way,” Medda shook her head, “I still think it’s wrong that they wouldn’t even let you see each other.”  
Race nodded, “It makes sense, I probably would’ve run if I knew where she was.”  
“Well there is no more running, you’re with Medda now,” Medda smiled, “Jack took Charlie to the grocery store to pick up some last-minute items for tomorrow. They should be here soon.”  
Denton looked at his watch and sighed, “I have to get going. I’ll be meeting with you every month, alright Race? I’ll see you soon.”  
“Thank you, Bryan. For everything,” Race said. He watched as Denton nodded and left the apartment. Race rocked back on his heels, feeling pretty awkward.  
“Come on, Race. I’ll show you your room,” Medda said, gesturing toward the bedrooms, “Jack and Charlie are sharing the second master so you will be next to them and Gabby. You and Gabby will share a bathroom. I know it probably seems like a lot, so take as much time as you need to adjust.  
Race nodded, “Yeah, my old place had three bedrooms, but it was pretty shitty,” Race’s eyes widened, “I’m sorry I d-didn’t mean to-”  
“Race,” Medda interrupted gently, “I would prefer to keep the cursing to a minimum, but you aren’t in trouble.”  
“Right, sorry Ms. Medda,” Race said.  
Race followed Medda into his new bedroom. It was overwhelming. There was more furniture than he had ever had in his room. Although that was pretty easy to beat because he basically only had a shitty mattress and creaky bed frame back at his old apartment. This new room had a bed, dresser, and a desk.  
“We can always get you more furniture and decorations, and you can pick out your own bedspread and curtains when we go to the store tomorrow before the party,” Medda said from the doorway.  
“It’s already more than I imagined, Ms. Medda. Thank you,” Race beamed.  
The sound of the front door opening caught their attention and they both made their way to the front hall, where Jack and Crutchie were shoving off their shoes.  
“Mama, what do you think Race’s favorite color is? He wears a lot of blue but I don’t know if- Race?” Jack finally looked up to find Race standing awkwardly behind Medda.  
“Hey, Jack,” Race said.  
“Welcome home!” Jack exclaimed, gently engulfing Race in a hug.  
“How long have you been here?” Crutchie asked as he took his own turn hugging Race.  
“Not too long, Bryan left about five minutes ago,” Race answered.  
The small group chatted for a few minutes before another knock came at the door. Race stood quickly. Medda also got up, putting a gentle hand on Race’s arm, “Gabby’s social worker thinks that you’re a bad influence, so I think it’d be best if I open the door. I’m sorry, Race.”  
Race nodded, quietly flowing Medda to the door, but stopping a few feet behind her. He watched as she opened the door, revealing a stern-looking social worker. Gabby spotted Race beyond Medda and immediately ripped her hand out of her social worker’s, running toward Race.  
“Tony!” she exclaimed as she ran into his arms, nearly tackling him to the floor.  
“Gabby!” Race called as she collapsed in his embrace. He slowly lowered them to the floor, relishing in his little sister’s embrace, “I missed you so much, Sorella,” the Italian rolled off his tongue beautifully, despite being forbidden by his father to speak it for years.  
“I missed you too, Tony,” Gabby said.  
Race could feel the joyous tears trailing down his face, but he didn’t care. All that mattered was being back with his sister, and that she was safe now. It didn’t matter that she was squeezing a little bit too hard on his healing torso or that her tears, and probably snot, were also slowly soaking his shirt. All that mattered was that Gabby was in his arms, safe and happy. Race let out a wet laugh as he rocked himself and Gabby back and forth. Race released Gabby gently just in time to hear her social worker talk about him.  
“Just so you are aware, Ms. Larkin, that boy is reported to have issues with substance use and abuse, so be careful letting him around your children.”  
“Well, Ms. Howard, even if that is the case, that doesn’t make him any less of an amazing boy. He’s suffered enough as it is, so if you don’t have anything else you need, I’d appreciate it if you left,” Medda said sternly.  
Ms. Howard scoffed but turned to leave anyway, not bothering to even say goodbye to Gabby. Medda shook her head as she turned back to her kids, “I’m sorry about her. I’ll see about getting a different social worker. I don’t see why she would make up these lies about you, Race. It seems pointless, really.”  
Race nodded. He knew he would eventually have to tell Medda the truth, but he decided against it for now. He had everything under control. Race slowly pulled himself up from the floor before he helped Gabby to her feet.  
“Why don’t we all gather in the living room. We have some things to discuss,” Medda said. Once everyone was comfortably seated she started, “We all are going to have to adjust how we live now. Jack and Charlie, I’m going to start with you. No more yelling without warning, and try to keep the scream fights to a minimum. Jack, don’t pick a fight with Charlie, he usually wins anyways,” Medda turned to Race and Gabby, “Race, I need you to communicate. I can’t help you if you pretend to be perfectly fine. No one expects you to be, so don’t try to be. Gabby, you can always come to me if you need to talk about anything, especially girl stuff. Race, why don’t you tell us what else you need?”  
“Um… doors,” Race said, “Sorry, that wasn’t specific. Like sudden and loud noises, especially doors slamming, tend to make me… I’m not sure what happens but I get scared and have a panic attack because I think he’s back.”  
“Race, Gabby, you know he’s still out there, right?” Medda asked softly.  
They both nodded, Race gripping Gabby’s hand a bit tighter. Race was expecting Medda to continue talking, but she just nodded and got up, leaving the room. She returned later with two small boxes. She handed one to Gabby and then one to Race, “these are new phones, Gabby has some limitations, but I want you two to be able to contact me whenever you need to.”  
“Thank you, Ms. Medda,” Race and Gabby said in near unison.  
“No problem and just Medda is fine,” Medda corrected softly.  
“Mama?” Jack said suddenly, “What’s for dinner?”  
The rest of the group broke into light laughter, leaving Jack looking confused before he eventually was pulled into the laughter. Race smiled at his new family. It would definitely take a lot of adjusting, but Race felt like he was going to like it here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so there's that. I really went to sleep last night thinking I was going to finish this fic and then my brain was just like "not today luv". Knowing myself this fic will probably get out of control but whatever. I'm in love with this and I have so many ideas. I'm also hella indecisive about most things so I probably should have seen this coming. So like every time I said I was going to make this 15 chapters- erase that from your brain. Never happened.  
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> I love your comments, I can not express how happy I get when I read one. They are well appreciated :)


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> I updated the tags, so make sure you're okay with everything before reading. Other than that, nothing to say about this chapter.  
> I hope you enjoy :)

Race couldn’t sleep. His bed was too big and way too comfortable and he wasn’t used to it. The apartment was silent and it was clear that no one else was awake, but Race just couldn’t fall asleep. Something was keeping him awake and it was twisting in his stomach and making him feel sick.  
Race begrudgingly threw back the covers on his new bed and quietly stumbled to the kitchen. He grabbed a glass from the cabinet before realizing that he did not know how to work the water dispenser on the fridge. It was a fancy fridge that Race had never had to use before, and of course, he needed water in the middle of the night when he should be sleeping. Frustrated, Race tugged the fridge door open, searching for a water bottle or something to drink because maybe that would miraculously make him fall asleep.  
Race looked through the shelves before he spotted a bottle of Medda’s wine. Surely she wouldn’t notice a few sips were gone, and Race was desperate. The few cans of his dad’s cheap beer usually made him a bit more tired, so the wine should work the same way. Race found Medda had three open wine bottles. If Race took a bit from each, he could probably have almost a full glass without anyone noticing. It definitely wouldn’t taste good, but that didn’t matter at the moment. Race just wanted to go to sleep.  
Race quietly pulled the three wine bottles out, quickly pouring a bit of each in his cup. He downed the drink quickly, cringing at the sour taste, before returning the bottles to the fridge. He already felt better. He made his way back into his bedroom. It could’ve just been his mind playing tricks on him, but Race felt like the wine was already starting to work its way through his system. He slipped into his bed and was carried off into a much-needed slumber. 

✧✧✧

Race walked lazily into the living room, rubbing his eyes. He had slept in far past everyone else yet he was still tired.  
“Good morning, sunshine!” Medda greeted, far too happily for this early in the day.  
“Mornin’,” Race replied sleepily, collapsing on the couch next to Gabby.  
“Jack and Charlie are making Pancakes. They said you usually don’t sleep past eight, so they’ve already started,” Medda said, handing Race his meds, “I know you aren’t the most on-time with your meds, so I’ll be giving them to you until it can become part of your routine, okay baby?”  
“Okay, Ms. Medda. Thank you,” Race responded. At least she didn't know about what he did last night. Or pretended not to know. Race had to admit it was kind of stupid, he could get kicked out because of it, but at the moment, it was all he could think of. It was only one glass, probably not even a full one, so it wouldn’t matter in the long run. It was probably better than him smoking anyway.  
“Soup’s on!” Jack called from the dining room.  
“That’s only for supper, Jack,” Crutchie corrected.  
“Shut up,” Jack snapped. He was usually moody in the morning, especially before he got his two cups of coffee.  
“Boys,” Medda scolded, “drop it.”  
Jack and Crutchie grumbled, but listened nonetheless, opting to sit across from each other at the table to avoid further conflict. Race slid into the seat beside Jack and waited patiently to be told he could eat. At the group home, Kloppman had always announced that they could start eating, so Race never had to ask, but he wasn’t sure of the rules here.  
Everyone began to grab servings of the Pancakes and other food on the table. Medda quickly noticed Race not grabbing any food and gently asked, “Are you not hungry, Race?”  
“Don’t I need permission?” Race questioned, clearly confused.  
“What?” Medda looked just as confused as Race felt.  
“Don’t you need to tell me when I can eat?”  
Medda smiled sadly, “No, baby. You can eat whenever you want to. You don’t need permission.”  
“Oh,” Race looked at his lap, “I just thought…”  
“I understand, but things are different now. You don’t need permission to eat anymore, baby,” Medda explained softly.  
Race nodded before slowly taking a small serving of food, clearly not enough for a growing teenage boy, but no one commented. The conversation turned elsewhere, leaving Race incredibly thankful the attention was off of him at the moment. He ate slowly, despite the feeling that someone would take his food away at any moment. Race didn’t want to seem too eager.  
“Race?”  
Race snapped his attention back to the table, unaware of the fact that he had zoned out. He blinked, “What?”  
“We’re going to the store in about an hour, does that work?” Medda asked.  
“Oh, yeah. That works,” Race said. He hadn’t even realized that he had actually already finished his food and was just lightly scraping his plate with his fork. He looked up, “Can I be excused?”  
“Of course, we’re almost done anyway,” Medda assured, taking Race’s plate and placing it under her own.  
“Thanks,” Race slowly got up and retreated into his room. Despite not really having a reason to be, Race was embarrassed. He felt stupid, really stupid. He sighed, there was nothing he could do about it anymore so he might as well get ready.  
Race quietly made his bed and finished unpacking his few clothes. He reached into the bottom of his bag, pulling out a small card. It was a fake ID his cousin had made him as a favor. Race knew he should probably get rid of it, but he instead tucked it back into his backpack. He might need it in the future, and it was a pretty damn good fake ID, as long as you knew where to use it. Any shitty gas station, liquor store, or bar doesn't care enough to thoroughly check the ID, and Race had bought his dad enough fake booze to be sure of that.  
Race grabbed some clothes before making his way to the bathroom to take a shower. He hadn’t had a shower this good ever. Sure, the group home bathroom was way better than back at his apartment, but it didn’t compare in the slightest to this. Race stayed in the shower a bit too long before finally convincing himself to get out and finish getting ready. He dried off and put on his clothes before multiple knocks sounded on the door.  
“Tony?” Gabby called, “open up I have to pee.”  
“I’m coming,” Race laughed to himself. He opened the door, “all yours, Sorella.”  
“Thank you,” Gabby squeaked out before quickly shutting the door.  
Race began walking back to his room before he heard Medda call his name. He headed towards the living room, asking, “You called?”  
“Yes, baby. Sit down please,” Medda said, patting the seat beside her, “I want to talk to you about a few things,” Medda seemed to notice Race’s eyes widening, so she quickly went on, “You’re not in trouble, Race. I just want to discuss a few things with you while the others are getting ready. I told the boys to not come in here until we’re done,” Medda sighed, “I want the whole truth here, Race. Do you smoke?”  
“I- well- I… yes,” Race sputtered, “I mean I’ve been trying to stop, I know it’s bad. It’s just really hard to stop.”  
“I understand,” Medda assured, “Do you have any with you here?”  
Race nodded, “Three packs. I bought them about a month ago before all this happened.”  
“I would like you to get rid of them. How much have you smoked?” Medda asked.  
“Not very much, two of the packs are still full,” Race said, embarrassed. At least this time he had a reason.  
“That’s good, Race,” Medda said, “I want to get you some things that’ll help you stop, alright? Do you want to try some nicotine gum for now?”  
“Yeah, I think that would help.”  
“Good. Now, how do you feel about therapy?”  
Race sighed, “I mean… I’m not opposed to it, but I just don’t think it would help right now. I don’t think that I would tell the truth.”  
“I understand,” Medda said, “I would like to try it in the future, alright? Maybe after Christmas break?”  
Race nodded, “Yeah that would probably be good.”  
“Great,” Medda stood up, “I have to go finish getting ready. We should be leaving in about fifteen minutes, alright?”  
“Okay,” Race watched as Medda left the room. He let out a huge breath that he was barely aware he had been holding. At least she didn’t know about the wine, and Race had been trying to quit smoking anyway. Medda wasn’t mad about him smoking, so even if she did find out about the wine, she wouldn't be angry. It was definitely stupid of Race to take the wine, but nothing bad had come out of it.  
Race convinced himself it would be a one-time thing. It was his first night sleeping in a strange new place, sometimes you need help getting to sleep. He had everything under control. Race would definitely not be adding alcoholism to his list of problems. He was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry :)  
> I hope y'all are ready for some angst because it's coming back in full force. I'm prepared to make myself cry while I write.  
> Please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed!  
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated :)


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing really to say about this chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race did not want to go to the party. He didn’t really have a choice in the matter, Jack and Crutchie had already planned it and their entire friend group was coming. Gabby was also ridiculously excited and had managed to invite a few friends last minute. So Race pretended he wanted to go to the party.  
The reason Race did not like parties is because they are loud and Race tends to not do well with loud stuff. He already felt like he would let his guard down and then something bad would happen, just like always. But his friends were excited for him, so Race would pretend he was enjoying himself at the party.  
Race was snapped out of his thoughts by a knock on his door. “Come in,” he called.  
“Hey, Tony,” Katherine said, quietly closing the door behind her.  
“Hey,” Race responded, scooching over so she could sit on his bed.  
“I’m willing to bet you’re not actually that excited about the party,” Katherine suggested.  
Race sighed, “Yeah, not so much. It’s not that I don’t want to go, I just- think it’s going to be so loud. I really don’t like it when it gets too loud.”  
Katherine nodded, “How about we have a code word or signal? That way if you need to get out for any reason I can distract people so you can leave quickly.”  
“I’d like that,” Race said, “thanks, Kath.”  
“Of course, Tony. People are going to be here soon, don’t you want to greet your boyfriend?” Katherine joked.  
Race laughed, “I would say no out of spite, but I really want to greet him.”  
“Jesus, you’re head over heels for that tiny man,” Katherine teased, “You saw him two days ago.”  
“Which means I haven’t seen him in two days, and that’s two days too long,” Race responded, choosing to ignore Katherine's jab at Spot's height because, honestly, she was kind of right.  
Katherine snorted, “I get it! Let’s just go!”  
“Ladies first, Katherine,” Race said standing up and opening the door.  
“You’re ridiculous,” Katherine laughed.  
“That may be true, but you still love me,” Race retorted.  
“Sadly, yes. I do love you,” Katherine shook her head, “it’s a tragedy.”  
“Alright, that’s just rude,” Race exclaimed with mock offense. The two walked into the living room and saw the Jacobs’ were just arriving. Katherine smiled as she approached her girlfriend, kissing her quickly. Jack had already started dragging Davey off to the living room leaving Les looking confused in the doorway.  
“Sure, leaving the nine-year-old alone. That makes sense,” Les exclaimed.  
Race laughed, “I think Gabby is in her room, Les. It’s the first door down that hallway.”  
“Thanks, Race!” Les said as he ran off to find Gabby.  
Race made his way into the kitchen, “Need any help, Ms. Medda?”  
“Oh you don’t have to, Race,” Medda said.  
“I’d like to,” Race insisted, “I’m not doing anything, might as well help.”  
Medda shook her head, “Well then go on and wash up, baby. Jack and Charlie could learn a few things about helping from you.”  
Race shrugged, drying his hands, “If I can help, I don’t see why I wouldn’t. It just seems like the right thing to do.”  
Medda laughed softly, “Oh, you sweet boy. Thank you for helping me.” The two of them worked in the kitchen with comfortable silence for a few minutes before Medda suddenly asked, “When’s your birthday?”  
“What? Oh, um January fourth,” Race replied.  
“That’s only about a month away! Do you have anything you want to do to celebrate?” Medda asked.  
Race looked down, “I’m not sure… I haven’t really celebrated my birthday in a while. Probably almost ten years actually.”  
“Oh, honey,” Medda smiled sadly, “we don’t have to do a lot if that makes you uncomfortable. We can just have a family dinner if you want.”  
Race nodded, “That sounds good.” The front door opened, catching Race’s attention. He smiled as Spot walked through the door. Race turned to Medda, “Can I-”  
“You sure can, Race,” Medda assured, “go say hi to your boyfriend. I can finish up here.”  
“Thank you,” Race said before quickly making his way to his boyfriend.  
Spot smiled as Race approached him, “Hey, baby.”  
“Hey,” Race said before being pulled into a kiss. He gently pulled away, taking Spot’s hand and leading him to the living room to join the others.  
After another twenty minutes or so, everyone had arrived. It was a pretty uneventful party for the most part. People were talking with each other and grabbing the food the Medda had displayed on the dining table and the counter. Race was actually enjoying himself. Before he knew it nearly three hours had passed and people began to leave. Most of their parents had actually told Medda when they wanted them home, so Medda couldn’t defend them this time if they came home late. Soon it was just the Larkin’s, Katherine, and Spot.  
Katherin collapsed next to where Race was cuddled into Spot’s side on the couch and turned to Race, “That wasn’t so bad, right Tony?”  
Race nodded, “Yeah, I actually enjoyed it.”  
Spot looked down at Race, brushing a golden curl from his eyes, “Did you not want the party, Racer?”  
Race shrugged, “I’m not sure, but everyone was so excited and I thought it would be nice to at least go or something.”  
Spot sighed, “If you ever don’t want to do something, please tell me. I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, alright baby?”  
Race hummed in agreement, cuddling closer into Spot. The conversation stopped and the group fell into a comfortable silence. Before he knew it, Race was gently being shaken awake by Spot. He blinked, “What?”  
Spot let out a light laugh, “I gotta go, Racer. My mom needs me home.”  
Race slid out of Spot’s light embrace, “okay. Goodnight, love.” Race pulled Spot into a soft kiss before watching him quietly leave. Race sighed leaning back to lay on the couch. He jumped as he landed on something that definitely was not a couch.  
“Jesus, Tony,” Katherine mumbled, “did you forget I was here?”  
Race cringed, “Sorta, yeah. My bad Kath.”  
“It’s fine. I think everyone else went to bed already,” Katherine yawned, “I think I would get in a crash if I left now.”  
“Just sleep here, you can have my bed,” Race said.  
“I’m not taking your bed,” Katherine insisted.  
“It’s too big anyway, I can sleep on the couch tonight,” Race countered.  
“Just fucking sleep in your bed, Tony,” Katherine said sleepily, “We can both sleep there if it’s big enough. We’re both really gay.”  
“Okay, yeah,” Race slowly got up, “let’s go, Kath.” The two made their way to Race’s room before collapsing on his bed, a comfortable distance between them. They quickly drifted off to sleep. 

✧✧✧

Race woke up realizing he was holding someone in his arms. He quickly scrambled away, almost falling off the bed. It was then he realized he had been holding Katherine and that they had apparently just drifted to cuddling in their sleep.  
“Tony,” Katherine mumbled, “Why the fuck did you have to wake me up like that, I was still sleeping.”  
“Sorry, Kath. I forgot you slept over last night and for a second I thought I had fucked Spot or something,” Race explained.  
Katherine giggled, “Damn, Tony. But, I’m still mad you woke me up, do you have a sweatshirt I can borrow? This shirt smells like I slept in it.”  
Race rolled his eyes, “maybe that’s because you did.” He tossed her the sweatshirt, turning around so she could put it on. He waited a bit before asking, “done?”  
“Yeah, you can turn around,” Katherine responded, pulling her auburn hair into a high bun. She sniffed, “I smell some of Medda’s cinnamon rolls, let’s go.” Katherine gently pulled Race into the dining room, where Medda was just putting her cinnamon rolls on the table.  
Jack looked up at Katherine and Race before groggily asking, “Race did you fuck my ex-girlfriend?”  
“Excuse me, Jack Kelly, do I need to remind you we broke up because I’m a lesbian?” Katherine snapped.  
Jack nodded, “I forgot.”  
“Jesus, Jack. Haven’t had your coffee yet? I’m gay too,” Race joked.  
“I forgot that too.”  
The table erupted in light laughs. Race slid into a seat beside Gabby, Katherine taking the one across from him. They fell into an easy conversation, which Gabby quickly made about the new toy she saw on the tv this morning. Race smiled listening to his sister. He was glad she seemed to be adjusting to their new life here easily. He just hoped he could get there eventually. 

✧✧✧

Race laid awake on his too-big bed. It was midnight and he was supposed to wake up for school in about six hours. He rolled out of bed, tugging on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. He quietly slipped on his shoes and jacket before grabbing his backpack and sliding out the window in his bedroom. Race quickly made his way down the fire escape, careful not to make too much noise. His feet hit the ground softly.  
Race quickly made his way towards a liquor shop that he had frequented often before. They almost never asked for his ID, but he had it anyway. He slipped into the shop, picking up a few cheap bottles of liquor that he guessed would last the longest. Race placed them on the counter, along with a twenty-dollar bill. The cashier simply took the bill and gave Race his cashback, not saying a word to the fifteen-year-old. Race nodded before leaving the shop.  
Race quickly wrapped his bottles in a sweatshirt so that they wouldn’t clink against each other before making his way back to the Larkin apartment. He quickly went up the fire escape and slid into his room. As far as Race could tell, no one had noticed his short absence. He quickly locked the door to his bedroom, just in case. Race pulled out a bottle of liquor, not bothering to check which kind it was. He took a long sip, the alcohol burning his mouth and throat.  
Although he did not care for the taste, the alcohol made Race feel better. So what if he had a few sips every now and then? It wasn’t a big deal and he would stop once it became easier to sleep alone on his bed. Race was already close to quitting smoking, so that meant it would be easy to stop drinking once he had settled in. Besides, Race was great at keeping secrets, so no one would ever find out. He could handle it himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh.  
> I don't really know what to say. Also, I realized I wrote Race as a kinda forgetful person and I may or may not be projecting. If you are wondering if I am projecting, I would like to point out my lack of consistency with some of the characters (Albert (I'm sorry I forgot about him for a hot second, my bad)).  
> Also, in case you were wondering, the whole alcoholism plot was inspired by personal experience (I wasn't the alcoholic, someone very close to me was).  
> Anywho, please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> I hoped you enjoyed :)  
> I love looking at your comments :)


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!   
> So this chapter is a bit rough. I have updated the tags, but there are mentions and descriptions of self-harm, so please do not read if this will trigger you in any way. I would recommend that you stop reading at "Race sat alone in his room, his wrist throbbing..." and then start again at "He usually hated cold showers, but Race was grateful at the moment." which is in the second paragraph after the third break.   
> Other than that, I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Race stumbled out of his room at six in the morning, clearly not receiving enough sleep. He had a headache and he was still tired and he did not want to go to school. Race collapsed onto his chair at the dining table, allowing Medda to place a small bowl of cereal and his meds in front of him. He slowly began eating, as the rest of the family filed into the dining room.   
“Race?” Medda said softly, getting his attention, “Are there any activities you’d like to do outside of school?”   
Race cleared his throat, “It might be too late, but dance? I used to take a class when mama was still alive, but I stopped going after she passed. I still tried to learn from the internet and I’m pretty flexible, but I’d like formal training.”   
Medda smiled, “That sounds great, baby. I’ll see to finding a few studios for you and you can choose which one you like best.”   
Race nodded, “Thank you, Ms. Medda.” The rest of breakfast passed with limited conversation. Race was getting a bit more comfortable with every day that passed staying with Medda. As long as he didn’t mess anything up, Race would definitely like it here. 

✧✧✧

Race sighed as he walked out of school and into winter break. He had been staying with the Larkin’s for about a month now and Race was finally adjusting to his new daily routine. He smiled down at Spot as they walked toward Jack’s car. Spot’s car had broken down a week ago so Race made Jack agree to pick him up for school every day. Race didn’t mind spending extra time with his boyfriend every day, even if Jack got grumpy. For some reason, Jack and Spot had an unspoken feud between the two of them that no one really understood. Even Davey couldn't get the reason out of Jack.   
Race had actually been having a good few weeks, but of course, his luck could not last that long. He, Spot, and Crutchie were late leaving the school because Jack had to get his eight different art projects, so most people were already gone. Once they finally left the school, the parking lot was nearly bare, with only a few cars left. The group walked toward Jack’s car before Race let out a yelp of surprise as he was violently pulled back, his hand being ripped out of Spot’s.   
The others turned around, their faces morphing into horrified expressions as they realized what had caused Race to cry out. His father, who had been on the run for over a month now, was standing behind Race, holding a pocket knife to Race’s throat. Robert glared at the teenagers, spitting out, “Take another step and I slit his throat.” Robert was clearly high on something as he was swaying on his feet and his eyes were drooping closed every few seconds. This made the group even more nervous that he would accidentally hurt Race.   
“Dad,” Race croaked out, clearly trying to stay as far from the knife as possible, “just let me go. If you kill me you’ll get caught, but you can leave and we won’t call the police if you let me go.”   
“You think I’m stupid, boy?” Robert slurred, “I ain’t letting you go, but I ain’t killing you either. You got a rich mama now, right? She’ll pay for your safe return, and then I can get outta here.”   
“Dad, please. That won’t work,” Race paused, hearing police sirens, “They’re coming, and they’re going to hurt you if you don’t let me go.” Race took in a sharp breath as the knife nicked his neck, letting blood trickle down. Before Race could tell what was happening, he was being harshly shoved to the ground, landing on his wrist with a snap. He could see his father running away, and it was clear Spot and Jack were getting ready to chase him. Race yelled, “Stop, let him go. He’ll hurt you.”   
Reluctantly, Jack and Spot turned back toward Race. Crutchie had already started gently pressing some tissues onto Race’s neck in an attempt to stop the blood. It was clear Race wouldn’t bleed out from it, but Crutchie was clearly worried about him losing any more blood. A minute later, two police cars swerved into the parking lot, stopping about a yard from the boys. Race recognized one of the officers that ran towards them as Officer Williams.   
“Do we need to call an ambulance?” Williams said, kneeling next to Race as the other officers went in the direction that Jack had pointed to.   
Race shook his head, “No, it just nicked my neck. I think I broke my wrist, though. How’re you here?”   
“We got a call from Medda Larkin saying police needed to be dispatched to the school,” Williams explained.   
“I have an emergency button on my phone that sends mama an alert and my location. I pressed it as soon as your dad grabbed you,” Jack clarified, “She’s on her way.”   
Officer Williams sighed, “There’s no sign of him, sorry kid.”   
“How the fuck do you lose a guy-” Spot started before being cut off by a glare from Race, “Sorry, Officer.”   
“It’s alright, I can understand your anger,” Williams said, “We have officers looking for him still and everyone has reports of what he looks like. I’ll stay with you until Ms. Larkin arrives.”   
A few minutes later, Medda’s car pulled into the parking lot. She jumped out as soon as it stopped and ran to the boys, “Good Lord! What happened?”   
“My dad came back,” Race muttered, “and I think I broke my wrist.”   
“Then let’s get you to the hospital,” Medda said, helping Race to his feet. She nodded to Officer Williams before leading Race to her car. Medda turned to Jack, “Baby, why don’t you and Charlie take Spot home and we’ll meet you back home, alright?”   
“Of course, Mama,” Jack responded, leading Charlie and a reluctant Spot back to his car. Spot awkwardly waved at Race before getting into the backseat.   
Medda helped Race into the passenger seat and then drove off. The car ride was silent as Medda assumed Race wouldn’t really care for a lot of talking at the moment. However, all Race could think about was if his father had shown up at the apartment, or Gabby’s school. Somehow, that thought overpowered the immense pain in his wrist, almost making it more bearable. But what wasn’t bearable was the overwhelming dread that once again filled Race up, creating a twisting feeling inside of him. 

✧✧✧

Race sat alone in his room, his wrist throbbing as he slowly took sips of the alcohol that he so desperately needed at the moment. He was incredibly thankful that he had stocked up a couple of days ago because it would be difficult for him to climb down the fire escape with his cast. The doctors said that it would probably take at least two months for his wrist to heal, but Race would figure something out for when he needed more liquor.   
But for now, Race sat alone on his floor, leaning against the wall as he drank the cheap tequila he illegally bought. On top of that, he could feel tears trailing down his face. He had been sitting for so long, nearly two hours, and the alcohol was not making him feel any better. Race felt numb, usually, the drinks would make him feel better but nothing was working and Race just wanted something to work. He felt pitiful, laying on the ground in his boxers and a t-shirt, crying, and holding a bottle of tequila. Even if someone found him they would probably just laugh. That’s what his dad would do, at least.   
Race slowly grabbed his backpack, digging through it until he found what he was looking for. A pocket knife. Race pulled himself off the ground, stumbling into the bathroom and locking the door that connected to Gabby’s room. Sober Race probably would’ve talked himself out of doing anything, but intoxicated Race didn’t care. He just wanted to feel something.   
Race pulled up his boxers, exposing his thigh, and snapped open the pocket knife. He shakily cut through his skin, just light enough that it wouldn't cause too much damage. The pain was immense, but he felt it. He needed to feel it. The blood trailed down Race’s leg, matching the tears that continued to pour from his eyes. He continued to slice through his skin until the numbness fully subsided. Race took another swig of tequila, not noticing that he drunk nearly a third of the bottle, which was far too much for a fifteen-year-old.   
Race sat for a few minutes, or an hour. He honestly couldn’t tell. The cuts had scabbed over and Race was drifting off to sleep. He somehow managed to safely place the liquor bottle on the ground before he curled up in the bathtub and drifted into a restless slumber. 

✧✧✧

Race was woken up by the sound of his alarm, which he had forgotten to turn off the previous night. Race could feel the bile start to rise in his throat, and he quickly stumbled to the toilet, barely making it before emptying the contents of his stomach inside. He groaned, finally noticing the bottle of tequila and the dried blood on his legs and around the bathtub. “Shit,” Race mumbled, slowly raising himself to his feet. Thankfully, both his bedroom and bathroom doors were locked. Race quietly rehid his liquor before making his way back to the bathroom.   
Race wet a washcloth, wiping any excess blood away, before turning on the shower. He took a long shower, relishing in the cold that helped soothe his headache. He usually hated cold showers, but Race was grateful at the moment. After about half an hour, Race turned the water off, drying himself off. He walked back into his bedroom, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt before returning to the bathroom to brush his teeth multiple times. Once he deemed his breath tequila scentless, he emerged from his room, finding Medda starting breakfast in the kitchen.   
“Good morning, Race,” Medda smiled, “how are you feeling?”   
“My head and wrist hurt,” Race mumbled, “can I help?”   
Medda shook her head, “If you aren’t feeling great, why don’t you just sit in the living room and watch something mindless. I’ll bring you some pain medicine in a few minutes.”   
Race nodded, “thanks Medda.” Race saw Medda smile at his lack of ‘Ms.’ in his sentence. At least he was doing something right, even if he felt like shit. A few minutes later, Jack joined Race in the living room with two cups of coffee in his hands.   
“Mama said coffee sometimes helps with her headaches, even if it’s not a hangover,” Jack murmured, “and here are your drugs.”   
“Thanks,” Race said.   
Jack looked Race up and down, “You look like shit, Racer.”   
“Feel like shit too. I’ve never had a headache this bad,” Race mumbled. He’s also never had a third of a bottle of tequila, but Race was choosing to ignore that fact at the current moment.   
Jack shrugged, “I’m sure you’ll get a worse one eventually.”   
Race let out a light laugh, “Very inspirational, Jackie.” Race closed his eyes, taking a sip of the bitter coffee. He didn’t like drinking straight black coffee, but if it would help Race’s headache that he knew was a hangover, he was willing to drink it.   
The rest of the day passed uneventfully, with Race finally being able to get rid of his hangover by dinnertime. He helped Medda make some of his mama’s recipes before he heard a knock at the door, leaving the kitchen to answer it. Gladly, Race looked through the peephole before opening the door. Panicked, he quickly locked the other locks on the door and ran back into the kitchen.   
“Medda!” Race exclaimed in a loud whisper, “He’s outside.”   
“Who is?” Medda asked, clearly confused.   
“My dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry :(   
> Also, I do realize there is quite a big time jump in there, but I was unsure about what to write to fill up a month of time so I just... didn't write it. Oops. Also, a lot of what Race is going through are personal experiences of mine, which may differ from how others might view it, so please keep that in mind :)  
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!   
> I love reading your comments :)


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing really to say about this chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race quickly followed Medda as she ushered everyone into Jack and Crutchie’s bedroom. Robert was now pounding on the door which alerted the other children that there was an actual problem. Medda locked the bedroom door before turning to Jack and Race, “Push that dresser in front of the door.”   
“Mama, what’s happening?” Crutchie asked, holding onto Gabby.   
“Robert is here,” Medda answered, “I’m calling 911.” Medda retreated further in the room, away from everyone else.   
Race could barely register what she was saying. He couldn’t believe his dad had the guts to show up here. Gabby was here and she was terrified. Robert could fuck with Race all he wanted, but Gabby needed to be safe. Race slid down the wall, his head falling into his hands as he let out a shaky breath. The continuous sound of his father pounding on the door was piercing through Race’s mind.   
“Tony?” Gabby said lightly, placing a hand on Race’s knee.   
“Yeah, Gabs?” Race asked, glancing up at his sister.  
“Is dad here to hurt you?” Gabby questioned.   
Race shook his head, “No, of course not,” he lied, “He’s sick. He doesn’t know what he’s doing right now.”   
“Oh,” Gabby muttered, “Is he going to get better?”   
“Maybe,” Race explained, “but he’s not very nice when he’s sick, so that’s why we’re worried. He might do something bad.”   
“Okay,” Gabby said, slowly crawling into Race’s arms.   
Race closed his eyes. He couldn’t stand the worried looks on Jack and Crutchie’s faces. Race could hear the sirens approaching, combining with the knocking that still hadn’t stopped. A few minutes later, the pounding stopped, instead replaced with muffled shouting. Race could hear the faint sound of a struggle before there were more knocks, only three strong ones.   
“NYPD, it’s safe to come out!”  
Medda started toward the door, “Stay here for a few minutes, I’ll call for you in a bit.”   
Race stared blankly in front of him. He didn’t know how he was supposed to feel. He was obviously scared, along with everyone else it seems, but there was another lingering feeling that he couldn’t quite place. Race was snapped out of his thoughts when Medda called for everyone. Race followed Jack and Crutchie out to the hall with Gabby glued to his side.   
Medda smiled softly as her kids came into the room, “Why don’t we all have a quick conversation in the living room.” Once everyone was situated Medda started, “Robert is in custody now. There will likely be a trial in a month or so, and depending on how he pleas, you might have to testify, Race.”   
Race’s head shot up, “What?”   
“If your father pleads not guilty you will have to testify against him. We all will, but you have the most information out of us all. If you don’t testify, it’s likely Robert will go free,” Medda explained.   
Race nodded, “Will the trial become… public?” That was what Race was the most worried about. Medda was practically a celebrity, how long would she be able to dodge questions?   
“I will do my very best to keep it out of the public eye,” Medda sighed, “but I can’t make any promises. People will make connections and they will dig for more information.”   
“They’ll think I’m lying if I don’t testify,” Race muttered.   
“Let’s not talk about this now, alright baby? This is a future thought, not a present thought. I just wanted to make you aware of the situation,” Medda said.   
“Thank you Medda,” Race said, “I appreciate it.” Race watched as Medda nodded, before retreating to the kitchen, signaling the end of the conversation. 

✧✧✧

Race, contrary to popular belief, was not always an absolute dumbass. Somehow Race had convinced himself to put the alcohol on the highest shelf in his closet so that future Race would be discouraged from trying to grab it in the middle of the night. Race decided that he needed to be sober for Christmas, and since he clearly had a handle on drinking, that wouldn’t be hard to do at all.   
Turns out, Race was wrong about that. It was officially Christmas eve since Race had been trying to fall asleep for two hours and it was now midnight. He was itching to get out of bed and take a can of cheap beer from his closet, but past Race was definitely smart to make it high enough that Race would not want to try and get it out in fear of everything crashing to the ground.   
So instead Race suffered in silence, hoping that he would eventually get tired enough and just pass out. At least when he lived with his father he usually got a good night's sleep, even if he rarely remembered falling asleep and half of the time he slept in a closet. Race didn’t want to go back, but he also didn’t want to be lying awake in his bed for another eight hours.   
Race threw back his covers, sliding out of bed. He tugged on some clothes and his winter coat before quietly making his way toward the front door. He should probably leave a note, but Race knew he would be back in an hour or so. He just needed some air.   
Race was not back in an hour or so. He woke up in an alley a few blocks from the apartment. He didn’t really understand how he had got there, but he didn’t seem hurt or anything. Race glanced at his phone. It read 9:23. Race blinked at it, expecting it to change, despite the sun clearly shining. He unlocked his phone, scrolling through the dozens of messages from his friends. They thought he had ran again, and to be fair, Race did disappear in the middle of the night. He did not, however, mean for anyone to know he had left.   
Race pulled himself up. He had to get back to the apartment before anyone got more worried. The short walk felt like it took twice as long as fear began to make its way inside Race’s mind. What if Medda got really mad about him leaving? What if she decided to kick him out? What if they had already contacted the police? Would they take him from the Larkin’s?   
Race approached the apartment door, slowly unlocking the door. He pushed it open and was met with a call from Medda in the living room.   
“Race?”   
Everyone ran into the main hall. All of their faces were etched with worry, which made Race feel extremely guilty. Race sighed, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”   
“Where’d you go, Racer?” Crutchie asked quietly.   
Race shrugged, “I’m not sure. I couldn’t sleep last night so I went for a walk to get fresh air. I was only going to stay out for an hour or so. I didn’t mean to fall asleep outside. I’m sorry.”   
“You slept outside?” Medda asked, “Let’s get you by the fire, baby.” Medda gently guided Race to sit in front of the fire. Gabby joined him, sitting next to Race and cuddling into his side.   
“I really didn’t mean to scare you. I was only going to get fresh air, I’m sorry,” Race said, coughing.   
Medda smiled softly, “I know, Race. It’s fine if you need to get some air when you can’t sleep, but we have a balcony, sweetie.”   
“Yeah, I kinda forgot about that last night,” Race cringed, “and I was going to leave you a note, but I guess I thought it wasn’t a big deal at the time.”   
Jack scoffed, “Well it kinda is a big deal, Racer. Everyone was worried. Especially considering that you have ran before.”   
“Why would I run now, Jack?” Race snapped.   
“I don’t know Racer! Seems like sometimes you just run away from your problems,” Jack accused.   
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize running away from my dad that beat the shit out of me was the wrong thing to do. Maybe next time I’ll just let him hurt me,” Race hissed, “Cause that’s the exact reason I ended up in the hospital, ain’t it, Jack? Cause I ran? It’s my fault?”   
“Oh come on!” Jack exclaimed, “That ain’t what I meant and you know it.”   
“Boys,” Medda interrupted sternly, “There will be no more of that, especially on Christmas. Both of you need to apologize, now.”   
Jack nodded guiltily, “I’m sorry Racer. I wasn’t being fair.”   
Race sighed, “I wasn’t either. I’m sorry.”   
“Good,” Medda said, “I’m going to go grab Race a warm cup of coffee, and when I get back we are going to put a pause on this conversation for the holidays.”   
Race leaned back closer to the fire as Medda left for his coffee. It was weird having people worry this much about him. It was weird to have someone care about where he was or if he was warm enough. Race was actually starting to get used to it, even though it scared him. He was surprisingly starting to think of the Larkin apartment as home. Race wasn’t always happy, that was clear to see, but he felt like he was inching closer now. And Race would try to let himself do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um yeah.   
> Sorry about not posting yesterday, I was extra depressed. But I'm here now and I think this chapter is decent so we're going to take that as a win.   
> Please let me know if I missed any tags.   
> I love reading your comments ❤   
> I hope you enjoyed :)


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Just a note: Albert is trans. It's not a huge plot point, but it is relevant in this chapter.   
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race found himself being gently shaken awake at a time too early for his comfort. “What?” he grumbled, turning away from whoever was shaking him.   
“Tony, get up,” Gabby whined, “It’s Christmas!”   
Race groaned, dragging himself out of bed, “Just let me get dressed and I’ll be out in a second. Go wake Jack and Charlie.”   
“Okay!” Gabby exclaimed, way too energetically for seven in the morning.   
Race pulled on his pajama pants and hoodie before making his way to the living room. Medda was already awake and reading a book when Race arrived. He yawned, “Good morning Medda. Merry Christmas.”   
Medda smiled, putting her book away, “Good morning, Race. Merry Christmas to you as well.”  
“Gabby’s waking up Jack and Charlie,” Race said, collapsing on the couch.   
Medda laughed lightly, “It’s been a long time since we got up before nine on Christmas morning. The boys started sleeping in once Charlie turned eleven.”   
Race nodded, “Gabby and I would usually get up really early and I would give her the few presents I could afford. My dad never bought us any so I would try to take some change from him throughout the year so I could buy some for Gabby,” Race smiled, “I would also get a small one for me so Gabby would think Santa brought them for us.”  
“That sounds awfully sweet, Race,” Medda said.   
“Yeah, I guess. I haven't gotten Christmas presents since mama was alive,” Race confessed.   
“Well it ain’t like that anymore, Racer,” Jack said groggily, “You better like these presents, you’re hard to buy for.”   
“I’d like any present I get,” Race assured, “I’m just happy to get them.”   
Crutchie snorted, “That makes you sound like a jerk, Jackie.”   
Jack rolled his eyes, “shut up. Let’s open the presents.”   
Race watched as everyone was passed a few presents by Jack. Gabby looked like she was itching to tear hers open, but was politely restraining herself. Soon, all the presents were organized and they had started taking turns opening them.   
Once they had finished, Medda stood up, “I have one last surprise for Race and Gabby. I’ll be right back.” Medda returned a minute later with two bags, handing one to Race and the other to Gabby. Medda smiled, “Open them at the same time.”   
Race gently pulled the tissue paper out of the bag and reached in, pulling out a small pack of papers, identical to Gabby’s present. His eyes widened as he realized what they were. He looked up at Medda, “You want to adopt us?”  
Medda nodded, “I want to make you two an official part of the family. Are you okay with that?”   
Race laughed, “Of course! Thank you Medda!” He could feel himself smiling uncontrollably, along with the rest of the family. Race was overjoyed. Never in his life did he think he could have a full family that cared about him. Gabby had been the only family Race had for nearly ten years, but now he had more and he was not about to mess it up.   
The remainder of the day went by smoothly. Race felt like he was constantly smiling, and maybe he was. He hadn’t been this happy in a long time and he was going to let himself enjoy it. Race loved seeing how excited Gabby was about her new toys and how much food there was for Christmas dinner. Usually, Race just bought takeout the day before and warmed it up for dinner. Race didn’t think he’d ever seen this much food in one place before. He wondered if Medda usually made this much for Thanksgiving too. He assumed they hadn’t done much for Thanksgiving this year considering they had taken him to the hospital the night before. Race still felt bad about that.   
But now Race was curled up on the couch, watching a cheesy Hallmark movie with his new family. He was starting to nod off, which Race was incredibly thankful for since that meant he would probably sleep pretty well tonight.  
Race discovered that he was wrong. He was not sleeping well. He was actually not sleeping at all. He was laying awake, staring up at the ceiling. He glanced at his clock. It was technically December 26 now, no longer Christmas. He had only promised himself to not drink on Christmas. A part of Race told him he should stop, but the alcohol always made him feel so much better.  
Race quietly slid out of bed and crept towards his closet, pulling his desk chair with him. He quickly grabbed a few cans of beer from the top shelf. Once he had gotten down, Race cracked one open and chugged it, desperate for the all too familiar feeling of the alcohol. He quickly downed the other two cans, already feeling a bit buzzed. Race climbed back into bed and soon fell asleep. 

✧✧✧

So far, Race’s birthday was not going great. He had slept on his cast wrong and now his wrist ached and itched. It already sucked that he had a sort of constant reminder about how his father had almost killed him, again, but this just added to the discomfort. Also, it was the first day back from winter break and Race did not want to get fake pity from everyone. At least he would get to see Spot and his friends again. Most of them were unable to hang out during break which left Race with Jack complaining about how he couldn’t see Davey because his family had left to visit their relatives down in Virginia.   
So here Race was, sitting alone in his English teacher's room, waiting for Spot and Katherine to show up. Hopefully before anybody else like… Oscar. The Oscar that had just walked in and smirked when he saw Race alone in the corner.   
“Long time no see, Racetrack,” Oscar said, “Ya know you got me and my brother suspended.”   
Race rolled his eyes, “What, you talking about when you punched me and ripped open my stitches and I ended up in the hospital again? My bad, Oscar. I’ll try not to do that again.”   
“Good, cause that ended up on our record, Racer,” Oscar hissed, “And I ain’t too fond of that.”   
Race scoffed, “It ain’t my fault you thought it’d be a good idea to beat me up on school property. You’re lucky I didn’t press charges.”   
Oscar laughed bitterly, “As if anyone would believe a runaway street rat like you. How’d you hurt yourself this time, Race? Daddy finally found you?”   
Race narrowed his eyes, “What?”   
“Most of the school knows, Racetrack. Someone found your dad’s mugshot online. Says he was arrested on charges of child abuse and attempted murder,” Oscar shook his head, “I didn’t think you were that much of an attention whore, Higgins.”   
“I ain’t an attention whore, Oscar. And I’m done talking bout this,” Race spat out, “Fuck off.”   
“Damn, does your mother know you speak such foul language?” Oscar mocked.   
“How would I know? She’s dead,” Race snapped.   
“Maybe you should join her, Higgins,” Oscar whispered as more people entered the classroom. He smirked before moving to the front of the classroom.   
Race huffed as he leaned further into his chair, waiting for Spot and Katherine to arrive. Sure enough, they got there a minute later, heading back toward Race.   
“Hey, baby,” Spot said, sneaking a kiss on Race’s cheek before sliding in the chair next to him, “Happy birthday.”   
“Yeah, happy birthday!” Katherine added with a smile, sliding into the seat on the other side of Race, “How was your break?”   
Race sighed, opting to ignore his encounter with Oscar, “It was pretty good. I haven’t had a real family type of Christmas since my mama died. Oh, and I also got adopted.”   
“Tony!” Katherine exclaimed, “That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you!”  
Spot smiled, “Yeah, Racer. Congratulations!”   
“Thanks,” Race said, “Also, they found my dad, but someone found his mugshot and charges and pretty much the entire school knows about it.”   
“Shit,” Spot cringed, “That’s definitely not ideal.”   
Race shrugged, “At least people are connecting the dots. I’m tired of dodging their questions.”   
Race saw Katherine open her mouth to say more, but was cut off by the bell ringing. Race settled into his chair. He could already tell this was going to be a long fucking day. 

✧✧✧

Race, for once, was completely right. Every class was filled with people coming up to him, either about his cast or his dad. Most people said they were sorry about what had happened, but a few clearly thought it was all made up. Mainly Morris Delancey.   
Race had three classes with Morris, and in every class, Morris decided to voice his opinion on Race’s situation. Morris made a mistake, however, when he decided to do this during sixth period, the class Race had with Albert.   
Albert was a complete dumbass most of the time, but he was also fiercely loyal to his friends and people he cared about. So, when Morris decided to mock Race for the third time that day, Albert was pissed to say the very least. And that is how Race found himself in the middle of an argument that would likely soon turn into a fistfight in the middle of Algebra II.   
“He’s a fucking liar, DaSilva. Ain’t you able to see that?” Morris spat, clearly trying to antagonize Albert.   
“You’re one to talk, Morris. All you do is lie about shit and make things up,” Albert hissed, “I don’t understand your need to make Race’s life a living hell.”   
Race began to tune the spitting match out until one sentence caught his attention.   
“Of course the fucking f*g needs a girl to defend him.”   
Race’s eyes widened as he watched Albert. Most people wouldn’t be able to tell, but Albert was fuming. The silence was clearly throwing Morris off because he suddenly looked unsure about what to do.   
Albert took a step closer to Morris, grabbing his shirt and pulling him to eye level, “You wanna fucking say that again, Morris?”   
Morris quickly shook his head. Albert released his hold on Morris and glared at him as Morris retreated to the opposite side of the room.   
“Damn,” Race whispered, “That was pretty badass, Al.”   
“I know,” Albert said, plopping into the chair next to Race, “I’m just glad the sub is taking fifteen minutes to go to the bathroom. My parents wouldn’t be happy if I got into another fight.”   
“Yeah, maybe not,” Race laughed, “They’d probably make you stop hanging around me.”   
Albert grunted in agreement as the sub walked back in, announcing it was time to continue the lesson. Race decided it was time to stop paying attention and let himself zone out until the bell rang.   
Sure, the day had started out rough, but it was slowly getting better. Race still hated the eyes on him when he walked into the room, but at least his friends helped him through it. Everything was started to get better in his life, albeit slowly, and he was not about to fuck that up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah.   
> I feel like this chapter was a healthy little mix of some angst and fluff.   
> Anywho, please let me know if I missed any tags!   
> I love reading/seeing your comments and Kudos ❤   
> I hoped you enjoyed :)


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!   
> Make sure you're okay with the tags- there's some talk of alcoholism and self-harm throughout the chapter.   
> Nothing else besides that!   
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race was definitely regretting some of his decisions. Especially considering he was staring at Jack and Jack was staring right back. The thing is, Race was swaying on his feet and holding a half-empty bottle of vodka. Race had forgotten to lock his door and had stupidly decided to start drinking before he knew everyone was asleep. Which was the way he had gotten himself into this situation.   
“Race?” Jack said, approaching him slowly.   
Somehow, Race’s fear had sobered himself up a bit, “Jack, you can’t tell anyone,” Race slurred.   
Jack scoffed, “Like hell, I can’t. How long have you been drinking?”   
Race shrugged, “Almost two months. But I have it under control.”   
“Race, this is not under control,” Jack hissed, “You are clearly drunk. How’d you even get the booze?”   
“My cousin gave me an ID,” Race said, “I always bought my dad booze, if you find the right store they don’t care.”   
“I’m telling Mama,” Jack said, turning to leave.   
“No!” Race exclaimed, “I don’t want to leave.”   
Jack looked back at Race, “What do you mean? Mama ain’t gonna unadopt you Race. You just need help and I can’t do that for you myself.”   
Race watched as Jack left the room. He slid down the wall, nearly spilling his alcohol in the process. It was Race’s own damn fault that he even got in this situation. If had only waited another hour no one would’ve found out, but of course, Jack had to come in for some reason and now Race was screwed. He could feel the tears stinging his eyes. Race really didn’t want to cry now, but the tears spilled over anyway. He glanced up as Jack returned, Medda trailing right behind him.   
Medda smiled softly, sitting down next to Race and gently grabbing the vodka from his hands. She sighed, “Hey baby. You want to tell me what’s going through your head?”   
“I don’t know,” Race sobbed quietly, “I’m s-sorry, I d-didn't mean- I thought I c-could…”   
Medda shushed Race, gently pulling him into an embrace. She rocked him slightly as he let out soft sobs. Medda let Race fall asleep in her arms, before quietly asking Jack to help her put him in bed. She gently pulled Race’s covers over him and left the room, signaling for Jack to follow her.   
Medda gestured for Jack to sit with her at the table before starting, “What do you know?”   
Jack frowned, “Not much. He just told me he’s been drinking for nearly two months. He thought he had it under control but…”   
“Do you know how he got the alcohol?” Medda asked.   
Jack nodded, “He said his cousin made him a fake ID. Something about if you find the right store they don’t care.”   
Medda sighed, “Is there anything else I should know?”   
Jack paused, “I think he thought you would get rid of him. He said he didn’t want to leave.”   
“Thank you, Jack. We’re going to have a long weekend. Make sure Gabby and Charlie know you’re not going to go to school tomorrow,” Medda paused, “Tell them it’s a family emergency for now. I doubt Race will remember what happened in the morning and I’d like to talk to him first.”   
“Okay, Mama. I love you,” Jack said, standing up from the table, “Goodnight.”   
“Goodnight, I love you too,” Medda said, pulling Jack into a gentle hug. She watched as Jack retreated into his bedroom. Medda sighed, it was going to be a long couple of days. 

✧✧✧

Race woke up with a splitting headache. He had a feeling something had happened the night before, but he couldn’t quite remember what that was. Race rolled over, only to be met with the unpleasant sight of a grumpy Jack.   
“Morning sleepyhead,” Jack said, “Mama wants to talk to you.”   
“Why?” Race mumbled.   
“Take a guess,” Jack said, “It has something to do with your hangover, by the way.”   
“Jack,” Medda scolded, entering Race’s room, “Do not antagonize Race.”   
“Sorry, Mama,” Jack muttered.   
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to, Jack,” Medda said.   
Reluctantly, Jack turned back to Race, “Sorry.”   
“Good,” Medda gestured toward the door, “Now go make your siblings breakfast. We’ll be out soon,” Medda sat at the edge of Race’s bed, who had pulled on a sweatshirt as he sat up in bed. Medda sighed, “Race, I want to preface this by saying I’m not mad, nor am I disappointed, but I need you to be completely honest now. Do you understand?”   
Race nodded, “Yes.”   
“I’m not sure if you remember this, but last night Jack found you in here and it was clear that you had been drinking,” Medda explained, “He came to get me and explained the little information he got before you passed out. What I need now is the full story. I need to know what you’re struggling with so I can get you the help you need.”   
Race looked into his lap, fiddling with the blankets, before quietly starting, “Drinking. I’ve been drinking a lot.”   
“Why?” Medda asked.   
“I couldn’t sleep one of the first nights I was here, so I went to get some water in the middle of the night, but I saw some of your wine. I’ve had some of my dad’s beer before and it makes me kinda tired, so I thought the wine would be the same,” Race paused, “But it felt really good, like an escape from my shitty life, I guess. Not that living here is shitty, I just feel like an awful person a lot of the time, and drinking helps me forget that for a bit,” Race looked up at Medda, silent tears falling down his face, “I didn’t mean for it to get this bad. I thought I could control myself.”   
“How often do you drink, Race?” Medda questioned.   
“Almost every night,” Race confessed, looking away from Medda.   
Medda sighed, “Is there anything else? Have you been using any other substances?”   
“No, but…” Race took a deep breath, attempting to calm himself down, “But I hurt myself. I don’t usually remember doing it, but I’ve considered it when I’m sober. I guess when I drink it’s easier to act on it. I’m sorry.”   
Medda gently took Race’s hand, “No, baby, don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. It sounds like you have alcoholism sweetheart, and that’s not your fault. It’s understandable for a teen to have a few drinks here and there, you didn't know that you would react differently. Alcoholism is an illness, Race. It needs treatment, just like any other illness,” Medda paused, “As for the self-harm, I’d like you to see a therapist. They'll help you find coping skills.”   
Race sniffed, “You’re not going to send me away?”   
Medda hesitated, “I don’t want to, Race. We can try to get this under control without sending you to inpatient rehabilitation, but if we can’t… if you aren’t able to get better, we’ll have to have a more focused treatment.”   
“If that happened, could I still see everyone?” Race asked, “I don’t think I could… not see my friends and you guys and Gabby.”   
Medda nodded, “Of course, baby. We’re part of the healing process. You don’t have to tell your friends, but they could help you.”   
Race wiped his tears, “I think Jack hates me.”   
Medda smiled sadly, “I’m sure that’s not true, Race. He doesn’t understand, his birth mother was an alcoholic and she did not take proper care of him. He’s a bit prejudiced, but I will make sure he understands it’s not your fault.”   
Race smiled slightly, “Thank you Medda. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.”   
Medda pulled Race into a gentle hug, “Oh, you sweet boy. I am eternally grateful for you and Gabby joining this family, and that includes whatever comes with you.”   
Race slowly pulled away from the hug, “Do we have to tell Gabby and Charlie?”   
Medda nodded, “We can't keep this from them, Race. They deserve to know.”   
“Can we tell them now? I wanna get it over with,” Race said.   
“Of course, baby. Why don’t you get ready real quick and then we can talk before you and I leave,” Medda said.   
“Wait, where are we going?” Race asked.  
“Just a few errands,” Medda said simply before leaving the room.  
Race slid out of bed. He was mad at himself for Jack finding out, but maybe it was for the best. Race got ready, taking a quick shower and pulling on jeans and a hoodie before emerging from his room. It was almost eleven o’clock and Race just realized that it was a Friday and he was supposed to be at school, along with Jack, Crutchie, and Gabby.   
“Race, we’re in the dining room. Come join us,” Medda called.  
Race took a deep breath before joining his family at the dining table. Jack was glaring at Race, not even attempting to hide his discontent. Race attempted to ignore the look as he sat down beside Medda.   
Medda looked at Race, “Would you like me to tell them?” Once she received a shy nod from Race, Medda continued, “I’m going to just go right out and say it, Race is struggling with alcoholism. He has agreed to get help, but we need your support. I’ll have to spend a lot of time taking Race to support groups and other appointments in order for him to get better. This is not up for debate, Race needs this help right now. Do any of you have questions?”   
“I’m confused,” Gabby spoke up, “What’s wrong?”   
Race sighed, “I’m sick, Sorella. But Medda is getting me help, and I’m going to be okay. I just… can’t do it alone right now. I’ve been sick for a little while, but I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t think I was sick, but now I need help. Does that make more sense?”   
Gabby nodded, “I think so.”   
“Will he have to… go to a hospital?” Crutchie said, clearly trying to phrase his question so Gabby would understand.   
“Not yet,” Medda explained, “and maybe not ever. We are trying at-home treatment first, but if that doesn’t work, it’s likely the Race will go to an inpatient facility.” Medda turned towards Jack, “You’ve been awfully quiet, Jack. Do you need to say anything?”   
“I’m not sure it’s completely child-appropriate,” Jack grumbled.   
“Okay then,” Medda turned to Gabby, “We’re going to have some big kid talk that's pretty boring, why don’t you go play in your room, baby.” Medda waited until she heard Gabby’s door shut before turning back to Jack, “Go on now, Jack. It’s okay to feel however you’re feeling.”   
Jack scoffed, “I just don’t understand why you chose to keep drinking, Race.”   
“I didn’t choose to, Jack,” Race said, “Sure, I chose to take that first drink or two, but after that, it felt like something I had to do. I don’t know why, it just was. I convinced myself I had it under control but I just kept drinking and I’m sorry. You probably hate me, but that’s fine because I didn’t mean for this to happen and I’m trying to help myself now and if that’s not good enough, then I don’t need to hear any of your opinions.”   
Jack blinked, clearly not expecting that from Race. He sighed, “I’m sorry, Race. I was being insensitive. I don’t know how you feel, I just… my mom died because of this and I don’t want to lose another person to alcohol.”   
“You’re not going to lose me, Jack. Not unless you keep being a jerk and pushing me away,” Race said.   
Jack laughed lightly, “Yeah, I got it.”   
Race nodded, “Thanks, Jack.”   
Medda stood, “If no one else has any questions, we should head out. I would like to get the alcohol from your room, before we go, Race.”   
“Yeah, okay,” Race said, following Medda to his room. He sighed, “Um… there’s a lot, I stock up so I don’t have to snake out to buy more.” Race cringed. They didn’t know about the sneaking out.   
Medda sighed, “Where do you keep it?”   
Race began pulling out all his hidden alcohol, grimacing as the pile grew on his bed with every bottle, some of which were empty. It took a few minutes, but Race had finally got all his alcohol. Nineteen bottles of liquor and six cases of beer.   
“Jesus,” Jack muttered, a bit too loud.   
Race looked at his feet, ashamed, “Yeah, I guess it’s a lot.”   
Medda began placing the bottles in a garbage bag, “Well then it’s a good thing we’re getting rid of it, right?”   
Race nodded. He was nervous. He wanted to be able to have access to the alcohol if he needed it, which made Race mad. It was stupid that he felt like he needed the alcohol. As long as he could keep up with recovery, everything would work out. Race would make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah.   
> I got so many ideas for this fic and I feel like it's slowly getting out of control (in a good way).   
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> I love reading your comments and Kudos make the heart happy ❤  
> I hope you enjoyed :)


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing to say about this chapter!  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race was shaking. A lot more than usual. He was sweaty and his head was pounding and he just wanted everything to stop. Race had vomited a countless number of times in the last few hours and his throat felt raw and he was barely able to keep down more than a few sips of water. Jack had told Race that he looked like shit, but the worry was clear on everyone’s face. Race felt like he was dying, and he just wanted to fall asleep but he couldn’t even do that. It had barely even been more than a day since his last sip of alcohol, and Race was already itching for more. It would help him feel better, it always did.   
“Race, baby,” Medda started, gently brushing Race’s wet curls out of his face, “Are you sure you don’t want to try an inpatient for a few days? It’ll hel-”   
“No!” Race exclaimed, “Not yet, I’m fine. It’ll go away eventually.”   
Medda sighed, “Alright, we’ll stay here for now.”   
Race fell back further into his pillows, whispering, “Thank you, Medda.”   
Sure enough, by Monday Race felt a lot better, although he was still shaky and found it more difficult to concentrate than usual. Especially considering Race had been restraining himself all weekend from just bolting and buying more alcohol, even though he wouldn’t have gotten very far in his slightly feverish state.   
So instead, here Race was, walking into school with Jack and Crutchie practically glued to his side as they went to drop Race off at his first class. Race thought they were being a bit overprotective but somehow managed to keep his mouth shut on the matter.   
“Katherine said she’ll be here in a minute,” Jack said, “Crutch, you could probably head out. I’ll just stay until Kat gets here.”   
“Alright,” Crutchie nodded, “Text me if you need anything, Racer.”   
Race nodded as he watched Crutchie leave, all too aware of Jack's eyes on him. Race let out a frustrated sigh, “It’s one thing to walk me to every class, but do you have to keep your eyes on me every second?”   
Jack rolled his eyes, “I’m just worried, Racetrack. I can see the way you’re twitching, you clearly want a drink.”   
“So what? It ain’t like I’m just gonna walk out of school to get one,” Race snapped.   
“Well I ain’t sure about that, Race,” Jack argued, “Besides, Mama will feel better if someone’s with you all the time.”   
“So, what? You all gonna watch me piss now too?” Race hissed.   
“Why would anyone watch you piss?” Katherine asked, disgusted, as she walked into the room, “When Jack told me to get here early, I did not agree to that.”   
“That ain’t why you’re here early, Kat,” Jack sighed, “I’ll let Racer explain it to you. I gotta head to my class. Meet me by the doors right after school, Race. Don’t be late.”   
“What do you need to explain?” Katherine questioned, “Does this have to do with that weird text Jack sent in the group chat?”   
“Yeah,” Race hesitated, “I don’t want to tell everyone… but I trust you.”   
“Okay,” Katherine said gently, “You’re starting to scare me, Tony.”   
Race let out a breathy laugh, “Maybe you should be scared. I kinda fucked up.”   
“Just tell me, I won’t get mad at you,” Katherine insisted.   
“Okay… I… I have a drinking problem,” Race muttered, just loud enough for Katherine to hear him.   
“Oh,” Katherine paused, “I guess that’s not what I expected.”   
“I’m sorry, Kath,” Race looked down at his hands, “That’s why we were gone on Friday. Jack found me drunk in my room. I don’t even remember it.”   
Katherin gently took Race’s hand, “Just tell me what I can do to help, and I’ll do it. I love you Tony and I’m proud of you for facing this.”   
“Thanks,” Race said, quickly wiping a tear from his cheek, “I think Jack’s telling everyone but you and Albert. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t think I could actually tell Spot.”   
“Tell me what?” Spot asked, sliding into the seat beside Race.  
“About what happened this weekend,” Race answered simply.   
Spot nodded, “Yeah, Jack just told me. He caught me outside before I came in here.”   
Race looked down, “I understand if you want to take a break or something.”  
“What? No,” Spot said quickly, "I would never break up with you over this. I think that would be a dick move to be honest.”   
Race let out a watery laugh, “Thanks, Spotty.”   
Sure, Race was struggling but he was getting better, and his friends were helping him through that and he wasn’t going to fuck it up.

✧✧✧

Race fucked it up, no surprise there. He had been sober for about a week but he also hadn’t slept much in that amount of time. He was exhausted and desperate, so he snuck out. This time, Race made sure everyone was asleep before he left. He was gladly able to get down the fire escape without incident due to his cast being removed a few days before. He had brought only about fifteen dollars with him, enough to get him a cheap bottle of vodka or two.   
And that’s exactly what Race did. He bought a bottle of vodka and stupidly decided to start drinking before he got back. He was clearly buzzed, any passerby could see. Most of them didn’t care. It was one in the morning, there were plenty of drunks stumbling around. However, when you happen to actually look like you’re underage, a cop might stop you.   
That’s how Race found himself sitting in the back of a police car, handcuffed. He was smart enough to go without a struggle, so at least Medda wouldn’t be mad about an extra charge. Race could hear the police officer attempting to ask him questions, but Race ignored them. They all sounded kinda jumbled at the moment. Of course, Race had his wallet on him, and he had his driver's permit that proved his age. But he also had a bottle of vodka that he was holding when the officer had stopped him.   
Soon, Race found himself being ushered into a precinct, the same one he had gone to when he ran away. Race could barely register being put through the booking process before he was in front of a phone and being told that he had one phone call. By this time, Race had started to sober up a bit. His hand shook slightly as he dialed Medda’s number, hoping she would be awake.   
After a few seconds, the phone clicked, allowing Medda’s groggy voice through, “Hello?”   
Race sighed, “Hi, Medda.”   
“Race, what the hell are you doing at the police station at two in the morning?” Medda asked, slight anger clear in her voice.   
“I don’t know,” Race slurred.   
“Were you drinking?” Medda questioned.  
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Race said, his voice breaking, “It just felt good.”   
“Alright, I’m on my way, baby,” Medda assured, “We’ll figure this out.”   
“Thanks, Medda,” Race looked over at the officer, who was signaling that the call was over, “I have to go. I’m sorry.”   
Race clicked off of the phone, not wanting to hear anything else from Medda. He was taken to a holding cell and left to wait. Race let his face fall into his hands, he had really fucked up this time. He had really tried to stop, he didn’t understand why it was so hard for him. He had quit smoking, why would drinking be any different? Race could feel himself slowly sobering up, which made the overwhelming dread come back in full force. This was going to be on his record. People at school were going to find out. Race felt like his life was over.   
Race didn’t know how long it had been since he had arrived, but he was brought out of his thoughts when an officer came to get him, telling Race someone had paid his bail. Race followed the officer through the precinct, eventually being met with a waiting Medda. She silently handed Race his coat before nodding at the officer and guiding Race outside.   
Race got into the car, unsettled by Medda’s harsh silence. It was clear she was upset, and Race couldn’t blame her. She had gotten a call that her newly adopted son had been arrested at two in the morning and she had spent about three hours getting Race out.   
“I’m sorry,” Race whispered.   
Medda sighed, “I am too, Race. I can’t help but think we could have avoided this. I was trying to respect your wishes. You didn’t want to go to rehab, you told me you could do it at home. But now it’s clear you can’t. I’m sorry Race, but we’re going to look for a rehab facility to send you to. You need more direct help.”   
Race nodded, “I understand. I know I messed up, I’m sorry Medda.”   
“You know I’m just doing this because I love you. I don’t want to lose you, even if that means that means you have to live away for a little while,” Medda explained.   
“I know, Medda,” Race said, tears stinging his eyes, “I love you too.”   
The two sat in silence the rest of the way home. Medda instructed Race to try and get some sleep, despite both of them doubting that would happen. Surprisingly, Race managed to sleep for a couple of hours before emerging from his room. He awkwardly walked into the living room, being met with a sleepy Jack and Medda.   
Medda looked up when Race entered, “Come here, Race. I have a couple of places I want you to see.”   
Race sat on the couch, scrolling through the options. They looked almost the same to him, so he handed the tablet back to Medda before saying, “I think they both look fine.”   
Medda nodded, “Well this one can get you in today. I know it’s sudden, but it has to be done.”   
Race sighed, “Okay. That works.”   
“I’ll call right now,” Medda said, stepping out of the room.   
“What’re ya talkin’ ‘bout?” Jack asked, his accent thick due to his tired state.  
“I’m going to rehab,” Race answered, “today.”   
That seemed to wake Jack, as he quickly sat up, “What?”   
Race looked down, embarrassed, “I kinda got arrested last night.”   
“Is that why Mama woke me up at two in the morning?” Jack questioned.   
“Yeah,” Race cringed, “Sorry about that.”   
“Are you going to be okay? I thought you didn’t want to go to rehab,” Jack said.   
“I didn’t, but I think it’s for the best,” Race admitted.   
“Does anyone know?” Jack asked.   
“No, just you and Medda right now,” Race said, “Crutchie and Gabby will know soon.”   
“They can admit you any time now, Race,” Medda announced, walking back into the living room, “They told me that you should only bring the bare minimum right now, clothes, toiletries, sheets, and one or two comfort items if you have them. We can bring more later if you want.”   
“What about school?” Race asked, “I don’t want to fail any classes.”   
“I will work things out with your school,” Medda assured, “You need to focus on treatment right now.”   
An hour later, Race found himself in the car with his family. They were headed to a rehab center that Race had already forgotten the name of and he really did not want to go. Medda had explained the situation to Gabby and Crutchie, though it was clear Gabby didn’t fully understand.   
Race sighed as Medda pulled into the parking lot. She got out of the car, gesturing for everyone else to follow her inside. The center was nice enough, based on the small entryway and front desk. The receptionist looked far too happy to be working at a place full of addicted teens, but Race ignored that fact.   
“Hi, I’m here to admit Anthony Higgins. I called earlier,” Medda said, approaching the front desk.   
“Oh, of course,” The receptionist exclaimed, “I’m Julie, I work at the front desk most of the time, so you’ll be seeing me when you visit. Your nurse should be here soon, Anthony.”   
The nurse was there soon, as he walked into the lobby right after Julie mentioned him. He approached the group, “Hi, I’m Darcy. Which one of you is Anthony?” Darcy clearly did not miss Race’s slight flinch at the name because he quickly added, “Is there something else you’d like to be called?”   
“Um, Race,” Race answered.   
“Great,” Darcy said with a smile, “If you will all follow me, we can get Race situated and do his survey. Hopefully, we will be done by lunch.”   
Race followed Darcy through heavy doors that definitely looked like they locked from the inside and into a hallway to the right of said doors. Darcy stopped in front of a door, knocking twice and pausing before opening it.   
Darcy stopped by a large window, allowing everyone to filter in before speaking, “This is your room, Race. You’re sharing with Blink and Tommy. They’re in group therapy for the next hour, so we should be able to get you situated. We do admit all genders here, but you are on the predominantly male side of the center. We have up to eighteen people here at a time, you are our eighteenth patient. Depending on how the survey goes it will determine how your treatment takes place and how long it will be. Does anyone have any questions?” After receiving near-complete silence, Darcy continued, “I will let you get situated. I’ll be back in about ten minutes, okay?”   
Race nodded, “Thank you.”   
“No problem kid,” Darcy said, before retreating from the room.   
Race glanced around the room. The other two kids had a bunch of decorations up on their side, but Race’s section was just bland. He sighed, placing his duffle bag lightly on the floor.   
“I’ll make your bed, Race. Why don’t you put your clothes away,” Medda said, taking out Race’s sheets.   
Race nodded, doing as he was told. He really didn’t want to be here, but it was clear that he could no longer control himself. He had been drunk in a police station just this morning and now Race was here, practically cut off from the rest of the world. Just another thing to add to his long list of problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah.  
> Kinda fun. We love getting help.   
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> I love reading your comments and kudos are welcome ❤  
> I hope you liked the chapter :)


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing to say about this chapter!  
> Hope you enjoy :)

“A month?!” Race exclaimed, “I didn’t agree to this. I thought it was going to be a week or two. Medda I-”   
“Race,” Medda interrupted gently, “This is for your own good. I’m sorry.”   
Race slumped back into his chair, clearly pissed. First, he just had to get addicted to alcohol and now he has to be cut off from the rest of the world. Race was frustrated, to say the least.   
Darcy cleared his throat, “Well, if there’s nothing else at the moment, let’s head back for your room check,” Darcy stood and opened the door, allowing Race and Medda through, “There are some restrictions here for your safety and for the safety of all our patients. Mainly no strings, that includes hoodies, sweatpants, shoelaces, etc. I’ll take them out for you in a minute. If there are any clothes you don’t want the string taken out of, I’d recommend your mother bring them home tonight. No phone or other electronics. No weapons, which includes razors for shaving, and most importantly, no alcohol.”   
Race scoffed, “Ain’t that the reason I’m here?”   
“Yes, but we’ve had patients in the past try to sneak in some substances, usually in toiletry bottles. I’ll also have to check those,” Darcy paused, looking at his watch, “Tommy and Blink are probably returning from group therapy any time now, are you alright with them being in the room for the check?”   
Race shrugged, “I guess. Gotta meet them sometime.”   
Race sat awkwardly as he let Darcy and Medda go through all his stuff. He watched, just in case there was anything Race wanted Medda to take home. Medda had asked Jack to take Crutchie and Gabby to get an early lunch while they finished getting Race checked in. Race looked up as two boys entered the room.   
“Oh shit,” One of them said, “We didn’t know someone was moving in. We can leave.”   
“It’s alright Blink,” Darcy assured, “Come on in, boys.”   
The boy with an eyepatch stepped forward, “I’m Kid Blink, but you can just call me Blink.”   
The other boy cleared his throat, “I’m Tommy Boy. You can call me Tommy.”   
“I’m Racetrack,” Race said, “I usually go by Race.”   
“How long you in for?” Tommy asked, sitting on what Race assumed was his bed.  
“A month,” Race said, “For now.”   
“What for?” Blink questioned.   
“Alcohol. You?” Race said.   
“Classic Heroin here,” Blink explained, “My ma was addicted and got me hooked before my pa got custody.”   
“Meth. I fell into the wrong crowd,” Tommy revealed, “My foster dad sent me here after he found out. Sweet old man, but he runs a group home and probably can’t keep my spot for when I get out.”   
Race looked up at this, “What’s his name?”   
“Todd Kloppman,” Tommy answered, “Why, ya know him?”   
“Yeah, I was there a couple of weeks before Medda could take me in,” Race smiled, “Do they ever visit? I haven’t seen most of the boys except Elmer and JoJo in a while.”  
“Oh yeah, they visit once a week,” Tommy paused, “Wait, are you the kid that got stabbed?”   
Race snorted, “That would be me.”   
“Hold on,” Blink interrupted, “You got stabbed. Why?”   
“I mean it wasn’t exactly supposed to be a stabbing,” Race explained, “It was accidental. I rolled into a shard of glass that my dad broke while he was… hitting me.” Race decided to leave the specifics for another day.   
“Rough,” Blink said.   
“Alright, boys,” Darcy said, “Race is all settled in for the first few days. I’d like to talk to you three about a few things as you get situated,” Darcy gestured for all three of them to sit, before continuing, “Medda told me your withdrawal was pretty rough the first time, Race, and it’s not going to get any easier. You need to take it easy for a few days or it’ll be worse,” Darcy turned to Blink and Tommy, “If Race gets anywhere past a bit shaky and sweaty, I need you to come get me. And if you’re uncertain, come get me anyway. Do you understand?” After all three boys nodded, Darcy sighed, “Alright. Blink, Tommy, go get some lunch and check your schedule for the afternoon. Race, it’s time to say goodbye to your family for the day.”   
Race stood, walking by Medda’s side as Darcy led them to the family room, where Jack, Crutchie, and Gabby were waiting. Race took several deep breaths as he approached them, they still didn’t know how long Race was staying. Race’s friends didn’t even know he was here. Maybe Spot actually would break up with him for this.   
“Hey, Racer,” Jack said, smiling as Race sat down at the table next to Gabby.   
“Hey,” Race muttered.   
“We have to say our goodbyes, for now, kids,” Medda said gently.   
“Why now?” Crutchie asked, “I thought visitor hours ended at eight.”   
“Race needs some time to settle in without us,” Medda explained.  
“How long are you going to be here?” Gabby asked, looking up at Race.   
Race sighed, “About a month, Sorella. But you can visit me every weekend and sometimes during the week.”   
“Wait, a month?” Jack questioned, glancing at Medda, “I didn’t think it was going to be that long.”   
Race shrugged, “They said that’s what I need right now. Will you tell everyone? I won’t have my phone.”   
Jack nodded, “Yeah, me and Crutch got it. Can they visit?”   
Race turned to where Darcy was standing in the doorway, “Can my friends visit me?”   
“Yeah, as long as they are approved by Medda and bring their IDs,” Darcy responded, “Weekends are the only time for them to visit since you need to be focused on your treatment most of the week.”  
“I’ll make sure your friends are approved when we leave,” Medda assured.   
“Speaking of leaving,” Darcy started, “I think it’s best to wrap this up. I’m aware that sounds a bit harsh, but it’ll be easier for Race to adjust.”   
Race nodded, “I guess I’ll see you guys soon then.”   
Medda sighed, bringing Race into a hug, “I love you, Race. You are strong, baby.”   
“Thank you, Medda,” Race slowly pulled away, “I love you too.”   
Race got quick hugs from Jack and Crutchie before turning to Gabby. It was clear she was upset and trying to hide it. Race sighed, grabbing Gabby’s hand gently, “Can you tell me what you’re thinking of, Sorella?”  
“Do you have to be gone for a month, Tony?” Gabby asked, her voice quiet.   
“I’m sick Gabby, remember? I just need to get some help for a little while and then we can spend every day together if you want,” Race smiled, “I’m a bit annoying though, so you might get tired of me.”   
Gabby laughed lightly, “I won’t get tired of you.”   
“I’m sure you won’t, Sorella. I love you,” Race said, pulling Gabby into a hug.   
“I love you too, Tony,” Gabby whispered.   
Race let Gabby pull away a minute later. He gently wiped the tears off her cheeks before looking up at Medda, silently asking her to take Gabby. Medda seemed to understand as she soon grabbed Gabby’s hand and led her, Jack, and Crutchie outside. And Race was once again alone. Well, not exactly alone, Darcy was still standing there, probably ready to take Race to his room or something.   
“Race?” Darcy started, “You want to grab some lunch? Blink and Tommy might still be eating.”   
Race nodded, “Yeah, that sounds good.”   
“Something on your mind?” Darcy asked as he led Race towards the cafeteria.   
“Yeah,” Race sighed, “I just… I know I’ll see them soon and I know my friends will visit, but… I’m missing so much. So much could happen in a month and I’m missing all of it.”   
“I understand, Race-” Darcy started.   
Race scoffed, “Do you?” Race quickly added, “Sorry that was rude, I shouldn’t have said that.”   
“I can understand your anger and speculation,” Darcy said, “But believe it or not, I was in a similar situation as you about ten years ago. That’s why I got into this line of work, I want to help kids that are going through what I went through.”   
Race looked down, “Sorry.”   
“About what?” Darcy asked, opening the cafeteria door.   
“For assuming,” Race said.   
“You apologize a lot,” Darcy commented.  
“I guess that’s what happens when you try to avoid a beating from your father every day for ten years,” Race said.   
“I’m assuming Medda isn’t your birth mother for…” Darcy looked Race up and down, “for obvious reasons.”   
“Yeah, my mom’s dead,” Race explained, “Gabby’s my biological sister, and Jack and Cru- Charlie are my adopted brothers.”   
“Charlie go by a different name?” Darcy questioned.   
“Some of us call him Crutchie, he told us to call him that when he somehow got polio in grade school,” Race said, “Medda took him in soon after that since Crutch’s dad said some bullshit about not wanting a deformed son.”   
“And Jack?” Darcy asked, “He have a story?”   
Race nodded, “His birth mom was a single mother, but she developed alcoholism and gave him away because she couldn’t take care of him. She died a few months after he went into foster care.”   
“What about you?” Darcy grabbed Race a sandwich and apple, “what’s your story?”   
“My mom died when I was young, about a year after Gabby was born. Gabby’s nine, almost ten. My dad wasn’t ever nice, he hit me when I was little, but it got worse when mama died,” Race sighed, “My dad got married again, but he hurt her too. She ran a little while before I got put in foster care.”   
“Did your father ever hurt Gabby?” Darcy questioned.   
“Only once, right before my stepmom ran,” Race answered, “But he mostly hurt me. I ran one time because he was really angry, but I still went back. He burnt me that night.”   
“Burnt you?” Darcy said, confusion clear in his voice.   
“Cigarettes,” Race said, “He put out his cigarettes on my back.”   
“Oh,” Darcy cleared his throat, “Have you talked to anyone about this?”   
Race looked up at Darcy, “I’m talking to you?”   
“I mean like a therapist,” Darcy clarified, “So you can work through the trauma.”   
Race scoffed, “I ain’t traumatized.”   
Darcy sighed, “You may not think you are, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t. It’s okay to experience trauma and it’s even better to work through it. I’ll schedule you to see Dr. Hearst tomorrow.”   
Race nodded reluctantly, opting to eat his sandwich instead of continuing the conversation with Darcy. Race wasn’t particularly hungry at the moment, but he kinda thought Darcy would be upset if he didn’t eat. After Race finished he quietly asked, “Is there anything else I have to do today?”   
Darcy shook his head, “You can head back to your room or go to the main room, the tv is usually on.”   
“I’ll just head back to my room,” Race answered, standing up, “Thanks, Darcy. See ya later.”   
Race went back to his room, collapsing on his bed. It had been a long day and it wasn’t even over yet. He just wondered when he would be able to see his friends, he wasn’t sure if they’d be allowed tomorrow since Race was still settling in. Race groaned, his head was aching. He decided to take a nap and snuggled into his sheets, relishing in the smell of home that he was already missing so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun.   
> I don't really have much to say. I'm thinking of making like a side series of sorts that's about what happens while Race is at rehab and each chapter would be from a different character's POV. Idk, still debating.   
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!   
> I love reading y'all's comments ❤  
> I hope you enjoyed :)


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing to say about this chapter!  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race felt completely awful. He could tell he was at the peak of his withdrawal, but it was the middle of the night and he couldn’t get up. He could see Blink and Tommy sleeping soundly, blissfully unaware of Race’s near-silent torment. He was in so much fucking pain it was almost ridiculous.   
Race could feel his sheets getting damp with his sweat, and maybe a little vomit, and that made him feel worse. He felt disgusting and he knew that Blink and Tommy would wake up to Race like this, but he couldn’t do anything. All Race could do was wait. Sure, maybe he might be able to lightly call for some help, but his throat was raw and he didn’t want to disturb anyone else.   
Eventually, light flooded through the small gap in the window blinds and Tommy and Blink began to stir. Although completely exhausted, Race didn’t sleep at all during the night. He just laid miserably on his bed. Race glanced over at a sudden movement from Tommy’s bed. Race sighed in relief as he realized Tommy was awake, although he still hadn’t noticed Race’s distress.   
Tommy finally seemed to notice Race’s eyes on him as he turned towards him with a confused look. Tommy rubbed at his eyes, “Good morning?”   
Race shook his head and rasped, “Get Darcy.”   
Tommy’s eyes widened, “Oh… oh shit, yeah. I’ll be right back.”   
Race leaned further back into his bed, despite the movement sending shooting pain through his head. Race groaned, covering his eyes from the bright light Tommy had turned on while leaving. To say Race felt like shit was an extreme understatement.   
Tommy returned a few minutes later, Darcy trailing closely behind him. Darcy quickly whispered something to Tommy, but Race couldn’t catch it. Darcy kneeled next to Race’s bed, narrowly missing some of the half-dried vomit on the ground. Darcy sighed, “Do you know how long you’ve been feeling like this Race?” After Race shook his head, Darcy continued, “You’re experiencing withdrawal again, Race. Seems Medda was right about it being bad, but nothing too out of the ordinary. I’d just try to rest for the next day or two. I’ll check on you every hour. Any questions, Race?”   
Race cleared his aching throat, “Do you have water?”   
“Of course, I’ll get you some and we’ll see if you feel up to eating something later,” Darcy explained, “I told Tommy and Blink to try and stay out of the room for today, you need to try and rest. Do you want any books or something?”   
“Books,” Race croaked, “And cards if you have them. Thank you.”   
Race watched as Darcy nodded and left the room. Race collapsed further into his bed, still exhausted but unable to sleep. This was going to be a long month. 

✧✧✧

Race waited anxiously in the visitor room for his family and friends. After a rough start, Race was beginning to adjust to life in rehab. It was enjoyable, but he had made friends in Tommy and Blink and had started to warm up to a girl named Smalls that he met in group therapy two days ago. All that was good, of course, but Race just wanted to see his friends and family. Medda had promised that they would try and visit both Saturday and Sunday, but Gabby had a birthday party today that Race insisted she go to.   
Race smiled as Medda, Jack, and Crutchie walked in. Medda drew him into a hug whispering, “I missed you, Race. And you’re better at helping around the house than these two,” Medda gestured back at Jack and Crutchie.   
“I wouldn’t say that, Mama,” Jack defended.   
“I would,” Crutchie said, “You don’t do shit, Jackie.”   
Race snorted, “Good to see not much has changed. Anything I’ve missed at school?”   
“Just the rumors,” Jack shrugged, “Everyone thinks you went to Juvie again.”   
Race cringed, “Yeah, I’m sure that me actually getting arrested this time doesn’t help my case.”   
“Yeah, maybe not,” Crutchie laughed lightly.   
Race opened his mouth to say something before he saw Katherine walk in from the corner of his eye. She practically sprinted to him, engulfing Race in a tight hug.   
“Oh my god,” Katherine nearly squealed, “I missed you. School is so boring without you there.”   
“Really?” Race questioned, “You always complain about how I distract you so much that you’ll fail the class.”   
Katherine laughed, “Well, I revoke every time I told you that.”   
Jack scoffed, “That ain’t how it works, Kat.”   
“It is now, Jack,” Katherine said, “I also revoke our relationship ever happening.”   
“That… wait, no that ain’t how it works either,” Jack sputtered.   
“I’m with Kath on this one, Jackie,” Race said.  
“That’s just cause she’s your best friend,” Jack pouted.   
“What of it, Kelly?” Race laughed, “Are you jealous?”   
Everyone laughed as Jack attempted to defend himself, though that failed majorly. Race was disappointed to hear that many of his friends' parents didn’t want them to visit Race because they decided he was a bad influence. That, sadly, included Albert’s parents, who already didn’t like Race. But nobody knew if Spot was ever going to visit. Jack had begrudgingly told Spot about Race’s situation, but Spot kept a neutral face the entire exchange.   
Race’s fears were soon put to rest as Spot pretty much sauntered into the room. Medda quietly directed everyone to give them some time alone, but Race wasn’t paying attention to that. As Spot got closer, Race couldn’t help but feel something was off. Although often hard to read, Race could usually tell what Spot was thinking or feeling. But today, he had no clue.   
“Hey,” Spot said as he approached Race.   
“Hi,” Race responded, “Do you wanna, um… sit?” Race gestured to a table nearby.   
“Sure, sure,” Spot nodded, following Race to sit at said table.   
Race sighed, “What’s wrong?”   
“What do you mean?” Spot said, clearly pretending to be oblivious.   
“You’re never like this,” Race exclaimed, “I can understand if you want to take a break or something. I’m going to be here for a month or more, and you can only see me on weekends and if that’s not-”   
“Stop,” Spot interrupted, “That’s not it, Racer.”   
“Then what is it?” Race asked, “I can’t do anything if I don’t know what-”   
“I don’t like it,” Spot said simply.   
“What?” Race questioned.   
“I don’t like you being here, alone,” Spot mumbled, “Because that makes me feel alone too and now I’m making it about myself. I can’t even fucking comfort you or shit.”   
“Spot,” Race said gently, “I want to know how you feel. It isn’t ideal to have your boyfriend locked away in rehab, but there are worse things.”   
“Like what?” Spot asked stubbornly.  
Race sighed, “I could’ve gone to Juvie. Or I could’ve died.”   
“Okay, well when you put it like that,” Spot rolled his eyes, “I just miss you. I ain’t as close with the rest of your friends yet and Jack fucking hates me.”   
“I don’t think-”   
“He hates me, Racer,” Spot interrupted, “Absolutely despises me. Not that I blame him. I’m kinda a dick sometimes. But Jackie-boy ain’t a saint either and-”   
“Spot,” Race laughed, “I don’t know what kind of rivalry is happening between you and Jack, but everyone fucking loves it. It’s hilarious. The way you two glare at each other across the lunch table is ridiculous…” Race trailed off, realizing that he would be missing a month of sitting with his friends at lunch. Not only that, but he wouldn’t even see a bunch of his friends for a month.   
Spot gently grabbed Race’s hand, “Baby, I don’t know what’s going through your mind right now, but I can tell you that everyone misses you. Half of lunch is almost silent without you talking our ears off. Everyone wishes they could come see you, especially Albert.”   
Race burst into tears that he wasn’t aware he’d been holding back. He could feel Spot gently pull Race into a hug. Race whimpered, “I’m sorry, Spot. I- I just…”   
“It’s okay, love. It’s okay,” Spot assured, “Just remember that if you tell anyone I have a soft side, I won’t be happy.”   
Race let out a wet laugh, “Are ya gonna soak me?”   
“Pretty sure my shirt is too soaked to think about that right now, baby,” Spot responded.   
Race gently pulled away, “Shit, sorry.”   
“It’s okay, Racer.”   
“Thanks for… that,” Race said, “I guess I just needed a good cry.”   
“Don’t we all,” Spot sighed, “I’m sorry I came so late, my ma made me make cookies with her because she said we don’t bond enough or something.”   
Race snorted, then coughed because of all the mucus from crying, “That’s kinda funny.”   
“Yeah, I guess,” Spot agreed, “I just wanted to spend time with you, though.”   
“Oh my god, you’re such a sap,” Race exclaimed.   
“Yeah, maybe I am,” Spot admitted, before quickly adding, “don’t tell anyone.”   
“Why not?” Race whined, “You have some sort of tough-guy ego to uphold?”   
“As a matter of fact,” Spot paused to kiss Race’s cheek lightly, “I do.”   
“Oh come on. I ain’t seen you in over a week and all I get is a kiss on the cheek?” Race complained.   
“God, you’re needy sometimes,” Spot joked before pulling Race into a deeper kiss.   
Race pulled away after a moment, smiling down at Spot, “I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I’m assuming it’s not fun to have an alcoholic boyfriend.”   
Spot shrugged, “Maybe not, but I’m not going anywhere Racer.”   
“Neither am I,” Race cringed, “In more than one way, I guess.”   
Spot laughed lightly, “I have to head home, I’ll see you later, Racer,” Spot sighed, “Get better, I want to be able to spend as much time with you as I can.”   
Race nodded, watching as Spot silently left the room, turning back to wave before he was gone. Race’s family and Katherine came back a minute later.   
Medda pulled Race into a light hug, “We have to head out, baby. We’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”   
“Yeah, okay,” Race mumbled, “I love you.”   
“We love you too, Race,” Medda smiled.   
Race exchanged brief hugs with the rest of his family before they left. He realized he had about half an hour before group therapy and nothing to do to fill the time. He wandered the halls, attempting to pass the time.   
“Hey, dumbass,” Smalls said, sneaking up on Race.   
Race jumped, “Jesus, Smalls. Warn me next time.”   
“Oh, but that ruins the fun,” Smalls laughed.   
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Race rolled his eyes, “Did you need something?”   
“Not really, my roommate just doesn’t care for me and I don’t want to subject myself to her moodiness,” Smalls stated, “Anyways, was that your family?”   
Race nodded, “Yeah. I don’t know if you saw him, but my boyfriend was here early and so was my best friend.”   
“Ain’t you popular,” Smalls commented, “My parents all but disowned me. I only see my older siblings now.”   
“That sucks,” Race sighed, “Yeah, my dad probably would’ve loved sending me here and disowning me.”   
Smalls snorted, “We got more in common each day, Racetrack. You don’t really look like your family, what’s up with that?”   
“I got adopted,” Race explained, “Medda’s my new mom, Jack and Charlie are my brothers. I also have a biological sister who got adopted too. Her name’s Gabby.”   
“Damn, got room for one more?” Smalls joked, “My brother definitely does not want to take care of me when I get outta here.”   
“Honestly, if you met Medda I bet she’d adopt you in a second,” Race smiled, “Do you think you’re going to go into foster care?”   
Smalls nodded slightly, “Probably. My brother hasn’t said anything but he has three kids of his own and his wife can’t work. I don’t know… I’d feel bad if they had to take care of me too.”   
“Look, I know it’s weird and it might not happen but,” Race paused, “Foster care is shit, and Medda has space and she keeps renewing her license just in case, so even if it’s not permanent, I bet she could take care of you for a little bit.”   
Smalls looked up at Race, “Wait really?”   
“No promises, but she’s kinda rich and she’s like the sweetest person ever…” Race trailed off, slightly regretting getting Smalls’ hopes up. What if Medda couldn’t take care of another kid? Five kids was a lot.   
“Oh my god, Race. I love you,” Smalls squealed, hugging Race tightly.   
“Okay, chill,” Race said with a laugh, “I have a boyfriend.”   
“Okay, gross. I would never date you,” Smalls exclaimed.   
“That’s a bit rude,” Race protested, “Am I that revolting?”   
“Yes,” Smalls deadpanned, “Yes, you are.”   
“Okay, I see how it is,” Race glanced at the clock, “Guess what time it is?”   
“Group therapy for all the alcoholics?” Smalls questioned.  
“Oh my god, you got it,” Race exclaimed, “You should go on a game show or something.”   
Smalls looked up at Race, “What kind of game show makes you guess what time it is?”   
“Shut up, I don’t watch tv,” Race defended.  
“Get a life, loser,” Smalls teased.   
“Pardon you, I had a life before I came to rehab,” Race proclaimed, “In fact, it was very fun and entertaining.”   
“Too bad alcohol fucked it up,” Smalls said, opening the door to the group therapy room.  
Race snorted, “Yeah, too bad.”   
Race and Smalls quieted down as more people trailed in. Race didn’t particularly care for group therapy, but it was better than what he assumed family therapy was like. That was Monday night and Race did not want to talk about his feelings or hear any brutal truths from his family because that also sucks. At least he would be one day closer to getting out, and Race really wanted to leave. As long as he focused on getting better, everything would turn out fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's that.   
> I was stressed AND depressed this weekend, so I didn't post.   
> I love Smalls, idk why.   
> Anyway, let me know if I missed any tags!   
> I love reading comments ❤  
> I hope you enjoyed :)


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing to say about this chapter!  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Okay, so maybe everything would not turn out fine. Race was nearly halfway through his treatment and he didn’t really feel like he was getting any better. Also, Tommy was getting out the next day which would leave Race with only Blink and Smalls. Race did not exactly want to make friends here, so he basically limited himself with those three people and now one of them was leaving. Life just had to kick Race while he was down.   
On the bright side, Medda had agreed to take in Smalls when she got out, after receiving permission from Smalls’ siblings. Race was overjoyed for Smalls, but at the same time, Smalls was going to get out over a week before Race and Race would be alone with Blink and whatever roommate came along. So Race had a constant self-pity party in his head and pretending to be fine whenever said pity party became more apparent.   
At least Albert had finally convinced his parents to let him visit Race. He was coming on Saturday and Race was way too excited about it. Darcy had actually pulled him aside that morning to ask if Race had taken anything. Race denied it, but Darcy still made him take a drug test “just in case”. Honestly, Race was just ready to be done with everything. 

✧✧✧

Race grinned wildly as he practically ran towards the visiting room. After over two weeks, Race was finally going to see Albert and he was beyond ecstatic. He practically flung open the doors. Being met with the smiling face of one of his best friends. Race launched himself at Albert, nearly toppling him as they embraced.   
Albert laughed, pulling away, “Damn, you missed me that much?”   
Race nodded, “Jack is so fucking annoying when he visits.”   
Albert snorted, “Are they coming today?”   
“No,” Race mumbled, “Medda’s theatre is opening up a new show and they’re all going to that today.”   
“Oh, shit,” Albert dragged a hand through his hair, “I’m sorry ‘bout that.”   
Race shrugged, “It’s alright. I probably couldn’t have gone anyway.”   
“And why is that?”   
“I’d probably be hungover or something,” Race muttered.   
Albert nodded, “So, this… alcohol thing. Is it bad? Were you…”   
“It’s bad,” Race answered, “Or was, I guess. I was hungover a lot. Almost every day, actually. I don’t know where I would be if I wasn’t here.”   
Albert looked at Race, “What do you mean?”   
“I just…” Race paused, “I don’t know, man. I could be dead or in juvie. Fuck, I almost got my license, Al. I could’ve fucking drunk drove or some other stupid shit.”   
Albert nodded, “I’m glad you're still here. I don’t know what I’d do if something bad happened to you.”   
“Probably something stupid,” Race looked at Albert, sighing, “What was it like? When I was… asleep.”   
“It was fucking awful, Racer,” Albert confessed, “Everyone was on edge all the time. We didn’t know what was gonna happen. And it didn’t help that the Delancey’s fucking joked about it. Like it was no big deal or something.”   
Race looked down guilty, “I’m sorry.”   
“What?” Albert said, “There’s no reason for you to be sorry, Racer. You were in a coma for fucks sake.”   
“Wait what?”  
Race looked up at the voice that had interrupted them. He smiled slightly, “Hey Smalls. This is Albert.”   
“Nice to meet ya, Albo,” Smalls said, collapsing in the chair next to Race, “Now back to the whole coma thing.”   
“It was just a week or so,” Race explained, “I don’t remember anything if that’s what you’re wondering.”   
“I feel like I should be concerned,” Smalls said, more serious than Race had ever seen her, “What happened? Wait, you don’t have to answer that.”   
“No, it’s okay,” Race insisted, “You’ll probably find out eventually,” So Race continued, telling the story that just kept getting told. Albert filled in a few parts that Race blanked on, but after a few minutes, they were done, leaving Smalls shocked.   
“Jesus, Race,” Smalls whispered.   
“Yeah… it’s a lot,” Race sighed.   
“So, Smalls,” Albert started, after a few minutes of silence, “Tell me about you?”  
“Like what? My favorite color or childhood trauma,” Smalls joked.   
Albert laughed, “I don’t know, favorite color.”   
“Green,” Smalls said, “Specifically like a dark forest green.”   
Albert opened his mouth, then paused, looking at Race, “I don’t know how to make small talk.”   
Race snorted, “This is why you're single, Al.”   
“It most certainly is not,” Albert defended.   
“I think Race is right,” Smalls commented.   
“You’ve known me for half an hour, you don’t get to have a say in this,” Albert argued.   
Race opened his mouth to respond when Darcy walked into the room. Darcy sighed, “You both realize that visitor hours does not exempt you from your group therapy, right?”   
Race glanced up at the clock, “Shi- shoot. Our bad, Darcy. We lost track of time.”   
“It’s fine, just wrap this up and get a move on. I don’t need to bluff for the two of you any longer,” Darcy said.   
Race nodded, turning back to Albert, “I’ll see you next week?”   
“Yeah,” Albert said, pulling Race into a hug, “See ya later.”   
Race allowed his mind to drift as he vaguely felt himself follow Darcy to group therapy. Honestly, Race was just ready to get out and back to his life. 

✧✧✧

Race glanced up from his card game with Blink when a knock sounded on the door, followed by the door opening a few seconds later. Darcy entered the room, followed by a shorter boy with large brown eyes. The boy looked extremely nervous and definitely didn’t seem to want to be there, along with everyone else.   
Darcy cleared his throat, “Boys, this is Romeo, your new roommate. Romeo, this is Race and Blink.”   
Both Race and Blink smiled at the boy before Race started, “Hey, I’m Race and that’s Blink. What’re you here for?”   
Romeo’s eyes widened, “What?”   
“Why're you here?” Blink explained, “I’m addicted to heroin and Racetrack here is an alcoholic.”   
“You guys just… share that?” Romeo asked.   
“Ain’t super easy to hide, so why not?” Race shrugged.   
“Adderall addiction,” Romeo stated.   
Race nodded, “How long are you here?”  
“A month right now,” Romeo responded, clearly a bit uncomfortable.   
“Cool,” Race said, “We can leave, while you get settled.”   
“That would be… preferable,” Darcy interrupted, “Thank you, boys.”   
Race and Blink exchanged confused looks as they left the room. Once they were sure they were far enough from the room, Blink started, “It doesn’t seem like he wants to be here.”   
Race snorted, “Who does? I sure would rather be at home than here.”   
“Well, I mean he doesn’t seem to want to be near us,” Blink whispered.  
Race rolled his eyes, “You’re just making stuff up now.”   
“Whatever, dude,” Blink huffed, “Believe what you want I guess.”   
“Shut up,” Race glanced up at the clock, “We still have an hour left of free time. Want to find Smalls?”   
“Sure,” Blink agreed, “Maybe she can beat you at a card game.”   
“Wouldn’t bet on it,” Race snickered.   
“Was that supposed to be a pun?” Blink asked, “I hated it.”   
“Good thing I ain’t here for your entertainment then.”   
“Are you sure? Your stupidity is pretty entertaining.”   
“I may be a dumbass but I’m not stupid.”   
“Is there even a difference?”   
“Of course the-” Race cut off, seeing Darcy practically running towards them.   
“Race?” Darcy said once he got close enough, “You need to come with me.”   
“Why? What’s wrong?” Race asked.   
“It’s your sister…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah...  
> Sorry about the mini hiatus, I went into a rough depressive episode for about a week, but I'm here now and feeling better. I'm probably back at daily updates for a little while at least.   
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> I love reading comments, especially when crying at 2 am. They make me happy lol ❤  
> I hope y'all enjoyed :)


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Make sure to check the tags before you read- they've been updated.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

“What?” Race exclaimed, “What do you mean? What happened? Is she-”  
“Race,” Darcy interrupted, “I don’t know, Medda is here. Just come with me.”  
Race followed Darcy to a small office, one he’d never been to before. Race’s worries only increased in the private setting. What had happened? What if she was hurt? Or worse? Race stopped in his tracks as he quickly took in Medda’s state. It was clear she had been crying, her eyes bloodshot and her nose still sniffling. Her cheeks were stained with tear tracks and her makeup slightly less put together than usual.  
“Medda?” Race whispered.  
“Oh, baby,” Medda whimpered, “Come here, please.”  
Race collapsed into Medda’s warm embrace, quietly asking, “What’s wrong?”  
Medda sighed, pulling Race to sit down. She took a few moments to compose herself before starting, “This morning we were supposed to go to the opening of my theatre’s show, as you know. Gabby… she seemed tired. She told me she didn’t sleep well the night before, so I left it at that. But… she- she’s been tired a lot and I assumed it was just because she missed you. She… Gabby passed out. Before the show. I took her to the hospital since she had been tired the last few weeks,” Medda paused, dabbing at her eyes, “She has cancer, Race. Leukemia.”  
Race paled. Gabby was sick and he couldn’t even be there. He felt overcome with guilt. Could they have found it early if he had been there? Gabby told Race everything, surely he would’ve known something was wrong.  
“Race,” Medda started gently, “They caught it early. She’s still in stage one. The doctors think she has a high chance of getting through this. She’s strong, baby, you know that. She’s starting treatment right away.”  
“I’m sorry,” Race whimpered.  
“For what, baby?” Medda asked.  
“That you have to deal with this, with us and all our problems,” Race croaked, his throat tight as he attempted to keep in his sobs.  
“Race there is nothing you need to be sorry about. You’ve made some mistakes, sure, but you are my son. I would do the same for you as I do for Jack and Charlie. I love you, Race,” Medda assured.  
“I love you too, Medda,” Race mumbled, “Thank you.”  
“I will check with Gabby’s doctors to see when she is able to visit you,” Medda assured, “She misses you a lot.”  
“I miss her too,” Race sighed, “Tell her I love her and that she’ll get through this.”  
“Of course baby,” Medda said, pulling Race into a hug, “I’ll see you soon.”  
Race watched as Medda left the room. He quickly composed himself, opting to ignore the awful feeling swirling in his stomach for now. Race swiftly made his way out of the room, where Darcy was waiting beyond the door.  
“Race,” Darcy started.  
“No,” Race interrupted, “Not right now. Please.”  
“Do you need some time by yourself, Race? I could also see if Dr. Hearst is available,” Darcy said.  
“I’m fine. I have group therapy in a few minutes anyway,” Race said. He ignored the worried look on Darcy’s face as he rushed away. Race didn’t need to deal with this right now. He just needed to get better so he could get back to Gabby. 

✧✧✧

Race waited anxiously as he sat at a table in the visitor room. Smalls had been discharged a few days ago and Race only had about a week left, but Gabby’s doctors had approved a visit for today so Race focused on that instead of how lonely he felt half of the time. He glanced up as the door opened, only to be met with a shorter boy, his roommate.  
“Romeo?” Race asked, “Is your family coming?”  
“Yeah,” Romeo mumbled.  
“Do you not want them to come?” Race questioned worriedly.  
“No! No, that’s not it,” Romeo said quickly, “I just… you’re gay right?”  
“Um… yeah,” Race sputtered, surprised by the sudden question.  
“How’d you come out? Like was it easy?” Romeo asked quietly.  
“I mean… yes, but also no,” Race sighed, “My dad wasn’t a big fan of me being gay, to say the least. But my friends and Medda accepted me. There will always be people who accept you and people who don't. You just have to find the right ones.”  
“I’m pansexual,” Romeo blurted out, “I’ve never told anyone.”  
Race smiled, “Well now you have. That’s an improvement. Do you think your family won’t accept you?”  
Romeo shrugged, “I’m not sure. I think my older sister and mom would but I’m not sure about my dad. He’s pretty traditional.”  
“Do it when you feel safe,” Race said, “I wasn’t planning on coming out to my dad until Gabby and I were out of there, but life had other plans. It ended up better than I could’ve thought but I was scared for a long time.”  
“So he ended up accepting you?” Romeo questioned.  
“No,” Race paused, “He, uh, kicked me out. Sorta.”  
“What do you mean by sorta?”  
Race cringed, “Just… don’t do it unless you feel safe and you’re sure you won’t be hurt or kicked out.”  
“Okay, thank you,” Romeo responded quickly as someone who looked like an older, more feminine version of Romeo entered the room. Romeo quickly embraced his sister and retreated to the opposite corner of the room.  
Race turned his attention towards the door, waiting for his family to arrive. A few minutes later, the door opened again. Race grinned as he saw Gabby walking into the room. Race approached her quickly, engulfing her in a soft hug. He looked her up and down, “How are you feeling, Sorella? Do you need to sit down? Do you want some water? I can-”  
“Tony,” Gabby interrupted with a light laugh, “I’m fine. I just want to see you.”  
Race could feel his eyes begin to tear up, “Oh.”  
“I missed you,” Gabby said, “It’s only one more week, right?”  
“Of course, Gabs,” Race assured, “One more. How’s Smalls adjusting to life at home?”  
“Good, she’s better to talk to than Jack and Charlie. She’s my big sister now,” Gabby beamed.  
Race laughed, “I’m happy to hear it.”  
“She paints my nails. Better than you did,” Gabby remarked.  
“I’m sure she does,” Race said, “I know you can’t stay too long. I’m assuming everyone stayed at home except for Medda?”  
“She said we needed some time alone,” Gabby explained, “They’ll probably come tomorrow. My doctors told me I’m going to lose my hair, but I like my hair.”  
Race took a moment to process the sudden change in conversation, “It’ll grow back, Sorella,” he assured, “I can take you to get some hats when I come home next week if you want.”  
Gabby nodded, “I’d like that.”  
They were interrupted by Medda popping her head into the room, “We have to get going, Gabby. You have chemo in about an hour.”  
“Okay, mama,” Gabby said.  
Race’s eyes widened slightly at that. When had Gabby started calling Medda mama? What else had he missed? Race shook off his worries, for the time being, instead pulling Gabby back into a light embrace, “I love you, Gabs. I’ll see you soon.”  
“Love you too, Tony.”  
Race rushed back to his room once Gabby and Medda had left. He felt like he had missed so much, and it was all his fault. He wouldn’t fit back into his group of friends when he returned and he would be an outcast in the family as well. Race just wanted things to go back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun.  
> There probably won't be a new chapter tomorrow because I'm going to be driving across the country. We love being in a car for two days straight. Or two days gay. I'm not straight.  
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> I love comments and kudos, so feel free to leave some ❤  
> I hope y'all enjoyed :)


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing much to say about this chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Race was elated. He was finally getting out of rehab after a whole month. He had already started packing a few days earlier in an attempt to calm his nerves. It obviously didn’t work, but Race was trying his best. Race glanced up at the clock, he only had a few hours left. One last therapy session with Dr. Hearst and he would be out of here.   
Thankfully, that session came faster than Race realized and soon he was packing up the last of his things, waiting for his family to come and pick him up. Race glanced up as the door opened and Romeo walked in. Race was still a bit worried for the boy, over the past week Race had gotten to know a bit more about Romeo’s home life and it was starting to sound like his dad really wouldn’t accept Romeo when he came out.   
“So you’re really leaving today?” Romeo questioned, flopping onto his own bed.   
Race nodded, “Yeah. It’s kinda weird, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel.”   
“I’d feel happy,” Romeo said, “Probably.”   
“What do you mean by probably?” Race asked.   
Romeo shrugged, “I’m able to be myself here, no shame. But it’s not like that at home. I came out to my sister and she supported me but I want to be me all of the time, not just some of the time.”   
Race sighed, pulling out a piece of paper and quickly writing on it, “Here. It’s my address and phone number. If you come out and it goes badly you can come to me. I’ll help you.”   
“Th- thank you, Race,” Romeo smiled, “It means a lot.”   
“Of course,” Race said, “Just focus on getting better and I’ll be there for you when you get out. I can visit you if you want?”   
“Yeah, I’d like that,” Romeo said, “I have to head to group therapy. I’ll see you later Race. Good luck in the real world.”   
Race nodded as he watched Romeo leave. He was still a bit uneasy about the kid's situation, but he would be safe for at least a few more weeks. Race stuffed the last of his few belongings into his duffle bag and waited. Darcy had told him that he would come to get Race when his family arrived, but Race was starting to feel like too much time had passed.   
Sure enough, glancing at the clock, his family was half an hour late. Medda had told him they would pick him up around noon, but it was now closer to one. Race shook his head, attempting to get rid of all the thoughts swarming in his mind. They were probably just running a bit late, totally normal. Maybe Gabby took longer to get ready now and they just underestimated the time they would need to get there by noon. Maybe Jack had slept in, he was definitely not a morning person. There was a chance Charlie’s leg was bothering him, sometimes the pain flared up. That would definitely slow them down. Right?   
Race could feel himself beginning to panic as many different scenarios flashed through his mind, most of them worse than the last. He had barely even noticed another half hour pass, followed by another. Race glanced at the clock again. It read 1:39. His family was officially over an hour and a half late. Something bad must’ve happened, there was no other explanation.   
Race stood from where he had apparently curled up on the floor and shakily made his way towards Darcy’s office. He knew he was supposed to wait, but his worries overpowered that direction. Race just needed to know what was taking so long. Race weakly knocked on the door, rocking on his feet as he waited for it to open. After a few seconds it did, and Darcy gently ushered Race inside.   
“Where are they?” Race whispered, unsure if he could speak any louder without bursting into tears.   
Darcy sighed, “That’s what we’re trying to figure out. Medda isn’t answering her cell phone or the home phone. We’re not sure what’s wrong.”   
“What about Jack? Have you tried calling him?” Race questioned, now even more scared that his worries were actually founded in reality.   
“We don’t have his number, Race. I’m sor-”   
“I know it!” Race begged, “Can you please call him? Please?”   
Darcy nodded, typing in the numbers Race told him. He sighed as he put the phone up to his ear. To Darcy’s surprise, the phone clicked and he started talking, “Hello? Is this Jack Kelly-Larkin?”  
“Um, yeah,” Jack responded through the phone, “Who is this?”   
“It’s Darcy, I’m Race’s-”   
“Oh shit, yeah,” Jack cut Darcy off, “We’re almost there. Something happened this morning, but it’s all fine now. We’ll be there in a few minutes. Tell Race we’re sorry and we’ll explain everything when we get there.”   
“Alright, I will,” Darcy said, “Goodbye.” Darcy hung up the phone with a sigh, and turned to Race, “They’re on their way. Jack said something happened, I don’t know what. They’ll explain when they get here.”   
Race nodded, his breathing shaky, “Thank you, Darcy.”   
“Of course, kid,” Darcy smiled, “Now go make sure all your stuff is packed.”   
Race quickly made his way out of the room, not wanting Darcy to see the breakdown he was probably about to have. Race still didn’t know what had happened and he was stressing out. Maybe they didn’t want him back and they were trying to let him down gently. Whatever the reason, Race needed answers the moment they got here. He thought he was abandoned, which wasn’t a stretch in Race’s mind based on how shitty his life had been.   
Wiping the tears from his cheeks, Race put the final of his belongings in his bag and ventured out towards the commons. That was the closest place to wear his family would enter the actual facility as opposed to just the visitor room. Race glanced up as he heard voices coming towards him.   
Medda walked in a second later, followed by her trail of kids. She quickly made her way towards Race, who had started crying again. She drew him into a light embrace, comforting him in any way she could, “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. We tried to get here on time. I’m sorry.”   
“Why weren’t you here?” Race croaked.   
Medda sighed, “We were at the grocery store, picking up a few of the things you’d probably like to have when you come back. There was a lady following us around, but I tried to ignore her. She followed us into the parking lot and stopped us from leaving. I’m sor-”   
“Mama,” Jack interrupted, “Tell him everything.”   
“Jack, I-”   
“No, Mama. He needs to know,” Jack turned to Race, “The lady was following us around because she thought it was suspicious that Mama had a bunch of white kids.”   
“What?” Race asked, “What do you mean?”   
“She didn’t think we were Mama’s kids,” Jack sighed, “Kept going on about kidnapping and Stockholm syndrome and other stupid shit like that.”   
“Language,” Medda interrupted, “But it’s all fine now. I’m sorry we were late, my phone was on silent and I didn’t know about all the calls. It’s not an excuse baby, but it is an explanation. I’m sorry, Race.”   
Race nodded, “It’s alright… I guess.”   
“Let’s just get you home, baby. You’ve already had a long day. Gabby and Charlie are waiting.”   
Race perked up ever so slightly at the mention of Gabby. He was constantly worried about her and hopefully being around her more of the time would help quell his worries. Race just wanted his life to be normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp.   
> I was planning on posting every day but I got into a bit of a slump with my writing and mental health. It took me a few days to finish this chapter so I'm not sure if this will continue being updated every day. I'm shooting for at least every other day.   
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> I love y'all's comments ❤  
> I hope you enjoyed :)


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Small note: I decided that I don't really think that Crutchie would be called Crutchie in a modern au as much. I'm still going to call him Crutchie sometimes but I'll mostly call him Charlie now.   
> Hope you enjoy :)

The car ride home was silent, which Race, for once, was happy about. To be honest he had been pretty close to a breakdown for the last couple of hours and he was hoping to make it home before he burst into tears. Again. Race curled his knees to his chest, taking deep breaths to keep himself relatively calm. Only ten more minutes and he would be home with Gabby.   
“You doing alright, Racer?” Charlie asked quietly from beside Race.   
“Sorta,” Race whispered, “I just wanna get home.”   
“Yeah, I would too,” Charlie nodded, “I’m sorry.”   
Race looked up, “For what?”   
“Just…” Charlie trailed off, “For everything you’ve been through. You deserve better than that. Everything that happened to you was absolute shit and I’m just sorry.”   
Race let out a light laugh, “I wouldn’t say everything that happened to me is absolute shit. I have a family now, that’s pretty great. I also have a boyfriend. And some of the best friends anyone could ask for.”   
“I suppose you’re right about that, Racetrack,” Charlie laughed.   
“Charlie?”   
“Yeah Race?”   
“You know how you let some people call you Charlie while almost everyone else calls you Crutchie? I wanna try that. With my name,” Race glanced up at Charlie, “Tony, I mean. I don’t like my full name. Only my dad really used it.”   
“Are you sure? You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Charlie assured, “Whenever you’re ready, Race.”   
“I trust you guys. I mean, you can use Race and Tony interchangeably. I like both of them and I still want to be called Race I guess. Do you think we can try?”   
Charlie smiled, “Of course, Tony.”   
Race nodded, “Yeah. I like that. I wanna try being Tony more, I probably can’t be Race forever.”   
Charlie snorted, “Oh, you never know. Jack will probably dumbass for the rest of his life.”   
“Hey!”   
“Language, boys.”   
Race smiled, “Sorry, Medda.”   
“What about me?” Jack pouted, “Don’t I get an apology.”   
“I ain’t about to apologize for speaking the truth, Jackie,” Charlie snickered.   
Medda let out a light snort, “Alright boys, we’re home. Let’s get inside, I’m sure Race wants to see his sister.”   
“Tony,” Race said, hopping out of the car, “I want to try being called Tony more often.”  
“Alright then, I’m sure Tony wants to see his sister,” Medda corrected.   
“Thank you, Medda,” Race said before the group made their way inside. Race’s mood had definitely approved thanks to the conversation with Charlie, but Race still felt some tightness in the back of his throat and was hoping that his emotions would not betray him. He just wanted to be happy that he was home, there was no reason to be sad right now.   
Race followed Medda into the apartment, being quickly met by a smiling Smalls who gently gave Race a quick hug.   
“Been a while, loser,” She smirked.   
Race rolled his eyes, “It’s been a week, Smalls. Chill.”   
“Whatever,” Smalls smiled, “Gabby’s napping right now, went to sleep about a half-hour ago. I can wake her if you want.”   
Race shook his head, “Nah, let her sleep. She needs her rest. I’ll still be here in an hour or so.”  
“Alright,” Medda started, “Are you hungry Tony? I’m not sure if you’ve eaten but we all have only had breakfast today.”   
“Yeah, I could eat,” Race answered.   
“What would you like?” Medda asked.  
“Literally anything not frozen or from a can,” Race said, “I feel like I haven't had an actual good meal in so long.”   
“What did they serve you, cardboard?” Jack joked.   
“Some of it tasted like cardboard, to be honest,” Race sighed.   
“I can vouch for that,” Smalls agreed, “We can’t even get food from our families because one guy's mom brought weed brownies once and half the patients were high.”   
Race snorted, “Yeah, Tommy told me about that. It was during the beginning of his stay, like a couple of days in.”   
“Tony?” A tired voice called from the hallway.   
“Hey, Gabs,” Race said with a smile, leaning down to hug his sister.   
“I missed you,” Gabby whispered into Race’s shoulder.   
“I missed you too, Sorella. But I’m here to stay now. I promise,” Race assured.   
“Okay, I love you,” Gabby said, “Can I go back to sleep? I’m tired.”   
“Of course, Gabs. If you’re tired you should rest,” Race smiled sadly, “I love you too.”   
Race watched worriedly as Gabby made her way back towards the bedroom. He waited until she had closed the door before speaking again, “How long has she been like that?”   
“Like what, baby?” Medda questioned.   
“She’s like a shell of herself, is it the chemo? Is that why she’s so tired? Is she always that tired? She used to hate naps. How often do-”   
“Race,” Medda interrupted gently, “She’s just tired from the chemo and I think she missed having you around. I’m sure she’ll be in better spirits soon.”   
“Yeah, yeah. You’re probably right,” Race said, trying to convince himself in the process. At least he was home. Everything was perfectly fine right now. Except for the cancer. 

✧✧✧

Race really needed to stop thinking everything was fine. Something bad always seemed to follow. It was his first day back at school and he had received a countless number of stares and multiple shoves from other students. It wasn’t even first period yet. Race’s shoulder ached a bit since every single time he was shoved he had hit the lockers that he was walking beside. He didn’t even know half the kids that apparently hated him but they clearly knew him.   
Race quickly made his way into his English classroom and waited. He was way too early today, he wanted to avoid seeing many people but it seemed everyone else had also arrived early. Honestly Race just wanted to go home. Medda had let him stay home a few days so that he could catch up on work but at this point Race just wanted to finish the year at home. Race glanced up at the sound of the door opening.   
“Thought we could find you here,” Oscar snickered, “Been a while, Higgins.”   
Race sighed angrily, “Can’t you just leave me alone?”   
“We could,” Morris said, “But that wouldn’t be any fun. You’ve been gone a whole month, what were we supposed to do to pass the time?”   
“Oh, I don’t know,” Race rolled his eyes, “Stop tormenting people, for one. Maybe pick up a hobby or two. I bet you’d be awfully good at baking, Morris. And Oscar could decorate, wouldn’t that be nice?”   
“You should learn to keep your damn mouth shut, Higgins,” Oscar threatened.   
“Yeah, wasn’t that somethin’ you shoulda learned in juvie?” Morris cackled.   
“I don’t know, ask someone who went to juvie,” Race muttered.   
“Well, where’d you go?” Morris questioned, “We saw your mugshot, where else could you have gone.”   
Race scoffed, “They usually don’t send kids away for misdemeanors.”   
“Well,” Oscar started, “You were definitely sent away, Higgins.”   
“We just wanna know where,” Morris said, “Then we’ll leave you alone.”   
Race laughed bitterly, “Oh, I’m sure you will. You’ll just go blabberin’ to the whole school about it. I ain’t gotta tell you anything.”   
“The whole school thinks you’re a criminal, Higgins,” Morris said.   
“Let them,” Race answered, standing up to face Morris directly, “I don’t care about anything they or you sons of bitches think. Leave me alone.”  
“You better watch your back, Higgins,” Oscar spat, “We’re comin’ for ya.”   
With that, the brothers turned away as more people filed into the classroom. Race slumped back into his chair with an angry sigh. He’d be surprised if he made it through the week without getting soaked by the Delancey’s.   
“What’s got you in such a sour mood?”   
Race glanced up at the familiar voice, quickly erasing his scowl and replacing it with a light smile, “Hey, Kath.”   
“Hey, Tony,” Katherine sighed, “Have people been bothering you?”   
Race shrugged, “I guess. It’s okay, they’ll probably forget about me in a week or so.”   
“Well I for one, will not be forgetting about you in a week or so,” Spot said as he walked towards Race and Katherine. He leaned to peck Race on the lips before sliding in the seat beside him, “I missed you.”   
“I missed you too, love,” Race sighed, “But I honestly just want to go home. You know I did a month's worth of school in like three days?”   
Spot cringed, “That sucks.”   
“Beats group therapy, I guess,” Race muttered.   
“I wasn’t all bad, right?” Katherine questioned.   
“The people weren’t bad. Almost everything else was, but it worked I guess. For now,” Race mumbled the last part. He honestly didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he was sober at the moment and he would try his hardest to keep it that way.   
“Well I’m glad you’re back,” Spot said, grabbing Race’s hand, “I was real close to punching Jack with how annoying he got without you to distract me.”   
“You and me both, Spot,” Katherine said, “How do you live with him?”   
“How did you date him?” Race shot back.   
“We don’t talk about that,” Katherine hissed.   
Race laughed lightly as more people filled the room. The bell was about to ring and he was still not completely prepared for class, but he would try his best. That was all he could do at this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep.   
> Y'all, I'm getting back in my grove. I feel a lot better and I'm writing more often now. I want to try and post every other day, but since I never know how I'm going to feel the next day, that might not happen. Overall, I'm just incredibly happy I started writing this because it's become a healthy coping mechanism that I never had previously. And now that I have spilled my heart out, I am done. Talking. Like right now. Not forever.   
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!   
> I love reading comments and getting kudos ❤  
> Hope you enjoyed :)


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> I updated the tags, make sure you're alright with that before reading. Sorry.   
> Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

Maybe Race shouldn’t have waited by the side of the building today. Jack had yet another art project he had to do over the weekend and was picking up everything he needed while Race waited outside. Race should’ve just gone with Jack. Because now he found himself backed into a corner by the Delancey’s and Race couldn’t seem to figure out a way to get out of this mess.   
“We told you to watch your back, Higgins,” Morris sneered, “You didn’t think you would get through the week did you?”   
“Is it really a smart move to beat me up on school property?” Race hissed, “Especially considering what happened last time. You’d probably get expelled.”   
“Thanks for the warning, Higgins,” Oscar smirked wickedly, “I suppose we could take this somewhere else.”   
Race’s eyes widened as Oscar pulled out a blade from his pocket, small enough to hide but definitely able to do a lot of damage. Race backed up another step, running into the rough brick behind him, “What the fuck, Oscar. That ain’t funny.”   
“I ain’t joking around, Higgins,” Oscar waved the blade dangerously close to Race’s face, “I think it’s time we rough you up a bit more than usual. Teach you a lesson or two.”   
“Yeah,” Morris agreed, “Especially when you’re such a crybaby f*g. Of course, we shouldn’t do this on school property, just like you said. So why don’t you come with us? We got a nice car just around the corner.”   
Race gulped, he knew the fear was evident on his face, despite his efforts to quell said feelings, “Look, it’s one thing to beat me up but… this is going too far, even for you,” Race eyed the blade, “Just let me go and I won’t tell anybody about this. Ever.”   
Oscar scoffed, grabbing Race’s arm roughly, “Now you’re just spitting a bunch of lies, Higgins. Let's get going,” Oscar tugged Race toward the direction of his car, “Oh, and if you struggle too much, I’ll stab you.”   
Race spared one last glance towards the school before he felt himself being shoved into the Delancey’s car. Race could barely comprehend what was happening, because what the actual fuck was even happening? The past few minutes felt like a scene from a movie, how could it possibly be real life? Race glanced to the side, Oscar was sitting beside him, his blade held close to Race’s torso. Race closed his eyes. This couldn’t be real. 

✧✧✧

To say Jack was worried would be an understatement, hell, even to say he was frantic would be an understatement. Race was gone, without a trace. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. His backpack was still at the side of the school, Jack had found it near where Race said he’d be waiting. The problem, obviously, was that Race was not there.   
Jack pulled out his phone, his hands shaking. He dialed the only person he felt like he could talk to.   
“Hello? Jack?”  
“Davey…” Jack whispered, “I need you. Can you come to school? Please?”   
“Of course, Jack. What’s wrong?”   
“Davey, I can’t… he’s,” Jack let out a violent sob, “He’s gone. I don’t know where…”   
“Who? Jack, who is gone?”   
“Racer, he was waiting for me, Medda won’t let him drive… I had the keys and h- he wasn't here. He’s n- not here. Davey, I d- don’t know what…” Jack trailed off, “Just, please, g- get here.”   
“I’m on my way, Jackie. Sit tight, don’t go anywhere. I’ll be there soon.”   
How Davey was able to keep calm in most stressful situations was always a mystery to Jack. Maybe Davey freaked out more internally while Jack clearly did the opposite. Jack looked up as a car veered into the parking lot. Medda. She rushed out as soon as the car was stopped, haphazardly running to her eldest son.   
Medda gently scooped Jack into her arms, “Baby, what happened? Where’s Tony?”   
“I don’t know, mama,” Jack whispered, “I’m so sorry. I should’ve called the police but I don’t think they’d believe me. It just doesn’t seem right. He wouldn’t run away again, right?”   
“I don’t think so baby,” Medda assured, “I called your principal, he’s letting us look at the security tapes, then we’ll see if we need to call the police.”   
As it turns out, they did need to call the police. Jack watched in horror as the Delancey brothers cornered Race, only to drag him out of frame and who knows where minutes later. Jack was barely listening to what Medda and Principal Roosevelt were saying, opting instead to squeeze onto his boyfriend's hand until Davey gently told him it was starting to hurt.   
Before Jack knew it, he was back at home, Davey gently setting a cup of tea in front of where Jack was sitting at the table. Davey gently put a hand on Jack's arms, causing him to look up at his boyfriend, who was smiling sadly.  
“It’s been a long day, Jackie. You need rest,” Davey whispered.   
“How am I supposed to rest when Race is just out there somewhere. The Delancey’s are capable of anything, Davey. They know bad people,” Jack sighed, “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do, We just got him back, how can we lose him again?”  
“Hey,” Davey said, “Don’t think like that, that won’t help Race.”   
“He wanted us to start calling him Tony,” Jack laughed sadly, “The Delancey’s can get away with anything. They probably already tossed Race over to their creepy uncle.”   
“Jack, I don’t thi-”   
“You know Race said he wanted to be a dance teacher?” Jack smirked, “He didn’t think he could do it because he started so late, but he practiced a lot. I just-”   
“Stop,” Davey interrupted.   
“Stop what?”   
“Stop acting like he’s already gone, Jack,” Davey sighed, “You’re using past tense.”   
“I didn’t mean to,” Jack whispered, “God, what am I supposed to tell Charlie and Gabby?”   
“They don’t know?” Davey asked, glancing towards the hall with the bedrooms.   
Jack shook his head, “They think he’s sleeping over at Albert’s tonight. We told Al, just in case.”  
“Why not Spot?”   
Jack scoffed, “I don’t like ‘im.”   
Davey rolled his eyes, “Hey isn’t so bad, Jackie. A little tough on the outside, but he’s real sweet once you break through the reinforced steel.”   
“And how would you know that?” Jack questioned.   
“Just pay more attention to how he interacts with Race. It’s kinda cute. He’s like a little puppy sometimes,” Davey smiled, “Don’t tell him I said that. I still have no doubt that he would beat me up if he felt the need.”   
“He would never get to lay a hand on you, Davey,” Jack said confidently.  
“Right, because he’d get distracted by beating you up instead,” Davey smirked.   
Jack sputtered in response, unable to form a defense. He knew Davey was just trying to distract him from the current reality, which Jack was incredibly thankful for. He just hoped Race would be home soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My bad.   
> Wasn't going to update but I had this idea and now I'm kinda rolling with it so...   
> Anywho, please let me know if I missed any tags!   
> I love reading your comments ❤  
> Hope you enjoyed :)


	30. Chapter Thirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!   
> This chapter is a bit shorter and kinda angsty, but I promise fluff is coming up.   
> Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

Race was getting antsy. He was starting to wonder if the Delancey’s intentions were worse than he initially thought and he was too scared to find out. Race didn’t exactly know how long they’d been driving, but they were no longer in the city and the sun was almost gone.   
“You got the shit, Morris?” Oscar said suddenly.   
“Yeah, it’s in the glove compartment. Do you need it now?” Morris asked, glancing back at his brother.   
“We’re almost there, ain’t we?” Oscar scoffed. Morris responded by tossing a plastic grocery bag back to Oscar.   
Race’s eyes widened as Oscar pulled a few items from the bag. Race gulped, his throat tight, “Oscar, please, you don’t ha-”   
“Shut it,” Oscar hissed, “Put your hands together.”   
Shakily, Race placed his hands together, reluctantly allowing Oscar to secure them tightly with duct tape. Oscar then proceeded to grab harshly onto Race’s curls, tugging his head towards him. Race closed his eyes as Oscar shoved a cloth into Race’s mouth, tying it securely behind his head.   
Oscar sighed annoyingly, “Look, Higgins. If you try anything, I will stab you. It ain’t my fault if you’re stupid, got it?”   
Race nodded slowly as he took in the surroundings. The car had turned onto a gravel road, likely towards someone’s private property. Race could feel the tears start to prick in his eyes. He just wanted to go home. 

✧✧✧

Jack groaned as he pried himself from Davey’s arms and made his way to open the door that someone was pounding way too loudly on. Jack opened the door, only to be met by a fuming little man.   
“Where is he?” Spot hissed, tears clouding his vision, “Where is Race?”   
“What?” Jack asked, unsure if Spot was fully aware of the situation.   
“I just want to know where he is and why he fucking texted me about breaking up. He was a fucking ass, is he okay?”   
“Oh,” Jack started, “He… I don’t think he sent that text.”   
“Well then who…” Spot’s eyes narrowed, “I swear to god, Kelly, if you sent that text I will soak you til-”  
“Spot,” Davey said gently, “We don’t know where he is, but the Delancey's probably sent that text.”   
“What do you mean?” Spot questioned, “What’s happening?”   
“He’s fucking gone, Spot,” Jack exclaimed, “The Delancey’s fucking took him. I don’t know what kind of sick joke it is but we need your phone so that someone at the police station can track the text or some shit because I need my damn brother back.”   
Spot nodded shakily, “Okay. Okay, let’s go.”   
“Smalls is here, right?” Davey asked. Jack gave a short nod before Davey continued, “Alright, I’ll drive. Come on.”   
Jack followed his boyfriend out of the apartment and downstairs, a still fuming Spot following closely behind. Jack hoped that the text would be enough to figure out where Race was.   
Spot sighed shakily from the backseat, “What do you know, Kelly?”   
“Just what we saw on the camera, I guess,” Jack muttered.   
“What camera?”   
Jack rolled his eyes, “Security tape at the school. The Delancey’s cornered him and fucking took him. That’s all we know.”   
“Why wasn’t he with you?” Spot accused, “You just let him be alone? The Delancey’s have clearly been antagonizing him all week.”   
“How would I have known they were going to fucking kidnap him?” Jack yelled, “I didn’t realize you were that much of a dumba-”   
“Jack,” Davey scolded, “This isn’t helping. You both need to suck it up and put a pause on this childish rivalry. Now.”   
“Sorry Davey,” Jack and Spot muttered in unison.   
“Good, now we are not going to talk for the rest of the car ride, got it?” Davey sighed.   
It was clear everyone was worried, they just hoped Race was relatively okay. Or at least alive. 

✧✧✧

Race head snapped to the side as another blow landed on his face, his gag long since knocked out of his mouth. Groaning, he spit out bloody saliva towards the side, glaring up at the Delancey’s, “This ain’t even a fair fight, you too scared to let me hit back?” Race knew he probably shouldn’t be talking back, it was definitely making the situation worse, but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.   
“We ain’t scared, Higgins,” Oscar hissed, “It’s just more fun this way.”  
Morris glanced at his brother, “Oscar, let up a bit. You’ve been at it for a while.”   
“What? You going soft too?” Oscar snarled, “He’s getting what he deserves.”   
“Yeah, I know, but I don’t think we should’ve sent that text,” Morris whispered, “What if they can find us now? Uncle Wiesel is gonna kill us for bringing him here.”   
“Then let’s leave, he can find his way home,” Oscar shrugged, tossing Race’s phone towards the shivering boy, “If anyone asks, this was just a prank, got it, Higgins?”   
Race nodded quickly, attempting to reach towards his phone, only for Oscar to kick it away from him. Oscar snickered at Race as he tried to crawl towards his phone, his hands still bound. Race felt himself get kicked in the side, sending him sprawling onto the ground. Race forced his eyes open, met with the sight of the Delancey’s running away, laughing wickedly.   
Race moaned painfully, slowly making his way towards his phone, praying to whoever was listening that it wasn’t broken. Race cried out in relief when it turned on, definitely banged up, but usable. Shakily, he called for help as fast as he could.   
“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”   
“I- I don’t know where I am,” Race cried softly, “They left m- me here. I d- don’t know where to go.”   
“Are you hurt?”   
“Yeah…” Race let out a shaky breath, “I am.”   
“What’s your name, kid?”   
“R- Anthony,” Race cringed at his full name, ”Anthony Higgins.”   
“Alright Anthony, can you tell me what you see? Do you know how long you’ve been there?”   
“It’s just a b- bunch of trees, I think there’s an old barn p- pretty far aware but I think it’s further fr- from the road,” Race let out a sob, “I- they drove for an hour or t- two, I think. Before we got into the woods,” Race shivered, “It’s really c- cold.”   
“Alright, kid, just stay on the line. We’re trying to track your phone.”   
Race could feel his eyes droop, “I’m really tired.”   
“You got to stay awake, Anthony. It will help us find you. Are you in restraints of any kind?”   
“They put duct tape on my wrists. It’s really tight,” Race sighed, “I just want to go to sleep.”   
“I know kid, just hold on a bit longer. We found your general area, units are on their way to find you. Do you know who did this to you?”   
The question went unanswered as Race drifted off into a painless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops.   
> I promise fluff is coming up (again), I also need it.   
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!   
> I love reading y'all's comments ❤  
> Hope you enjoyed :)


	31. Chapter Thirty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing to say about this chapter.   
> Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

Race blinked awake slowly, the bright light hurting his strained eyes. His head rolled to the side, allowing Race to catch sight of his boyfriend asleep on a chair in a clearly uncomfortable position. Race cleared his throat, or attempted to, as he was thrown into a fit of coughs. He could hear Spot begin to panic, leaving the room, presumably to find a doctor.   
Before Race could really tell what had happened, there was a gentle hand rubbing his back and a mask over his mouth, letting him breathe.   
“Feeling better, kid?” A nurse asked.   
Race nodded weakly, “Yeah,” he rasped, “Thank you.”   
“Of course,” The nurse smiled, turning towards Spot, who was standing awkwardly in the corner, “If this happens again, don’t hesitate to get us. Did you call his family?”   
“Yes, they’re on their way,” Spot answered, “Thank you, ma’am.”   
Race turned to Spot, “What happened?”   
Spot’s brows furrowed, “You don’t remember?”   
“Not exactly,” Race sighed, “I remember waiting for Jack, and… the Delancey’s were there but the rest is kinda fuzzy.”   
Spot sighed, sitting on the edge of Race’s bed, “Do you want to know? It might be better if you didn’t.”   
“Is it bad?” Race questioned softly.  
“Yes,” Spot said bluntly, “We’re not even sure what exactly you went through, but the way they found you… it was awful, Race.”   
“Maybe I shouldn't know then,” Race decided.   
“I’m sorry, Racer,” Spot said suddenly.   
“For what?”   
“I wasn’t there,” Spot said, “Even if you don’t remember what happened, what if I could’ve prevented it?”   
“I’m pretty sure you weren’t supposed to be there, love,” Race said, “Whatever happened already happened. Ain’t no reason to dwell on the past.”   
“I don’t get how you can be so philosophical sometimes when you’re also a dumbass the rest of the time,” Spot laughed.   
“It’s part of my aesthetic,” Race responded.   
“Oh my god, you did not just say that,” Spot snorted.   
“So what if I did?” Race quipped.   
“He’s up!” A voice exclaimed as a small group entered the room.   
“Hey, Medda,” Race smiled.   
“Seems like you’re feeling good, Tony,” Jack smirked, “You must be on the good drugs.”   
Race rolled his eyes, “Whatever, Jack.”   
“Has the doctor talked to you yet, baby?” Medda asked.   
Race shook his head, “I’ve only talked to a nurse.”   
“He, uh,” Spot started, “He doesn’t remember anything.”   
“What?” Medda asked, concern evident on her face.   
“I only remember waiting for Jack and something with the Delancey’s,” Race began, not noticing the doctor in the doorway, “Everything else is fuzzy. I think there were trees at some point. Like lots of them.”   
“Your memory loss is likely caused by the hypothermia,” The doctor said as she approached the bed, “How are you feeling, Race?”  
“Alright, kinda sleepy still,” Race answered with a yawn, “What happened?”   
The doctor glanced down at Race’s chart in her hands, “As I mentioned, you experienced moderate to severe hypothermia, which also likely caused your memory loss. That will likely be temporary. You also have two fractured ribs and three bruised as well. You have moderate bruising in multiple spots over your body. Overall, a few weeks of rest should be good, but you’ll be in some pain. You should be discharged later today or early tomorrow. Any questions from you or the family?”   
“No,” Race said, settling back into his pillows, “I’m tired though.”   
Whatever response the doctor gave fell on deaf ears as Race drifted back into sleep. 

✧✧✧

Race groaned as he pulled himself out of bed. He had been home a couple of days, Medda wanting him to only go to school for half the week, and he was extremely bored. Even Gabby got to go to school, and she had cancer. Race sighed angrily as he realized everyone had already left for school or work, Medda leaving behind a good morning text and note on the counter. Race glanced at the time, nearly lunch. He hadn’t been sleeping well so he was going to bed later and getting up later as a result. At least there wasn’t anywhere he had to be.   
Race pulled out his phone, hoping that someone would be able to answer his call. He quickly shot a text to Medda before dialing Spot’s number.   
“Hello?”   
“Hey, Spot,” Race muttered.   
“Hey, Tony. Is something wrong?”   
“No, not really…” Race trailed off, “Everyone already left and I feel kind of alone right now but that’s not your problem. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called.”   
“Wai-”   
Race hung up, blinking away the tears in his eyes. He didn’t even know why he was crying, to be honest. He just felt alone, trapped in an empty apartment high above the streets of Manhattan. Race dragged himself to the couch, turning on a movie that he knew he wasn’t going to pay attention to.   
Race perked up at the sound of a knock on the door, reluctantly getting up to answer it.   
“Spot? What’re you doing here? You’re supposed to be at school.”   
Spot nodded, “That is correct, and I’m probably going to get grounded for skipping, but that phone call got me kinda worried, Racer.”   
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean-”  
“It’s okay,” Spot interrupted, “Just wanted to make sure you’re all in one piece.” Spot grabbed Race’s hand gently, “How about I stay, huh? We can just cuddle if that’s what you’d like. Do you want to order something to eat?”   
Race shook his head, “No, I’m not that hungry. I guess it’s just a down day, you know?”   
“Depression?” Spot asked, pulling Race gently onto the couch next to him.  
“Yeah,” Race mumbled, curled into Spot’s side, “Thanks for coming, Spotty.”   
Spot kissed the top of Race’s head, “Of course, baby. Whatever you need.”  
“Thank you, Spot,” Race whispered.   
“For what?”   
“For being there, through everything,” Race looked up at Spot, his eyes wet with tears, “I don’t think a lot of people would’ve stayed after all the shit I’ve been through. I was scared you’d get tired of it, of me. But you didn’t. So thank you.”   
“I could never get tired of you, Tony,” Spot said, softly wiping a tear from Race’s face, “Look, I know you’ve been through a lot and I want you to know I don’t expect this back, but… I love you, Tony. I really do. And it’s okay if you can’t say that back no or-”   
Race cut Spot off with a gentle kiss, “I love you too, Sean. I mean it.”  
Spot let out a relieved laugh, “Thank god. It would’ve been a bit embarrassing if you didn’t at least feel the same.”   
Race smiled, “I’ll spare you the embarrassment for now, Spotty.”   
Race snuggled further into Spot. Life had definitely not been the best so far, but Race was back with his family and friends again. Besides, what else could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noice.   
> Just a quick note: the way I write mental illness is from my own experience, so please remember that everyone has different experiences and I'm writing in the best way I can express :)  
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!   
> I love to see your comments!   
> Hope you enjoyed :)


	32. Chapter Thirty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> Nothing to say about this chapter.  
> Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

Turns out stuff could still go wrong. Imagine that. Race felt like an outsider in his own house and with his friends. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault, Race couldn’t have expected not to miss anything but he was approaching a month since returning and he still didn’t feel like he fit in. He just wanted to belong again.   
On the bright side, the Delancey’s took a plea deal and Race wouldn’t have to see them for a while. He still didn’t fully remember what had happened, but some details were coming back, enough that he was a bit jumpy at times. Race honestly didn’t know if he wanted to remember or not. The few details he had seemed to be enough.   
Race was snapped out of his thoughts by a knock on his door. “Yes?” he called.   
“Mama said it’s time for dinner,” Jack said, sticking his head into Race’s room.   
“Okay, I’ll be out in a sec,” Race answered, sliding out of his bed. The whole family seemed to constantly be walking on eggshells, especially around Race and Gabby.   
Race entered the dining room, Medda’s hushed talking faltering ever so slightly. Race sat in his seat next to Gabby, who was just staring at her food. Race sighed, “Do you want me to cut your chicken, Gabs?”   
Gabby shook her head, “I’m not hungry, Tony.”   
Race sighed, “But you really should eat, Sorella. For me?”   
“Why should I eat for you?” Gabby spat, “You were gone for a month. Do you even care?”   
Race’s eyes widened as he watched Gabby storm into her room, Smalls following quickly. The rest of the table had fallen silent, all shocked at Gabby’s harsh words. Medda slowly reached out towards Race, touching his arm lightly to get his attention, “Tony-”  
“It’s fine,” Race interrupted, “I’m fine. Let’s just eat.” Race stared down at his plate, willing himself to take a bite, but he could still feel eyes on him. He quickly took a bite of his chicken, thankfully prompting the others to continue eating.   
Smalls returned a few minutes later, “She, uh, wants to stay in her room. I’ll try to bring her some chicken and a roll after supper. She’ll probably want some food by then.”   
Race finished the rest of his food, excusing himself from the dining room. He pulled out his phone, calling Katherine.   
“Tony? Why’re you calling?”   
“Can you come over? Just for a few hours?” Race asked, “I need you right now.”   
“Of course, I’m on my way. What’s wrong?”   
“It’ll be easier to explain when you get here,” Race sighed, “And can you say you have homework you need help with or something?”   
“Um, yeah. Sure. I’ll be there in about ten minutes, should I stay on the line?”  
“No, you don’t have to. Thanks, Kat,” Race hung up the phone, dropping his head into his hands. Everything just felt like a bit too much at the moment.   
About ten minutes later, Katherine arrived, entering the apartment with the spare key Medda had given her. She rushed to Race’s room, giving a knock before she entered, “Tony? What happened?”   
“I left for a month, Kath,” Race mumbled, looking up at Katherine, “She hates me. Everyone does and it’s all my fault.”   
“Let’s backtrack a bit here,” Katherine said, joining Race on his bed, “Who hates you?”   
“Gabby. She snapped at me, about how I was gone,” Race whispered, “I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I’m just on the outskirts of everything. I’m sick of it.”   
“You belong places, Tony,” Katherine assured, “Your friends and family love yo-”   
“Do they?” Race interrupted with a sob, “Cause it doesn’t feel like it.”   
“Oh, Tony,” Katherine pulled Race into her arms, “I love you so much. I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling like this, you don’t deserve that.”   
“But what if I do?” Race cried, “What if I’m just an awful person who doesn’t actually deserve a good family and friends?”   
“Tony, look at me,” Katherine gently tilted Race’s head up, “You are not an awful person. You never have been and you never will be. You’ve had a shitty life and you’ve made some not so great decisions but that doesn’t make you an awful person. Not in the slightest bit.”   
“But-”   
“No,” Katherine interrupted gently, “No buts, Tony. You are a great person and I love you so much and so do so many other people. Including Gabby.”   
“Okay,” Race mumbled, “I love you too.”   
Race closed his eyes, drifting off in the comfort of Katherine’s presence. 

✧✧✧

Katherine was a bit pissed, to say the least. As gently as she could in her current angry state, Katherine pulled herself away from Race. It was definitely too late to drive back now, but she had to exchange a few words before she could sleep soundly. Katherine silently crept towards the living room, there was only one person in this house that would still be up at this time.   
“Jack.”   
Jack jumped at the sudden voice, dropping his sketchbook, “Jesus, Katherine. What the fuck are you doing here?” Jack hissed, “It’s the middle of the damn night.”   
“Race called me,” Katherine answered with a shrug, “But I need to talk to you.”   
“About what?”   
“About Race,” Katherine sighed, “Have you guys been treating him differently?”   
“What do you mean?” Jack questioned.   
“He had a literal breakdown about how he doesn’t feel like he belongs anywhere, Jack. It was scary. He said he doesn’t think anyone loves him.”   
Jack furrowed his brow, “I guess we’ve been a bit more cautious around him, both at home and at school. He’s just been through a lot I thought we were helping.”   
“Well he definitely feels excluded,” Katherine whispered, “You have to try to treat him like you did a year ago. He wants to feel normal, not like a piece of glass.”  
“But…” Jack paused, “But he’s just been through so much, what if something we do makes everything worse.”   
“That’s what you’re doing right now, Jack,” Katherine hissed, “You need to show you care about him. Pay more attention to his down days, he needs support.”   
“How do you know all of this?”   
“Because I pay attention to him,” Katherine sighed, “I’m sorry, that was rude. I guess I just know what he needs, have for a while. Ever since he told me…”   
“Yeah…” Jack stood up, “Look, we should get to bed, Kat. I promise I’ll do better.”   
“That’s all I ask for,” Katherine smiled sleepily, turning towards Race’s room, “Goodnight Jack.   
“Goodnight Katherine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeh.   
> Sorry for not posting, I've been swamped with finals. I should be more consistent with posting starting next week.   
> Anyway, please let me know if I missed any tags!   
> I love reading your comments ❤  
> Hope you enjoyed :)


	33. Chapter Thirty-Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> There's just a bit of violence in this chapter, but if you've made it this far you should be fine.  
> Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

Race did not want to be at school. Not in the slightest. He knew Medda would probably get mad at him for skipping, but Race couldn’t focus on a single thing during his first two classes so why should he go to the rest of them?  
So that’s how Race found himself, walking somewhere in New York City instead of at school. His phone was buzzing, likely from his friends trying to figure out where he went. Race ignored it, he could deal with that later. He just needed to get out of his head for a bit, that’s all.  
“Hey!”  
Race turned towards a vaguely familiar voice, locking eyes with Hotshot of all people. Reluctantly, Race approached her, attempting to seem relaxed, “Hey…”  
“Race, right?” Hotshot started, “What’re ya doin’ in Brooklyn?”  
“Oh, I’m meeting Medda, my adoptive mom. I have a doctors appointment,” Race said, “Why aren’t you in school?”  
“My family is moving apartments today, just helping out,” Hotshot narrowed her eyes, “Why would you need to come to Brooklyn for a doctors appointment? Ain’t you got doctors in ‘Hattan?”  
“Yeah, but Medda’s looking at a small production here that she might consider for her theatre on Broadway. I’m just meeting her,” Race lied easily.  
“Alright, I won’t keep you then,” Hotshot smiled, “See you later, Race. Oh, and make sure to bring Spot around to the diner again!”  
“Will do!” Race watched as Hotshot turned the corner before practically bolting in the opposite direction. He hadn’t even realized that he had ended up in Brooklyn. Race sighed, glancing at the time. It was the lunch hour at school which probably meant his friends were definitely realizing he skipped the rest of the day. But that didn’t matter. Race just needed some alone time. 

✧✧✧

“Well, then where the fuck is he, Kelly?” Spot hissed across the table, “Cause he ain’t at school anymore, that’s for sure.”  
“Clearly I don’t know where he is, Sean,” Jack snapped back, “He’s your boyfriend!”  
“He’s your brother!” Spot exclaimed, “And don’t call me Sean.”  
“I’ll call you whatever the fuck I want,” Jack shot back, “This is probably all your fault anyway.”  
Spot glared at Jack, “What the fuck do you mean by that?”  
“He started acting out about the time you started dating, right?” Jack accused, “It seems like you’re a bad influence, Conlon.”  
“Jack-” Davey started.  
“No, this is between me and Spot,” Jack interrupted, “Stay out of it.”  
“I ain’t a bad influence, Kelly,” Spot hissed, “Seems like I’m the only one who notices him sometimes. Where’s your savior complex when it comes to Tony, huh? Or does tha-”  
Spot’s head was snapped to the side suddenly, as he quickly realized Jack had just punched him and looked to be going in for another hit. Spot launched himself towards the other boy. The two only managed to get a few hits in before being pulled apart by their friends.  
“Stop it!” Charlie exclaimed, “How is this helping? You’re both just making it worse. Grow up, apologize to each other, and move on.”  
“Sorry,” Spot huffed reluctantly. He turned back to Charlie, “You're right, kid.”  
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry too,” Jack said, sitting further away from Spot. Jack glanced at Davey, “And I’m sorry for snapping at you.”  
“Now as long as you two aren’t going to start anything, let’s actually figure out what to do,” Sarah began, “I think-”  
“Sorry,” Spot mumbled glancing down at his ringing phone, “Hotshot? Why’re you… No, that’s not true… Did you lose track of him? Or… No, thanks, Hotshot. Yeah, see ya later,” Spot hung up, sighing before starting again, “Race is in Brooklyn, or was. Hotshot, my friend, ran into him a few minutes ago, thought she should call me. He said he was there to meet Medda.”  
“Medda’s at home with Gabby,” Smalls interrupted, “She has to go to the doctor today.”  
“He probably won’t be with her then,” Charlie said, “They had a small argument last night.”  
Katherine furrowed her brow, “Do you think it’s because of that?”  
“I mean, maybe,” Jack said, “He seemed pretty thrown by it. Maybe he just needed to get away from school today.”  
“He should still text us,” Albert grumbled, “It isn’t fair to keep us in the dark. Even a simple ‘I’m okay’ would be better than this.”  
“Well I guess that doesn’t matter right now,” Sarah said, “We just have to try and figure out where he is, but we can’t all skip with him.”  
“I can go look for him,” Katherine offered, “My dad’s on a business trip so even if the school called him he wouldn’t be able to do anything.”  
“I’ll go too,” Spot sighed, “I’m staying with my dad for the week so I have to be in Brooklyn anyway.”  
“Alright, you two sneak out after lunch. I’m gonna call Medda,” Jack stood up, “Can you come with me, Crutch? She’ll react better with you there.”  
Charlie rolled his eyes but followed Jack towards the hallway nonetheless. It was clear everyone was nervous, especially since Race had a bad habit of running away, accidental or not. They just hoped Race was alright. 

✧✧✧

Race cringed as his phone sounded with a familiar ringtone. Medda. It was the eighth time she had called. Race had somehow found himself back in Manhattan, only about twenty minutes from the apartment, but he wasn’t ready to go back. He just needed to be alone a bit more, then he would be fine.  
The problem was that Race had been telling himself that for the past six hours and he was still not fine. His head was spinning and Race was starting to feel like he did before he would get a drink, which scared him. Race shook his head, attempting to shake away from his thoughts, blissfully unaware of the person that had been following him for the past ten minutes.  
Race turned into an alley, stopping right at the entrance. He closed his eyes, rubbing his hands over them. Before he could realize what was happening he was pulled further into an alley and shoved against a wall, his bag violently being pulled away from him. Race looked up, being met with a middle-aged man with cold eyes.  
“Are you a fucking f*g?” The man spat.  
“What? What’re you talking about?” Race said shakily, “Why would you t-think that?”  
“I see the damn pins on your bag. Stupid rainbow shit,” the man laughed bitterly, “you got any money?”  
“Y-yes, in the front p-pocket,” Race responded. The man held Race tightly against the wall while digging through his bag. He pulled out Race’s wallet, grabbing the cash from it and tossing the rest on the ground. Race was suddenly shoved roughly on the ground, the man landing a few kicks on him. The man landed a swift kick at Race’s face before running off, leaving Race crumpled on the ground.  
After a few minutes, Race pulled himself up, realizing that he should probably actually get home now. Leaning heavily on the walls of buildings and ignoring the glares from passersby, Race made his way back to his apartment. Pulling out his keys and shakily opening the door, Race prepared himself for the mess he likely made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp.  
> Did I write this instead of studying for my finals? Yes. Do I regret that? To be determined.  
> Anywho, please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> I love reading y'all's comments ❤  
> Hope you enjoyed :)


	34. Chapter Thirty-Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> My bad on disappearing for a hot second but here's another chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

“Where the hell… what happened?”   
Race glanced up at Jack, guilt evident on his face, “I’m sorry.”  
“That doesn’t answer my question!” Jack exclaimed, “You disappeared and now you come back looking like shit, you can’t-”   
“Jack. That will be enough,” Medda interrupted sternly, “Tony, come with me. Let’s get you cleaned up.”   
Race followed Medda into her bathroom, avoiding Jack’s annoyed gaze. Race dropped his bag in front of him, sitting on the toilet as Medda rummaged through her cabinets. Race sniffed, “I-”  
“Let me speak first, Tony,” Medda said quietly, “You can’t keep doing this. I know you are not stupid but you have been making stupid decisions and that needs to change. I was worried sick, so were all your friends. It is dark out, you could’ve been dead in a dumpster somewhere and we wouldn’t have even known,” Medda paused, wiping the tears from her cheeks, “Do you know how much we care about you? Do you know how much I love you, Tony?”   
Race shrugged, “Not really. I mean I do, but part of me won’t believe it. I’m just always convinced that it’s fake and you’ll get tired of me or something. It’s stupid.”   
“No, no, baby,” Medda assured, “It’s not stupid. How about we try to do a better job with telling you every day how much we care? Would that help?”   
“Probably,” Race muttered.   
“Now, I know you likely don’t want to tell me this, but I need to know what happened. How did you get hurt, honey? Did you get into a fight?” Medda questioned.   
“I got mugged,” Race admitted, “For real this time. Some dude saw the rainbow pins on my backpack and pulled me into an alley and robbed me.”  
“Oh baby, was it-”   
“Yeah, it’s because I’m gay. He probably thought I was an easy target,” Race let out an empty laugh, “I guess he was right. I didn’t even try to fight back.”   
Medda sighed, “I’m sorry you had to deal with that, baby. Now are you going to tell me why you left in the first place, or should we save that conversation for tomorrow morning?”   
“I’d honestly just like to go to bed,” Race paused, “I’m sorry.”   
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow, baby,” Medda said as she finished patching Race up, “Sleep well, Tony. I love you.”  
“I love you too, Medda.”   
Race made his way out of his room, avoiding Jack’s harsh glare. Race could deal with his friends’ anger tomorrow. Right now he just needed to sleep. Race paused at his door, sighing and turning to knock on the door to Gabby’s room.   
“Gabs?” Race called quietly, “Can I come in?”   
“Yes,” A soft voice responded.   
Race gently opened the door, letting himself in. He gently sat on the edge of Gabby’s bed, a soft smile on his face, “Hey, Sorella.”  
“Why do you keep leaving?” Gabby asked, her eyes wide.   
Race took a deep breath, choosing his next words carefully, “Gabby, do you ever have those days when you don’t feel super happy? Bad days?”   
“Yeah, sometimes.”   
“Well so do I,” Race explained, “And on those days I can’t always think straight and that makes me do stupid things, like forget to tell people where I am.”  
“Is that what happened today?” Gabby whispered.   
“Yes, it is, Sorella,” Race admitted.   
“Was it my fault?”   
“What?”   
“I wasn’t nice to you last night,” Gabby whimpered, “Is that why you left?”   
“No!” Race assured quickly, “I don’t know why I left, exactly. But it wasn’t that, Gabs.”  
“How can you know for sure?” Gabby asked, “You don’t even know why.”   
“Because I would never leave you, Gabby,” Race said, “I ain’t ever leaving you. I know it doesn’t always feel like I’m here, but I am.”  
“You scare everyone, Tony,” Gabby whispered, “You scare me.”  
Race’s face fell, tears pricking the back of his eyes, “W-what?”   
“When you don’t talk to people for a day or two, or when Mama doesn’t know where you are,” Gabby said, “I don’t like it.”  
“I’m sorry, Sorella. I’m sorry I scare you and Medda and-”  
“Why do you call her Medda?” Gabby interrupted, “I call her Mama. So do Jack and Charlie. Even Smalls sometimes.”   
“I’m not sure but,” Race paused, “that’s a conversation for another time. Do you need anything else tonight? You should be getting to sleep soon, Gabs.”   
“I don’t need anything else,” Gabby said, snuggling under her covers, “Goodnight Tony.”   
Race smiled lightly, “Goodnight, Sorella.” 

✧✧✧

It was dark. Way too dark for Race’s liking. He felt trapped. No, he was trapped. He was in a small space, one that felt way too familiar. Panicked, Race pushed up against the door, praying that it was unlocked. Just like always, it wasn’t. He quickly shoved himself against the wood, attempting to take down the door, though he knew that wouldn’t work. It never did.   
Tears were springing in Race’s eyes, threatening to spill over at any second. He pounded on the door, calling for help as loudly as he dared. A slam sounded from outside, followed by heavy, fast footsteps. Race quickly dove into the corner, but he knew what was coming next. What always came next.   
Race buried his hands in his face. A tough hand grabbed his shoulder, pulling him from the room. Race let out a sob that sounded more like a scream to his own ears. He was being shaken. Race let out another whimper before…  
“Tony!”   
Race shot up, panting. He blinked as he became aware of where actually was. Shakily, Race turned to look at who had shaken him awake, “Jack?” he croaked.   
“Yeah, Racer,” Jack said softly, “it’s me.”   
“I’m sorry I woke you,” Race whispered, wiping the tears from his face.   
“No, kid, don’t be sorry,” Jack assured, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”  
Race sighed, “Did I wake everyone up?”  
Jack faltered, “I mean… technically.”  
Race groaned, “Can I just go back to sleep?”   
“That depends,” Jack started, “Are you going to scream in your sleep again?”   
“It’s fine it was just a nightmare,” Race grumbled, “I’m fine.”  
“If it’s fine I bet you won’t mind telling me what it was about.”   
“Jack, I really don’t-”   
“Racer,” Jack interrupted, staring gently at the other boy, “Just tell me. It’s no big deal, kid. I won’t laugh or make you feel bad.”  
Race resisted the urge to roll his eyes, taking a deep breath before he started, “I was back at my apartment. With my dad. I was in the closet and I was trying to get out but I couldn’t and he came to get me.”  
“Came to get you to do what?” Jack questioned.   
“Hurt me,” Race responded simply, “that’s usually what happened.”   
“Jesus Christ, kid,” Jack sighed, “How often do you have these nightmares?”  
Race shrugged, “Often enough. Usually, I don’t… wake up screaming.”  
“Does Ma- Medda know?”   
“She probably does now,” Race pouted, “And you can call her mama near me. It’s not like I don’t know who you’re talking about.”   
“Well, I... you don’t…” Jack stuttered, “I didn’t know if you were uncomfortable with it or something.”   
“I’m not,” Race groaned, “I just… I had a mom. I’m just not ready to call Medda that.”   
“You can have two moms, Tony,” Jack pointed out, “I have two, so does Charlie and Smalls and Gabby.”   
“But it’s different,” Race sighed, “I knew my mom. I loved her. She never did anything bad. But all you either never knew your mom or she wasn’t a good mom.”   
“My mom was a good mom,” Jack stated.  
“But I thought-”  
“Let me finish, Racer,” Jack paused, “She definitely needed help. She shouldn’t have tried to do it on her own. She was young and stupid and couldn’t handle being a mom, but she wasn’t all bad. She tried, and I loved her, and I know she loved me.”   
“But I thought she abandoned you? Left you at a fire station.”   
“She did, but she did that to help me. She knew she couldn’t do it anymore and she thought that was the best way to help me,” Jack finished.  
“I just feel like I can’t, Jack,” Race looked up at his brother, “Does that make me a bad person? I feel pretty shitty about it.”   
“No, Racer,” Jack assured, “You ain’t a bad person. Mama understands and if you ever feel ready to call her anything other than Medda, she will accept it gratefully.”   
“Okay, thank you, Jackie,” Race sighed, “And sorry about waking you.”   
“I’m just glad I could help, kid.”  
“Jack, chill it with the ‘kid’ shit, I’m not even a year younger than you.”   
Jack chuckled, “Whatever, try to get some more sleep, Tony. I’ll see ya in the morning.”   
“Night, Jackie,” Race yawned, falling asleep minutes later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mhm.   
> My bad on that unexpected hiatus, 2021 has not been very kind these past few weeks. But I'm here again and I'm going to try to get more chapters out.   
> Anywho, please let me know if I missed any tags!  
> I love reading your comments ❤  
> I hope y'all enjoyed :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> I'd love some constructive criticism since this is my first fic. I should get the other chapters up soon. Also feel free to follow me on Tumblr @complete-newsies-trash  
> The future chapters will be longer, also I would love to hear any ideas you have!  
> Hope you have a good day/night/morning :)


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